Must Read: The Player

Episode 6 years ago

Must Read: The Player

GCE was to begin the next Monday and I had done the best I could to prepare myself for it.

Bauchi assisted me by asking me random questions at night. It was a peculiar sight seeing him with a booklet of past questions in on hand and a roll of blunt on the other hand.
The fact that he was usually Unclad was not n issue anymore. The goat was the only other member of our clique, he was growing fatter and fine. Bauchi decided against taking it for mating with Baba Hafusa’s goats, he suspected that had STDs.

I overheard an argument between Kiki and Bauchi on the Sunday preceding my exams.

It was one of those nights when she screamed his name because she was horny.
He excitedly ran to her room but 5 minutes later, the house was filled with their voices, not the erotic kind of noises, but voices suggesting that things were not alright.

I tiptoed to hear clearly.

“Will you kiss me if I do what you want?” he screamed

“Na kiss dey worry you, yes I will kiss you,” she replied.

“French or plain kiss?”he asked

“Igbo kiss”.

The reply knocked me off my feet; I had to stop myself from falling with laughter.

“what, Igbo kiss is sweet o,” she continued.

“dem don kiss you igbo kiss?” Bauchi asked.

“No but I can imagine it.”

There was a moment of incoherent mumblings between them, I was about to go back when I heard her clearly.

“Bauchi, I don’t love you anymore. Get used to it.”

“Who do you love?”
“Nobody, I want to be free now.”

“You are a Bleeping liar, one small boy don dey straff you for school abi?” his voice was higher than I had ever heard.

What I heard was a slap, it must have been a slap.

“Don’t you ever hit me again, in your life!” Bauchi screamed.

What I heard was another slap.

I wanted to break into the room and stop them from what was an impending doom.

I could hear them struggle with each other.
He hadn’t expected the next slap.

They kept struggling and I was just bidding my time before separating them, then I heard her scream.

It was not the kind of scream I was expecting to hear. So I moved closer.

“Whooooooooooooahhh, I…am…not…even….weeeeeeeet,” she m0aned.

“but….you…like…it….right?” he asked her..

I didn’t hear the reply; the only sound was Bauchi ramming Kiki on the bed.

His grunting increased, she was making sounds that suggested she was close to climaxing.

“Don’t Pour inside me,” it was more of pleading.

More grunts, more bed shaking, then he groaned and she sighed. I tiptoed back to my room.

When he came back some minutes later, he was looking dejected.

“Bros howfar na, what’s wrong?”

He sat on my bed with his bare butt0ckz, his head bowed. I felt bad.

“kiki no want me again, that girl don fvck me up!”

“She no want you like how?”
“She say she don dey with one Yoruba boy now,” he said, raising his head up.

“Which state are you from, Bauchi?”
He looked at me like I was a moron.

“Na my state of origin be the issue here abi?”

“Why you come dey tell me the tribe of her new bf?”

“Chai, are you with me or against me, did I say him be her bf?”

“But you say she dey with am, na?”
He hissed at me.

“Because dem don dey kiss, no mean say na her bf. I am her bf.”

“Ok boss,” I humbly replied.

“When you dey finish your paper tomorrow?”

“5:30,” I said.

“Good, we dey go visit the guy. Me, you and Odogwu.”

I didn’t like the idea.
“What if I no wan go?” I asked.

He looked at me and laughed, plucking strands of hairs from his beard.

“You go follow me go, you be my man.”

This was the beginning of the end, in ways I never knew, and believe me, you never can imagine.