Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 99
There were a hundred and one better ways of
“Brainbox, as you don pay your money for the
barbing salon wey we wan open, i want make you
borrow me your share of this money” Man said as
he was sharing the money.
“how Brainbox go borrow you money, Brainbox wey
like money pass himself” I said within.
To my greatest surprise, Brainbox said, “no
wahala, i go borrow you”.
“Baba Brain!! You be correct Man, no worry i go
give you back if we dig another pit tomorrow” Man
Man handed me a bunch of money and said, “na
16k-16k we share am, so the remaining 2k we go
use am pay for the food wey we wan chop so”.
Soroagwa brought two plates, each containing
two big wraps of Akpu and said, “that one na for
Man, i dey come make i bring una own”. Why he
used two plates to dish the Akpu was because a
plate could contain only two wraps.
Even if Man wasn’t ashamed of himself, i was
ashamed of him.
As Soroagwa brought my two wraps of Akpu, i was
wondering if the two wraps would seat
conviniently in my stomach, or an explosion would
“Soroagwa why your Akpu big today na?” Man cried
“you dey fear? You must finish am oh” I almost
“na for another place i buy this one, this one na
50naira for one, but the former one na 40naira
for one” Soroagwa answered and left.
Legend has it that why Ibos are one of the
strongest people in Nigeria is because of the kind
of food they eat. Strong Akpu, strong Pounded
Yam, even the Eba of a typical Ibo man is as
strong as a rock. Little wonder a typical Ibo man
is always muscular. Their muscular nature isn’t
because they work out alot, but because of the
strong things they swallow.
The plates of Ogbono soup were “meat-full”. A
butcher wouldn’t even eat that much pieces of
“Soroagwa this meat too much oh” I nearly said.
The Ogbono soup looked delicious. It was also hot.
Research has it that hot Ogbono soup when taken
in a haste could kill.
So i slowly swallowed.
The Ogbono soup acted as a lubricant that made
the b’alls of Akpu smoothly ran into my stomach.
Before i knew it i was on my second wrap.
And Man was on his third wrap.
“Man wey dey reason!!” I hailed.
“Soroagwa bring me one bottle of Gulder make i
take step down this food” Man ordered as we
Soroagwa brought it and asked, “make i bring for
una two?”. “yes, bring Udeme for me” I ordered.
“the Junior brother of Udeme no dey oh, na the
senior brother nahim dey” Soroagwa informed.
I wanted to say, “no worry, leave am, i no go fit
drink the senior brother finish”.
But before i could say that, Brainbox had already
said, “Bring two bottle of the senior brother for
me and Flow”
My stomach bulged like Atlas mountain as i walked
slowly to avoid explosion. I looked and saw that
Man’s stomach bulged like mountain Everest, he
could be best described as a kwashiorkor patient.