Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

6 years ago

Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

“Flow come out make we go meet them Kelvin for Alejo l’owo joint na, dem go don dey wait us oh” Sammy said knocking at my door, “i dey come make i wear cloth” i responded from inside. I put on my Drinking cap; thats my black Kangol cap and we were off to Alejo l’owo joint.

As we got there. The other guys were already on their second bottles. I immediate told the “birthday boy” Kelvin to pass me my brand 1759(guinness). As i was almost done with my first bottle Angom said, “Alomo dey here to pour for your drink oh” “how u go mix Alomo and beer, u wan die?” i cautioned. “Flow e dey make sense oh, doctor say e dey good for heart, try am na” Ilorin said, pouring some Alomo into my beer.

I siped the mixture, and contrary to what Ilorin said, it was burning my heart. Soon Kelvin ordered “pepper soup” for everybody. As i drank the hot pepper soup i tot i heard something fall internally from my chest to my stomach. “abi my heart don fall comot?” i asked myself as i continued drinking. I was on my 5th bottle, and i was seriously floating in the skies. “make we smoke weed na” Angom said, “u dey mad oh, we never drink all this drinks wey still remain u wan smoke weed, e b like say u no like ur brain oh” i said. I drank my 6th, 7th and 8th bottle, i had broken my previous record of 7 bottles, i didn’t break the record only on 1759 but “1759 mixed with Alomo”, so its a great midestone in my drinking carrear. Just then, Ojiga came to our table, after he shook hands with all of us, he ordered for another bottle round for everybody, as the bottles were brought, Ojiga went back to his table where he was drinking with a guy. “Ilorin, u sure say dis Ojiga no plan with those robbers make dem come rob Mama Alhaja” i said “yes oh, u no c as him dey spend money, and him dey follow big big boys wey dey drive motor sef, even sef that guy wey him sidon with there fit b that same guy wey come beat me for toilet that day oh” Ilorin said. It was time to leave and Kelvin went to plead with Ojiga for them to take us home with their car bcos it was late and we wouldn’t see a cab.

Everybody stood up to leave except me. “Flow stand up make we dey go na, abi u wan sleep here” Sammy attacked “wey my leg, who carry my leg, wey my leg?” i asked as they all laughed beyond control. “mumu, c your leg with u, no body carry ur leg” Angom shouted dragging me up my foot. I walked like a baby that just started walking to where the car was parked.

As the car drove off, my stomach was begining to rumble as if i wanted to throw up “guy no vomit inside dis car oh” i told myself.
As we all walked drunk to our rooms, “comot for my room na, na ur room be dis?” i asked Ilorin, “mumu, na my room u dey enter, abi u no dey c well” Ilorin answered. We both entered Ilorin’s Room, as i lay down on his bed to sleep………………….. ” uhn gboon,
ngboooo!!!”………………. “Flow u don Vomit for my bed oh”………….