Must Read: Awkward Ways I Met Girls

7 years ago

Must Read: Awkward Ways I Met Girls

It was around 7pm when Vicky left. We were still there till around 9pm, when I decided to go. Vera and Ann were still gisting, drinking, laughing and enjoying themselves. These two never have any problems.

Josh said he’d drop me but I refused. He had better chilled with the girls till they wanted to leave. I paid for the drinks both of us took at the bar counter. Josh would take the earlier bill. I left them after I bade them byes and took a taxi home.

I wondered what was up with Vicky and what would make her stop anything and everything she was doing abruptly and leave, so I dialled her.
As she told me, her mum had an accident sometime recently and hasn’t been able to walk and always needs someone around her to assist her with things. Its why she had to rush home. Her mum had called her that she needed her presence at home.
It was a touching story when she told me how her mom’s spinal chord had been affected and walking had been ruled out. She had been driving on the Abuja-Lokoja road when she had the accident. She had been bedridden for months until she got better but still can’t walk. She has been on a wheel chair ever since then.

She has physiotherapists come to the house to check her and do some exercises. Or someone takes her to the hospital to use the equipments there for further exercises. She is a nurse. A matron.

I felt sorry for the whole story.

Well, we chatted a bit more and I asked if she would like to come out the next day to see a play. She asked where it was and what it was about.
I told her.

National theatre at Area 10 periodically had stage plays. One didn’t need to take a girl out to an eatery. Cliche. Neither do I think I should go beyond odds to the many cool places in Maitama to impress a girl I’m not dating yet.
She agreed.

That night, I thought about quite a number of things. How did they cope with the stress of having a handicapped mother? How many siblings did she have? And how did her dad cope? Etc

Well, tomorrow was going to be a good day…

And indeed, when I woke up, at the first breath of air I took that Saturday morning I knew it was going to be a great day!

The play was for 5pm. I called her around 10am to be sure we still had the date.

******************************

My uncle has two children; a son and a daughter in secondary school. His wife works in Lagos. Another cousin of mine, Kemi stays in the house also. The thing is, Kemi can do amebo for the entire Africa!

The boy stays with me in same room, Kemi and the girl stay in same room. My uncle is a civil servant. Though a Director, nothing extravagant. He leads a quiet life. Most times in his room when his wife isn’t around. His wife is direct opposite.
She was a very loud and jovial woman. She could make fun of anything and anybody. She’d ‘yab’ you embarrassingly and you’d find yourself laughing at yourself. Naturally, this woman. Auntie Ranti and Kemi was a combo GossipAfrica can not defeat. All the Enconium and City People magazines are in their custody.

Anyway, this is the simple family I stay with.

I took out a chinos trousers and a polo shirt to iron. I took out the things I’d need to use and la!d them carefully out on the bed. Even the boxers, all the while whistling to the music playing at the background: Marvin Gaye’s Let’s Get It On…

I hadn’t even noticed my own excitement until Kemi entered. I didn’t even notice but I turned to see her leaning on the door when she asked
“Na wa o… Stag where are going that spread all your life properties out like this?” Smiling
I shot her a look, angrily. And she laughed hard and winked at me
“She must really be making ur heart sing. You’ve been whistling all morning disturbing this house. Na wa o… Hmmm… ”

I looked up at the ceiling
Gawd!! Which kind wahala be this naw?!!

Women and gossip.

“What is your business in all of this?” I asked
“I want to know nah. Tell me who is making my brodah’s heart sing halleluyah”
She was probing and Kemi’s curiosity knows no bounds. Especially when its a hot gist of a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. Linda Ikeji probably na learner where Kemi dey.

My phone didn’t see any other time to ring than now. Kemi will no doubt be eager to decipher who it is. She became dead silent
“Stag, you have a call” kemi reminded me like I couldn’t hear it or like I forgot
“Shuuu? Come dis girl, dem send you come?”
“Yes ooo, dem send me. The Association of Abuja Witches and Wizards wants to know who dey totori that your heart. And today-today dem must know” she said, laughing.

This amebo girl was just unrelenting.

Normally I would have been laughing, but I wasn’t finding this funny. I knew better than to get angry. The girl will taunt me with it until the trumpet sounds. What kind of a girl is this? ?

“Stag, pick your call o. Pick it and stop disturbing the whole house. Your boring ringtone is disturbing the entire house” Kemi pressured me like her depended on it.

Na wa o. I actually didn’t want to pick, I thought I’d just let it ring and call the person back when this pest named Kemi had gone. For where?

The girl just gum for door dia
Phew! I picked up the phone and checked the screen…

It was Vicky.