Must Read: The Player

Episode 6 years ago

Must Read: The Player

Three weeks to the start of GCE, Kiki and Bauchi were still at loggerheads with each other, Ezekiel hated his guts, and he didn’t seem to care. I was his only ally in the house and it was something I felt comfortable about.Oge’s protruding stomach was getting noticeable; her wedding ceremony with bros Emma was the next Saturday. Tope and Ugo were around briefly, I was very happy to be with them again.

Ugo complained about the dilapidated state of the Police College, he told us stories of having to defecate in the bush and sometimes go days without bathing because there was no water and the well was dry. He described the opulence of the senior rank and how the money from the federal government never filtered to the bottom. He said he fully understood why cops collected 20Naira on the streets from commuters. It was a process of our bosses collect from the government, we collect from the people.

Tope on the other hand was still the same, except that he had a new friend. Her name was Uju, she was a law student like he was.
She visited him while we sat in a bar by Zone A car park. I was surprised when she walked in; I think Ugo was also because we didn’t believe tope could score a girl as cute as that.

“Guys, meet my queen and life,”
he said, blushing as she sat beside him.

Bauchi had taught me to stand when a girl was on her feet or has just entered a room in which I am, so I stood to shake her. Ugo just followed suit like a zombie.

“Nice to meet you, I have heard so much about you,” I said, though I didn’t know anything about her. She smiled gladly.

We ordered Maltina for her while the others took their Lagers; I was in love with Guinness. I kept stealing glances at Uju, didn’t she see what we saw or was she blind?

“My man!” a voice screamed that was unmistakably Bauchi’s. With him was a guy that we all knew in the area, his name was Odogwu. Odogwu was short, black and pot bellied. He was also a notorious Igbo seller who found himself in the police then regularly. Mothers used him as a warning to their children…’you will end up like Odogwu if you don’t take time’, ‘that boy has started smoking igbo like Odogwu’, those were just a few.

Though we had grown, we still feared him; I was equally shocked when Bauchi led him to our table. They joined us with their seats with no invitation.

“Oh my God, sweet banana,” Bauchi said kissing Uju on the extended hand she had expected to receive a handshake with.

“Hello,” she said.

Tope unconsciously placed his left hand on his temple.

“This your skin fine die, abi Odogwu?” Bauchi asked his semi drunk friend.

“Nna meeeen, she fresh die, if no be say anything like that, I for just chance am from this men dem.”

Tope let out something that was supposed to be a laugh but came out more as a shriek.

“Bros Bauchi, na my guy chic o,” I quickly added.

“Ahn ahn, we know na, we are just paying compliments, though I must admit she is as fine as the devil’s mistress.”

Uju hiccups came from nowhere.

I guess she started feeling uncomfortable because she excused herself to leave after a while, Odogwu wanted to leave to so Bauchi saw him off, telling me to wait for him so that we could go home together.


“That Bauchi guy is strange,” Ugo said, taking a cup from his second bottle.

“Make sure you arrest him as soon as you have the license to.”

“For what offence, specifically?” Ugo asked.

I thought about all Bauchi had told me, about what he had done and still does.

“Just arrest him for being Bauchi,”
I said, chuckling.

He looked at me with penetrating gaze; he must have thought there was something I was trying to say. I changed the topic.

“So your sister is getting married this weekend?”

“Yes, my little sister is. I don’t like Emma, but I’m glad he didn’t deny the pregnancy.”

“Yes, he took responsibility.”

“Well he is the only person to have slept with her, so he had to,” he added.

I almost choked on the black brew.

“True…very true,” I said looking at the bottle in front of me.

Tope came back and some minutes later, Bauchi entered too.

He ordered the barman to give him another bottle. We had exhausted the money we brought t the bar, so I told him I was sorry and wouldn’t be able to pay for his beer.