Must Read: The Player

6 years ago

Must Read: The Player

I had to get a Taxi for Ene to go home.
We were both bruised, she was too weak t go to the bus stop to board a bus. I was exhausted myself, when I asked her if she wasn’t going to see her boyfriend again, she hissed at me. I took that as a ‘no’.
Kiki was back from classes when I returned, she was making noodles. Bauchi was still on the couch, he wasn’t Unclad. Ezekiel was not back.

“Your friend is still not talking to me,” Bauchi said as I sat down beside him.

“Have you begged her?”

“Yes na, I followed her to school sef, she ignored me like I was one toaster.”

“Get her gift.”
He stood up and looked at himself.

“Am I not a gift myself?”

Such cockiness was why he would sleep in my room one more night.

Kiki came to the parlour with two plates of noodles. Bauchi sat down and quickly put a stool in front . She ignored him and instead offered me the plate.

The look Bauchi gave me was scary and funny at the same time. I really wanted to eat her food. Ene had sapped all my energy. But I had to obey the bro code.

“I am alright, kiki.”

“You don’t want to eat because of Bauchi, right?”

He was smiling sheepishly, tugging at his beards.

“No, I ate earlier, thanks,” I replied.

“You will remain hungry.”

Luckily for me, Ezekiel made a gallant entry.
He immediately greeted sister Kiki before noticing us.

“You must be hungry, Ezekiel,” she said giving him the plate of noodles filled with sardines and a boiled egg.

“Ah! You are blessed sister. Your barn shall be filled like that of Jacob.”

Ezekiel didn’t need to sit down before he started eating the food.

Kiki smiled delightfully and walked room. I don’t know if she did it on purpose, but her bum bounced a lot more than it usually did.

Bauchi waited till she had left before pouncing on Ezekiel.

“You know say na my food you dey chop, ba?”

“No na, Fifi, weren’t you here when she gave me the food?”

I kept quiet, Ezekiel became tensed.

“Bro Fifi, is this Bro Bauchi’s food?” he asked me, the gulped seem heavier.
I nodded.

He looked at Bauchi and wanted to talk but kept quiet. He slowly walked to his room.
Bauchi followed him inside, I did too.

“Bauchi, allow me change my clothes, I will cook beans for you, Very sweet oh!”

I laughed looking at Bauchi who couldn’t contain himself, he started laughing too.
“Na your papa you go cook that your fvcking beans for.”

“Bauchi, in your life, don’t ever mention my father!” Ezekiel shouted.

Bauchi had never looked taller, I watched with amazement as he lifted Ezekiel from his feet.

“Help me, Help me, Help me!” Ezekiel screamed.

Kiki ran into the room with a spatula, immediately she saw Ezekiel’s head close to the ceiling fan, she started hitting Bauchi.

“Leave the poor boy, is he the one that said you should not be able to control your wandering phallus?”

Bauchi put his hand inside Ezekiel’s pocket and brought out three 1000Naira notes.

“That is the money for the chorister’s clothes, don’t touch it. Don’t you dare!”

“Fifi, make we go chop for G.R.A.”

“Fifi, don’t go with him, let him go by himself,” Kiki said.

Once again I had to obey the bro code.

“Bauchi, surely, u will not make heaven!” Ezekiel screamed as we left the house.