Must Read: Awkward Ways I Met Girls

7 years ago

Must Read: Awkward Ways I Met Girls

Hmmm
Yetunde.

I nearly started to sing that old song by Fada U-Turn ‘yetunde, yetunde o yetunde mi da’
Lol.

I was standing in front of Union bank at sabo bus-stop, in a happy mood when I heard “why are you smiling to yourself?”
I hadn’t realized I was smiling broadly to myself. I turned to see Clara! Clara was an old friend from secondary school.

We were both happy to see each other and chatted a bit. She was meeting her friend at Ozone for a movie too. Well, I had just seen one and was leaving. As we talked, who did I see? Same girl that was making me smile. She was at the bus-stop and suddenly Clara’s voice drifted to the background. That ‘ukwu’ was so pleasantly shaped, big and round, sweet to look at. In fact FRSC should do something about these true African hips that walk freely on major roads and highways. They could be causing accidents, you?
“Stag, they look absent” clara words broke into my thoughts.

“How can? I’m here with you…” If only she knew! We chatted a little more, exchanged numbers, bbm pins, facebook handles and bade the byes.

I had watched Yetunde take a taxi away. I crossed to the other side and took a bus to Jibowu. From there home.

I certainly would love to see her again. And again.

And maybe, again.

Who wouldn’t?

Later at night when I got home and trying not to look any desperate, I sent a short text. Calling her or sending long messages might sound like getting familiar. I just sent a brief…

‘nice to meet you’
And even shorter was the reply
“Same here”
Well, I got on to other things. Like, calling Clara. Yes, I could get talking freely with her. We chatted a while. Though brief. And that was all. Or so I thought.

That wasn’t all.

Next morning, I was getting ready to go out when the whatssap icon started blinking. It was Clara.
“Hope you slept well”
I replied
“Yh. Tnx. Hope u did too”
“Like a baby”
“Lol”
A few days later I called Yetunde. She sounded like she didn’t mind to hear from me. We chatted. Movies and entertainment generally seemed to be of interests to her. But also, I got curious to know how often she might think it okay to hear from me. I asked…

“I had wanted to call you yesterday but I thought you might be busy or something”
“Ehn but there’s no way you could have been sure I was busy if you didn’t call” was her reply. Hmmm, a good reply.

I later asked if we could hang out. Reluctantly, she agreed but
“..maybe later. Not now.” Fine. Very fine by me.
Clara and I had graduated to calls. In fact, it was becoming rather frequent.

And somehow, I didn’t suspect but little by little Clara and myself started to get closer.

I had thought it platonic, even when she sends “how was ur day dear” or “happy new week, hon”

The day came when I was to meet out with Yetunde. It was cool chilling with her. Back at Ozone again. Lol. She preferred to just watch a movie. Dazzall.

But no, the Oga between my legs said something else. That’s not all…

Yetunde had an aura. An aura that attracts. Not to her busty b0s0m nor big batty. She sounded like she knew her left from her right. There seemed to be a bit more to her than those heavy things she carried.

Girls with such heaviness get a lot of nasty comments everywhere. So I tried not to flirt with her yet. Still wanting to figure out how real her game is.

We talked, saw a movie and left. Infact it was another free day of popcorn and coke.

So expenses were minimal. Just 2k for both tickets. Lol.

She would not eat at the fast food on the floor below. She would have nothing else, just the popcorn and coke.

It was a nice time out with her. More importantly, she didn’t give me reasons to think that I had to impress her. I was myself. She was really a cool person.

I still like you, Yetunde.

Meanwhile, I find her super attractive. The s*x appeal from her was appalling. Many times, myrod rose just thinking about her. We were becoming close and it was time I let her in on it.

We saw again couple of times and I invited her to my house. She didn’t object. She came. Nothing happened. But of course I hugged her when she came in and those huge busty things felt really good o. I won’t lie, myrod reacted in the affirmative. While we talked I kept glancing at those unusually big oranges. The big azz was more appalling but I had to distract her from my intentions.

I have to see the magnificence of that asss in reality. ‘In reality’ means to see it live!

She definitely had noticed my intermittent glances.

We watched movies. She talked about celebrities and all. Many of the celebrities I never even heard but I just kept nodding. But of course, chipping in what I know here and there.

She eventually left. And I was happy. Patient, but without mentioning anything and without being direct, my mind has been let known.
When we talked again, she was as chatty as I have never heard her. A good sign.

The real her was beginning to come out.

Things led to things until things began to happen…
One day we were chatting on whatsapp, she said we play that common game ‘3-questions game’ where u can ask any three questions and expect the honest truth.

Her first question threw me off balance
“When last did you have s*x”
My brain cells began to relay. Well, I decided to play the game in good faith
“Three months ago”
“Liar.”
“Isn’t this the ‘truth & dare’ game?”
“Ok, so you want me to believe you?”
“If you believe my name is Stag, yes”
“You next”
A pause.
“What’s your favorite position”
“On all fours”
“Huh?”
“Are you learner?” She typed with LOL
“Teach me what it is then”
“Doggy”
“Ohhh! Doggy! Every girls favorite”
“Almost every girl. Not every girl”
“Hmmm I’m learning fast”
“Lol. You’re a fast learner”
“Oya, number two question” I typed
“When I cross your mind, what do you think of”
“When you’d spend the weekend in my crib. And doggy”
“W-H-A-T?!!” She exclaimed
“What is it?” I asked plainly
“You’re funny o”
“I know its funny. But am I supposed to be apologizing for what I think about. Maybe you shouldn’t have asked” I said
“But if you didn’t know what doggy was until I just told you, how could you have been thinking about it?”
“My teacher, are you a learner?”
“LOL!!! You are naughty”
“You started it”
“Ask your own”
I was going to ask ‘when last did you give a BJ’ but I decided to soft pedal, so I went
“Do you like to watch X-rated?”
“Yes”
“When last did you watch it?”
“Stag, you’re cheating. That’s another question. But I’ll answer. 4 months ago”
“Why four months ago?”
“You’re breaking the rules stag. That’s another question. Its not an everyday thing. I watch when I see it to watch”
“Ok…my turn” she said, continuing she asked
“What did you ex like about you? Your ex, not your current gf o”
“My voice.”
“Hmmm… I can relate to that. She’s right on that”
Woow!
For a brief moment I wondered what she was getting at
“Are you saying you like my voice?” I asked
“You’re fond of breaking rules. Is that your final question?”
“No”
“Then I won’t answer”
“Ok o. The last question will be how old are you?”
“Jamb question.”

“So answer the JAMB question”
“You’ve been breaking rules since, I will break just this once”
“Cheat.”

“Don’t we all cheat? But some cheats are honest cheats”
“All cheats are cheats. Just say if you are 25, 20, 30 or 45″
“Roflmao! No o, you don’t like 65?”
“And you could be o”
“You’re not serious”
And like that we kept chatting. It just occurred to me to invite her over again. I did and she surprised me
“I was going to ask if you’d be home on friday?”
With this, I knew we had finally connected. I knew that asss was mine. I decided to get ready for it.
In the days that followed, I was keeping fit. And I ate those foods I know about *winkwink*. All natural ways to go a marathon. By the time thursday came, I was happy!
And then, ladies and gentlemen, friday arrived!!

!