Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

Episode 6 years ago

Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

As i and Ilorin walked home after the whole incident, it started raining. Something came to my mind, the skies were sympatizing with me over the pains and sorrows i went through that day; first it was the trouser and shoe wahala, secondly, the church worker wahala, thirdly, the jersey predicament and finally the pee palava. Or would i call it a “sunday of sorrow”?. I was totally lost in my thoughts trying to replay my predicament one after the other when i heard a car honk……………………. “pun pun pun!! comot for road na, if u wan die, no be me go kill u oh” the driver shouted. “wow! That was close” i tot.

I got home very famished. I opened my pot and discovered that what was left of the vegetable soup Juliet cooked the previous day was sour and was smelling badly, “see dis kin correct soup oh, e don go sour oh, and big big meat dey am oh, wetin i go do now, i no fit let this big big meat go oh” i tot.

I munched the meat like a hungry goat, though it was sour in taste but i had no choice. I searched the whole room if i could see something to eat. I found nothing except cornflakes; the conflakes i bought in place of C’ondom the other day.

As i soaked the cornflakes in water and started eating, someone came in, it was Angom, “Flow wetin u dey chop like dis na?” he asked “na cornflakes na” i responded. “which day u begin eat cornflakes na?” he asked. “guy no be me buy am oh, na person buy am for me oh, u know say i no dey like all this kin food na, nahim make since wey e dey my house na today i just dey open am” i said, “oboy i dey hungry oh, even the whole cornflakes wey dey dis world no go belle full me oh” i added.

“Me sef dey hungry, make we go Kelvin house go chop, him babe dey around, she cook rice and beans wey full pot” Angom suggested. We got to Kelvin’s room at the nick of time when the food was served. “serve my guys food oh” he told his girlfriend.

“Flow, why u sabi rush hot food na, abi ur mouth get deep freezer, d food no dey burn ur tongue?” Angom said. “na u sabi oh, u no dey hungry na, if u dey hungry, even if the food hot reach hundred degree, u go chop am like dat” i responded. “abeg i no fit rush food like u oh” Angom said. Me and Angom was eating from a plate while Kelvin and his girlfriend ate from a seperate plate. Althrough Kelvin was bombarding us with wrong english. He was trying to impress his new girlfriend that he can speak well when he knew he can’t.

Since i had known Kelvin, his grammar had grew from worse to worst, infact its nothing to write home about. He kept speaking grammatical blunder, i didn’t laugh, but i just swallowed it with the hot rice and beans, until………………. he asked his girlfriend “baby, why is the rice mucher than the beans?”.