Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

6 years ago

Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

Sammy and Kelvin had gone home bcos they were not first timers. As i listened to the boring welcome message one of the pastor was giving to us, i forgot my legs waren’t crossed, it was wide open revealing the big hole in between my legs. I quickly crossed my legs so the pastor talking to us wouldn’t see my dirty boxers bcos i was seating in front, just close to the window. As i did that, i noticed that my burnt shoe sole was fully exposed to the girl seating beside me.

“if she like make she see am na, i no send her, i no wan chyke her na, she no even fine sef” i said within me. “would any of u like to be a worker in the church?” the pastor asked. I didn’t hear what he asked but my hands were already up, not bcos i wanted to be a worker but bcos i was about to wave Dami from the window, she was walking to where her mum’s car was parked. “yes! Our brother here has volunteered himself” the pastor said pointing at me, at that moment i tried to bring down my hands but i wasn’t fast enough.
Instantly the formerly sweet soft drink they offered us became bitter as i drank. About four other persons also raised their hands up volunteering themselves, but the hand i wanted up was not up, Ilorin’s hand. “why u no raise ur hands na, u no like to be worker?” i asked Ilorin. “guy na u sabi oh, i no wan be worker oh, wetin u feel like sef, u feel say na ur type dem dey find as worker?” Ilorin teased. “guy i no know which kin devil go raise my hand up oh, na mistake oh, big mistake” i responded.

The pastor took the data of all that wanted to be a worker, i tot of giving a wrong data, but i did otherwise bcos the main pastor of the church knew me as one the corpers they gave accomodation when we first came to Ilesa, he was even with my phone number, and i couldn’t even think of myself changing church now. “guy u don enter hot ogbono soup oh, so u go become worker be that” Ilorin said as we walked to our compound. “no be bad thing na, atleast na God work i go do na” i responded. I entered my room, switched on my TV. As i was watching the concluding part of a Jet Li Movie i had started watching previously, i noticed there was a note on top of the Tv, i opened it and it read: Flow, i took 3k from the Flow bank.

PS: lemme go treat myself. It was Juliet. Flow bank is a place under the TV where i do keep money i didn’t want to put in my wallet, so when i tell someone i had no money, the person believes me on seeing my empty wallet (sharp Ibo boy brain). Juliet was the only person that knew what part of my house the Flow bank was, though i do change the location from time to time. 8k out of the money Ireti gave me was in the Flow bank that morning, and now 3k was gone.