Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

Episode 6 years ago

Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

I got to the boutique, stared for a while at the beautiful gown, and then walked in. As i walked in, i was shocked when i saw Dami to the extent that the book i held in my hands fell. “hello!! My princess, how do u do?” i said as i quickly picked up my books from the floor, “am fine, what did u come to do in a female boutique?” Dami asked as i searched for the best lie in my “brain-box of lies”. “ehn! ehn! ehn, i came to see if they sell Male Perfumes here” i lied “do u sell perfumes?” Dami asked the boutique attendance “no we don’t” the attendance responded. I discussed with Dami as she selected some clothes, asking me if they were beautiful on her. I told her all the clothes were beautiful on her, even though some of them made her look like a clown.

“thank God say this girl no say make i pay for this clothes wey she buy oh” “she no fit talk like dat sef”, “mehn!! see as this girl don make me no buy that cloth for Juliet again” “wetin i go tell Juliet say i buy for her this valentine sef, abeg i no get money jor, i go switch off my phone so she no go fit call me throughout today, abi na must say person go must do valentine” i tot of all these as i walked with Dami. “when would u pay me a visit?” i asked Dami “i dunno, u know am always at my mum’s shop, ok lets say tommorow evening” she promised.
Dami reached her mum’s shop and i was left alone walking home. Just then, i could feel my stomach rumble, “abi i wan purge?” i asked myself as i walked faster.

I got home, and i instantly rushed to the toilet to defecate. The toilet was locked from inside, “who dey there oh” i shouted “na me oh” Sammy said, “Sammy so u sef dey purge? e be like say na dat Amala and Ewedu oh” i shouted “na so oh” Sammy said “guy do quick oh, d s*hit wan comot for my nyash oh, make i no s*hit for body oh” i shouted again as i felt something moving in my bowels. Something watery suddenly came out of my a*nus, “i don s*hit for my body be dat oh” i said to myself. I was sweating profusely. I couldn’t bear it any longer so i decided to do “short-put”, i looked for the nearest nylon bag, bend down, did “my thing” in the nylon bag. As i defecated in the nylon bag, i felt relieved, “when the preferable is not available, the available becomes preferable. When toilet is not available, short-put becomes preferable” i said to myself. It took ages before i finished defecating yet Sammy was still inside the toilet. “u dey born pekin there, abi u go sleep there?” i asked Sammy “Guy see wetin Amala and Ewedu don do us” he responded. I tot of where to throw my poo away, and i concluded to throw it over the fence to the next compound. I threw it the way athletes throw “short-put” in the Olympics, and i heard………………… “who be that!!! who throw that thing”……..