Must Read: Awkward Ways I Met Girls

7 years ago

Must Read: Awkward Ways I Met Girls

I slept over at Ifeanyi’s. Femi and his girl stayed over too. I didn’t really put much thoughts to Vicky that night. I remembered her en passing though.

The next morning, I got up early and was playing game when Ifeanyi’s girl came out into the living room where I, Femi, Josh and Ifeanyi slept.

Everybody just slept anywhere he found himself.

She hit me on the shoulder “how was ur night?”
“Fine. What’s good? Did u sleep well?”
“Yes”
“Let me make tea, do u want?”
“Yes. I’d like a cup.”

She went into the kitchen. While my mind kept wondering at her niceties. A short while later, she came out with two cups.

Femi, Josh and Ifeanyi were sleeping like logs of wood.

She set a cup down beside me. Then I realized what this was all about when she said
“Do you really like Vicky? Are you serious about her?”
Na wa oh. Women and gossip! This early morning? Women love gossip sha. Pass as guys love game.

An hour later, the ladies had made something to eat. I was still at the game. The guys on hang-over had gotten up. We ate and everybody left.

Funny, soon as I left for home thoughts of Vicky engulfed my mind.

I thought about that fine girl. And the weight of her beauty began to settle in.

I was itching to call her but I decided not to seem desperate. I waited for the whole day to pass. By night I couldn’t hold it any longer, I really wanted to talk with her.

So I did a really funny thing. I dialled Vera
“Vera what’s up?”
“I’m cool. Hmmm this one you are calling me, am I free to assume anything?”
I laughed
“Anything like what?”
“I don’t know. Maybe something about your new found wife”
I laughed hard and regretted I was that transparent.

“Which one did you follow me to go carry drinks or prostrate to elders”
“Na you know o. Oya, so why are you calling?”
At that I couldn’t find words to reply. I just laughed
“Okay. So how is she doing?” I asked Vera
“Why not call her to find out. Do I look like her PA or secretary?”
We joked on for a bit more till I dropped.
When I dropped, I contemplated calling Vicky. Something told me not to call her. One easy way to a girl is through her friend.

You need not stress yourself over her, just become friends with her friend and things will begin to come through smoothly. More relaxed and less stressful.

I was badly itching to talk with Vicky. But one wrong move is to seem to rush into her.
So I waited.

And when I couldn’t wait anymore, I picked up my phone and scrolled to the contact ‘Vicky’…
It was in the morning, the next day. A little while later, a voice came on:

“Hello”
“Hey what’s up Vicky?”
“I’m kool. Sorry, who am I speaking with?”
“Stag”
“Okay. Stag. But I can’t seem to remember”
Yes, I should have expected that. Same old gimmicks ladies play. She probably has my number already saved o.

Lol.

Girls and the interesting way they act sometimes.

But I was calm and very relaxed. I didn’t have bad intentions so I didn’t need to pretend nor try to assert myself in any way whatsoever. She looked nice and I could tell she had a very sweet personality.

“We met recently at a mutual friend’s place with your friend Vera.”

“Okay. But which friend?”
I breathed out heavily to pass across a message.

Really I didn’t need all the questions.

” Your friend Vera…”

At this point, she exclaimed
“Ohhhh! Okaaay. Yes, I remember”
I kept quiet for a moment in a way that suggested I hadn’t called to be interrogated
“So what’s good? How’re you doing?”
“I’m fine o. And thanks for the drinks”
“What drinks?”
“If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t even had a coke to drink”
“C’mon!” I said
“Anyways, thanks sha”
“Well, I just thought to be in touch. And make sure my wife is doing okay” she laughed. After a brief silence she said
“And who’s that?”
“Who’s who?”
“Who’s the wife?”
“So you mean you don’t you know?

“No, I don’t. Enlighten me”
“I was crowned with a wife. And if u don’t know, then maybe I really don’t have a wife”
“Who crowned you with a wife and where did you carry drinks to? Who did you dobale for?” She laughed hard
I laughed a bit too but was quiet again.
“Better. You know you don’t have any wife anywhere”
Hmmmm…

Unknown to me, I had been extensively talked about and thoroughly analysed. And the powers that be had conferred on her a husband.

As time went on, I began to see more and more of Vera’s crafts in play.

That evening when I and Josh spoke, he had asked about her. When I showed how surprised I was, he told me
“Stag that girl really likes you o”.

I was wowed.

Ladies sha. So somehow, Vera had told Josh within 24hours. But one thing I knew is: if Vicky didn’t like me, I’d know from Vera’s body language.
Anyways, I played along.