Must Read: The Player

6 years ago

Must Read: The Player

I wasn’t scared of the goat or had any problems if Bauchi wanted to buy his girlfriend a freaking pig, what bugged me was the fact that the goat seemed to be suffering from diarrhoea and was dropping pellets of faeces all over my floor.

“Kiki, I am sorry. It was a lapse of Judgement on my side. It will never repeat itself again,” Bauchi pleaded.

Kiki stood up and left for her room, leaving the goat, Bauchi, Ezekiel and I.

“Brother Bauchi, I know right now you regret your actions, can I ask when I would be getting my money back?”

“You will get it as soon as Jesus comes. I hear you tell all the children in the Block that it won’t be long, right?”

“You are a beast!” Ezekiel replied then fumed into his room with his oversized trousers that only a very tight belt held in place.

“Bros, how we go do this goat now?”

“I no understand, my man.”

“Are you going to return it or are we going to kill and eat it?”

He shook his head as if I had said the most incredulous thing ever.

“Fifi my fine man, if you forget anything wey I tell you today, no forget say I tell you say, never like any particular girl too much. But if the gods curse you and you find yourself in that perilous position, don’t ever let her know. Kiki is my biggest problem in this life and probably till afterlife.”

Many a time, I wondered how Bauchi processed his thoughts; I wondered how he saw life. From all I have been able to decipher, he was a street boy that didn’t live according to norms. But I wondered why he sounded so philosophical, I didn’t agree with most of his sayings but I still found them interesting.

“Bros, you never answer me oh. Wetin we go do with this goat?”

“It is a symbol of my love for Kiki, we nurture it till she allows me back into her life and pants,” he said with a wink.

He tried one last time to enter her room but she didn’t open the door to him, so he pulled of his clothes as usual and joined me inside mine.

We could hear the goat bleating, it was annoying. Bauchi doesn’t clean the house.
Kiki did, with most of her attention in the kitchen. Ezekiel did his bit. I doubted if any of them was going to pack the goat Shtt in the morning.

Bauchi had headphones on, that was the only thing he had on listening to D’banjs ‘Tongolo’. It was loud I could hear him.

I tapped him angrily telling him I couldn’t sleep with all the sounds the goat was making. He apologised and went to get it.

The next thing I knew, Ezekiel’s door was opened, he took the guy’s key from the keyhole, pushed the goat inside and locked the door from outside the room.

“Jesus, precious blood of Jesus what is this?” Ezekiel screamed.

Bauchi came back to the room with Ezekiel’s key in his grasp.

“Oh my lord, this is enough, enough is enough. Why am I being so persecuted by wicked men of this world, oh my lord!”

Bauchi settled down beside me, his headphones were back on. I could hear Ezekiel pace around the room, the goat’s bleat seemed to coincide with the prayers his roommate was saying.

After threatening fire and brimstones, with no much success, he started begging.

“Bauchi forgive me, please open the door. Forget about the money, just open the door.
This goat is shitting everywhere.”

Only if he knew that Bauchi was snoring.

He b@nged the door, crashed on it a couple of times to force it open then he gave up.

“Unto thee O’lord do I lift up my soul ….” he sang into the night