Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 25
Subtitle: F--k Fakers.
Me: baba, I no understand oh. The money na for the fowl or to produce more money?
Native Doctor: ummhh… Don’t ask stupid questions, you want make the gods strike you with madness?
Me: I whisper to Ugochukwu guy, you get 100k for hand, I no carry money come.
Ugochukwu: whisper back na only 20k dey my hand, you go pay me back if I borrow you the money.
Me: I whisper back no be money ritual I dey do? money no be problem at all.
He gave me the money and I stepped forward then dropped on the calabash, the Native Doctor looked at me in displeasure.
Native Doctor: I said 100k, why you dey drop 20k! you no want make the money come in dollars?
Me: baba, I no know say the gods need money too. I no come with money, I borrow this one from my friend, I will surely bring more when I come with the fowl.
Native Doctor: gooooo! goooooo!! Do what the gods ask of you!!!
I almost forgot my Italian shoe, I nodey use am play oh. this mumu forests want to spoil my shoe, I carried my shoes in my hands and we headed to Ugochukwu car.
We entered his car and something entered my mind.
Me: Ugo, I no understand this native doctor, you sure say this man legit?
Ugochukwu: the man na confirm native doctor, one rich guy I know even tell me about am.
I didn’t push the subject further, the fowl he gave me started making noise in the bag I put it. We drove to my yard and we parked, I carried the crying hen inside the yard and tied it on the Geepee tank stand bar. Luckily it was Saturday and everyone is at home.
Me: make all of ona come out oh!! I get important announcement to make. they all start coming out from their various rooms
Anderson: baba landlord, your caretaker don show.
Me: ehem… Anderson, you be my caretaker. You see that fowl I point the hen I tie to the geepee stand bar protect and take care of am like the way you do my house.
Anderson: all of ona don hear am? Make nobody eyes see this hen oh! make nobody even greet am, make nobody even answer em greetings, commot your eyes anytime you see am.
Papa Jayjay: it is sin qua non to commensurate th…..
Me: come come… Papa Jayjay, em never reach to speak grammar. the thing be say, make nobody kill that hen simple and short.
I left everything to the hands of Anderson and went to meet Ugochukwu who was about to go back to Aba.
Me: scratching my head you don dey go?
Ugochukwu: no, I nodey go but I dey go.
Me: you fit help me drop me for my store, I wan know how things dey be.
Ugochukwu: I nodey drop you for anywhere, except say you wan buy fuel for me.
I let him entered his car and he zoomed off, I took bike n’ keke before getting to my mini-supermarket. I went inside my store and saw everything was in order, I inspect the goods coupled with the accounting book.
Olamide and Oluchi did a very good work, I promised to increase their salaries before I took the sales money to the bank. I took a taxi with a man singing with a bag of rice hugging to himself.
Man: party sweet ohh! when money enter party is sweeter!! join NP, the powerful party!!!
Me: oga, why you dey sing song?
Man: our party people dash us one bag of rice, you know say election don dey reach. People wey wan drag election na them give us this rice oh.
Me: just rice, them don win election?
Man: no na, you need to buy the the people heart na, na money fit make you win election become councilor, chairman, house of assembly member.
Me: wetin you talk now make sense, oga give me your contact. I wan join your party, since na the party the president and the governor dey.
He willingly gave me his number and explained somethings, I cashed in the sales money for the days I was around with the help of the manager. I went back to my yard and was busy watching movie when Chima entered inside my room with a plate of pepper soup.
Chima: my mother cook chicken, she say my come give you your share.
Me: which day ona buy native fowl Chima? I eyed the two laps of chicken on the plate
Chima: my papa bring am from village today, you no like am.
Me: bring am, I wan eat.