Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 8
Subtitle: F--k Fakers.
Anderson: okay, my go tell them… Shey na two minutes?
Me: ehnn.. Two minutes.
I grabbed my hrd dck and tapped twice on her cl*t, she grabbed the bedsheet and wiggled gasping for breathe as her skin beamed with sweats.
I come ready to enter, the knocking this time around come with four hands.
Gboooor! Gbooooor!! Gbooooooooooor!!!
Me: na who be that person wey wan mad but no know where to go demonstrate am? I shout with frustration
Voices: youngest landlord, na we. Your tenants, we want make you show outside. Time nodey.
Me: I dey come. Just ten seconds.
These idiots will not allow someone to cm in peace, Cynthia was even getting tired of the whole thing. She no even wt again, another wahala to make her w*t so that I go browse her puna.
I just spit on my palm and was about to rubbed it on her puna when the knocking this time became more aggressive.
Voices: youngest landlord ten seconds don pass oh, this one you no wan come out. Hope all is well?
Me: how all go well when ona no gree make I do in peace?
Cynthia: leave this war, later we go do.
Voices: youngest landlord, you shit for knicker, this one you never still come out?!
I pulled up my boxer and wore my shirt, then wore a short that stopped just at my kneel. Cynthia took her p*nt and put on, she raised her short gown down and adjusted herself.
I came out and saw Solomon with Anderson standing just at my doorpost, I left the door open and walked to the main yard so that Cynthia will come out.
Anderson and Solomon are brothers, I picked Anderson as caretaker and his brother Solomon is assistant caretaker ordained by Anderson.
Solomon: I never dey see Cynthia oh, or she no follow us full the suck away.
Anderson: she still dey serve Nigeria our country, very soon we go see am for community.
I came out of the yard and saw all the men of the yard well sitted at the spacious compound, every room was represented by the one who rented the room and most of it is male. But only one woman whose husband wasn’t around, a police man’s wife.
Three ladies were also there apart from Cynthia who later showed up after I settled in my executive chair to discuss the next step we should take as occupants of the yard.
Benches were well lined up at both sides, the moment everyone was present especially Akpan who ran into the meeting before we started. If you come late, you will be fined and nobody wan pay that money stingy people.
Anderson stood up to open the meeting.
Anderson: ladies and gentle men, mamas and papas, aunties and sisters, huncles and brothers. Mommies and daddies, you are all welcome. The matter wey dey ground be say, Rufus and his fifteen sons with the two trailer he married don full our suckaway, thank you.
Rufus quickly raised his hand up and I permitted him to speak.
Rufus: make ona help me warn Anderson, all my children nodey yard here. Na only me and my two daughters, with my two wives dey yard. The person wey full that suckaway na Adamu, who fit talk how many mats dey em room?
Adamu quickly raised his hand up and I permitted him to speak.
Adamu: me I put me for troufle ko, me no know how many I dey am for house. No be just Aisha and Isha, me no marry am for too many wives.
He sat and papa Jayjay raised his hand up.
Me: abeg, papa Jayjay nobody wan buy panadol for here I clear my throat everybody go pay five hundred naira so that we go bring the people wey go suck those thing ona full suckaway.
My phone started ringing and I excused myself, it was Olamide who was calling.
Me: wetin happen? Hope say money no lose or armed robbers come shop? You don put the money for safe box?
Olamide: oga good evening oh, your money dey safe oga I then calm down ehnn… That lady don bring the goods come oh, them don start to put am inside shop.
Me: she dey there? Tell am say I dey come.
Olamide: she nodey o, you no need to come everything is under control.
Me: pepper enter your sense? Which day you turn remote. See, make nothing miss there or you go pay oh.
I ended call and met Anderson addressing everyone.
Anderson: ona don hear wetin youngest landlord yarn? Make everybody pay five hundred naira. But make ona wait oh, I think say Tony get one hundred million us dollars? Tony do something na.
Everyone started laughing and talking.
Tony: wetin be the meaning of that talk Anderson? You wan insult engineer of my pedigree? So, because of say I get money make I use am remedy poverty for your life or wetin?
Naso the meeting scatter, I just left them and hurried to shop.
I didn’t know how the stupid okada man did it oh! He parked me in the wrong direction, across the road back of my shop. And I didn’t have any way to get into my shop except I turn round or pass through back of aunty Chidimma’s restaurant. I entered the small gate and walked into the kitchen were plates were on the floor. Someone was washing but it seem like she left before I could get there, na so this people dey behind the scene.
There is a small house by the corner, where the owner of the shop usually chillax.
Madam Fatty corner be that….
Voice: haaaarrrddddeer!! Faaaaasssstttteerrrr! Emeka oh!!!
Me: wetin dey roar like this? which day this woman buy lion na?
My legs wan pass oh! My eyes wan see, I waka go the window peep. Come see improper fraction.