Tales of two funny ritualist - Season 1 - Episode 4

6 years ago

Tales of two funny ritualist - Season 1 - Episode 4

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Me: chaiii, pastor dey come true true oo..

Flex: wetin we go do oo.

Me: we don die today.

Flex: no, you don die today.

Me: tofiakwa, i reject it. Back to sender.

Flex: but na you be the sender na. No be you first talk am?

Me: heeyyy, na true oo.

Flex: abeg forget that thing lets think of a way out.

Me: make we just pretend say we dey pray abeg.

Flex: me i go pretend say i dey sick.

Me: ok, lets initiate the plan.

Donflex quickly feigned sickness immediately why i started singing praises to the most high God.

Me: *shouting and rolling on the floor*
There is none holy as the lord, they is none besides him. Not the hills *gen gen, i no know the remaining part of the sing o, i mean song. I better change am.

Me: Holy, are you lord!!
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Pastor: are you sure this guys really sad all those things?

Girl: yes pastor, they did.

Pastor: hmmm, ok o. Lets go and meet them.

He said and walked close to us.

Pastor: good day sir!

Me: good day pastor, may the blessing of the lord be upon you and your family.

Pastor: Amen and good day to you sir *he said referring to Donflex* whats wrong with you.

Me: erm pastor, he is not feeling fine. He is suffering from malaria, high fever and severe typhoid coupled with skin rashes, belle pain and waist pain.

Flex: *shouted* God forbid o. Iyeee! I reject am ten times. Its just a slight fever and headache pastor.

Girl: its a lie pastor, they are lying oo..

Pastor: let them be, so i heard you both were quarrelling its that true?

Flex: holy Mary

Me: mother of God

Flex: pray for us.

Me: haba na sister, why are you lying against us in the house of God, is it fair?

Girl: hey pastor, they are..

Pastor: its okay. Go back and resume your duty *he said to the girl* and have a nice day brothers.

The pastor said and left us.

Me: *brought out my tongue at the girl immediately the pastor when out of sight*
the girl just shook her head and continued her work.

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The praises and worship went well and indeed, me and Donflex were really touched.
The pastor climbed the pulpit and started preaching.

Pastor: Today’s topic is “HOW TO PROMOTE YOUR BUSINESS”

me: *whispering to Donflex* i love this.

Flex: we go apply am to our business.

The pastor kept preaching on tips on how to raise a successful business and the one that caught Me and Donflex’s attention is when he mentioned dressing code.

Pastor: some people will leave very early to work without dressing fine, dressing dirty and tattered and at the end of the day, they will blame God if their business is slow or unproductive.

Toor, no more dressing tattered again to work o. Its time to baff up.
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