Men Dey Reason - S01 E99

1 month ago

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 99

There were a hundred and one better ways of

committing suicide.

“Brainbox, as you don pay your money for the

barbing salon wey we wan open, i want make you

borrow me your share of this money” Man said as

he was sharing the money.

“how Brainbox go borrow you money, Brainbox wey

like money pass himself” I said within.

To my greatest surprise, Brainbox said, “no

wahala, i go borrow you”.

“Baba Brain!! You be correct Man, no worry i go

give you back if we dig another pit tomorrow” Man

assured.

Man handed me a bunch of money and said, “na

16k-16k we share am, so the remaining 2k we go

use am pay for the food wey we wan chop so”.

Soroagwa brought two plates, each containing

two big wraps of Akpu and said, “that one na for

Man, i dey come make i bring una own”. Why he

used two plates to dish the Akpu was because a

plate could contain only two wraps.

Even if Man wasn’t ashamed of himself, i was

ashamed of him.

As Soroagwa brought my two wraps of Akpu, i was

wondering if the two wraps would seat

conviniently in my stomach, or an explosion would

occur.

“Soroagwa why your Akpu big today na?” Man cried

out.

“you dey fear? You must finish am oh” I almost

told Man.

“na for another place i buy this one, this one na

50naira for one, but the former one na 40naira

for one” Soroagwa answered and left.

Legend has it that why Ibos are one of the

strongest people in Nigeria is because of the kind

of food they eat. Strong Akpu, strong Pounded

Yam, even the Eba of a typical Ibo man is as

strong as a rock. Little wonder a typical Ibo man

is always muscular. Their muscular nature isn’t

because they work out alot, but because of the

strong things they swallow.

The plates of Ogbono soup were “meat-full”. A

butcher wouldn’t even eat that much pieces of

meat.

“Soroagwa this meat too much oh” I nearly said.

The Ogbono soup looked delicious. It was also hot.

Pipping hot.

Research has it that hot Ogbono soup when taken

in a haste could kill.

So i slowly swallowed.

The Ogbono soup acted as a lubricant that made

the b’alls of Akpu smoothly ran into my stomach.

Before i knew it i was on my second wrap.

And Man was on his third wrap.

“Man wey dey reason!!” I hailed.

“Soroagwa bring me one bottle of Gulder make i

take step down this food” Man ordered as we

continued eating.

Soroagwa brought it and asked, “make i bring for

una two?”. “yes, bring Udeme for me” I ordered.

“the Junior brother of Udeme no dey oh, na the

senior brother nahim dey” Soroagwa informed.

I wanted to say, “no worry, leave am, i no go fit

drink the senior brother finish”.

But before i could say that, Brainbox had already

said, “Bring two bottle of the senior brother for

me and Flow”

My stomach bulged like Atlas mountain as i walked

slowly to avoid explosion. I looked and saw that

Man’s stomach bulged like mountain Everest, he

could be best described as a kwashiorkor patient.

Previous Episode

Men Dey Reason - S01 E98

Next Episode

Men Dey Reason - S01 E100

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