Must Read: Honorable Secretary (18+)

Episode 6 years ago

Must Read: Honorable Secretary (18+)

Just as I opened my mouth to scream, something beeped. Something loud and I opened my eyes instead.

It had all been a dream – or better still – a very graphic nightmare. The room was empty and I was alone, atop my bed – blanket flung to the floor – and in my sweat soaked pajamas. My heart was doing over a hundred kilometers per hour and threatening to burst out of my ribcage while I could still feel Daddy’s grip on my poor neck and Orubebe’s chilling words in my ears.

The beeping sound that brought me back to reality was not. It was still there, loud and insistent and very real.

It was my phone.

I scrambled off the bed and plucked it off the nightstand. The time was ten minutes past two in the morning and I had another SMS. This time it was three words.

YOU CAN’T HIDE!!!

The whole of Monday was miserable. I had a terrible headache, probably from waking up that suddenly and shortage of sleep as I didn’t shut my eyes again till morning. Throughout the whole day I was moody, distracted and very irritable, like a bear with a boil on its butt0ckz. Even my colleagues noticed and pretty much left me alone in my corner to stew. Susan came around briefly but I just waved her off and turned away when she tried to catch my eye, as I wasn’t in the frame of mind for any stupid playacting. Toyin was back from her mini vacation and she too tried her best to cheer me up during lunch but I just wasn’t in the mood. Even the pictures of her b0s0m she sent to my phone afterwards did little to alter my state of mind. All I wanted was to be left alone, in peace.

The drive home didn’t help matters at all. One stupid Keke Marwa broke my side mirror around Alagomeji in Yaba while trying to prove that his three legged bug was as nimble as a ballet dancer. All the pent up rage of the day welled up inside me and at that moment I really felt like I was going to ‘hulk out’. I drove after the muntula who sped off as if nothing had happened and blocked him into a corner a few meters down the road, jumped out of my still running vehicle, and ran over to his tricycle, reaching for his neck. The dude must have seen the murder in my eyes because he just dived away from me, escaping my closing fingers by inches while screaming “oga no vex” over and over. I was incensed. His passengers joined in trying to placate me while he ran and stood out of reach a couple of feet away still begging for mercy. In my frustration I turned off his engine and yanked his keys out of the ignition, marched angrily back into my car and drove off with it to the bemusement of all watching.

Tuesday was much better although I still wasn’t fully back to my old bubbly self. I had to cover for the stuff I’d left undone the previous day so I got in earlier than usual and got down to work with so much seriousness that I didn’t even break for lunch.

PING!!!

It was Toyin.
I picked up the phone and started chatting.
PONG!!!

[B]DD: Na wa o. Today’s seriousness nor get part 2.

Me: Don’t mind me. I have to clear this backlog from yesterday.

Me: You know the firm is shedding weight. Make dem no go use me do fitfam.

DD: LOL. Ya just crazy.

Me: Abi na. Ezz true o. Eye dey chook around here now o.

DD: Seriously sha, are you okay now? You were so grumpy yesterday.

DD: And you missed lunch too.

Me: At least I’m better. Not fully there yet but I’m definitely on the way.

DD: That’s good. I was kinda worried. What’s the problem sef?

Me: Nothing you can help with babes. I’ll get it sorted out soon though.

DD: Please do. I don’t like you mooning around like a sick puppy.

Me: LOL. Sick puppy indeed.
My intercom rang and I dropped the blackberry, picked up the handset and breathed down the line.

“Hello, IT department here. How may we be of help?”

It was my unit head, she wanted some tapes from the archives downstairs and I had to go get them for her. I dropped the intercom and picked up the Blackberry again.

Me: Sorry babes. Madam wants tapes from the archives and I have to go get them.

Me: Holla when I come back, service down there isn’t too good.

DD: Will you pass by my office on your way down?

Me: Don’t think so. Have to hurry; she’s waiting for me as we speak.

DD: Okay, hurry back.

I put the Blackberry in my drawer and headed for the elevator.

The IT archive is a medium sized storage room just beside the generator house on the ground floor. It has a metal door and no windows with ventilation provided by two standing air conditioners which are always switched on, at least during office hours. The walls are lined with metal cabinets and shelves which hold different computer paraphernalia.

I entered the archive but left the door unlocked since I didn’t plan on staying there for too long and was busy rummaging through the bottom drawer of one of the cabinets when I heard the door suddenly open and quickly close. Turning around to see who it was, there stood Toyin grinning as if she just won a million bucks.

Text didn’t allow me get as expressive as I would have liked but I was pretty sure she got the message clearly. The rest of the day passed in a blur of activity but I didn’t mind the madness, new K!ttyC@t to sample was on the way.

I got home quite early that evening. The security light was on in my neighbor’s compound although the place was quiet. It suddenly occurred to me that the only times she’s greeted me lately were when days Mrs Ayiri showed up. Maybe it was time to start taking evasive action sef, at least to avoid any stories that touch.


Dinner was soaked cassava flakes inundated with roasted peanuts and accompanied by peppered barbequed chicken or in laymen’s language Garri, groundnuts and chicken suya.
Afterwards I stayed up late to watch some episodes of Game of Thrones on my laptop before I went to bed around midnight.

The next morning I called up Susan around 9 a.m. to reconfirm our date and we agreed to meet for some Ice Cream at the Ikeja City Mall. The rest of the morning was spent on chores and a short nap, before I left home around 1 p.m.

The mall was crowded as was usual for a Saturday afternoon which made parking annoyingly difficult. I was finally able to park after driving around the lot for ten minutes but since I arrived ahead of time, it wasn’t really a problem. Window shopping sounded like a good way to pass the time while waiting for Susan to show up so I headed towards the Samsung store to check out their new curved TV which was being advertised all over town . The plan was to buy Susan a tub of ice cream and some other munchies before taking her to one of the numerous hotels in Ikeja to give her some good J0yst!ck. I couldn’t afford to take her to my place as that might have repercussions later when one got tired of the K!ttyC@t. The way she’d been acting lately, I was pretty confident she was game for some bedmatics.

My phone rang at exactly 2.45 p.m., when I was already getting tetchy with waiting.

“Hi Miss Latecomer, about time you showed up too. I thought I’d been stood up. Where are you?”

“I’m right in front of the Coldstone shop sir. You?”

“I’m at the Samsung place but I’ll meet you in a second.”

“Okay sir.”

I quickly left the shop to meet my consignment.
Susan was standing with three other girls.

I didn’t want to believe she had brought follow-comes to what was supposed to be a Bleep date as I hurried over.

“Good afternoon sir. So sorry I came late, traffic was particularly bad at Oshodi.”

“That’s okay Susan, you’re here now. That’s what’s important.”

“Thank you sir. Meet my friends Mimi, Hannah and Sarah.”

Turning to them she introduced me.

“Girls meet my boss.”
They greeted me one by one.

“Is it okay if they join us?”

“Of course it is, absolutely. This way please.”

I was seething behind the smiling mask on my face as I ushered them to a table. Which kain craze be this, how can it be okay? How can somebody be invited on a Bleep date and you bring your friends along. What nonsense
One of the attendants came over and took our orders and soon everyone except me was merrily getting their sugar fix, I barely touched mine. All my good plans for the day looked to be heading for the rocks and I was pissed.

While they ate, I studied them one by one. Mimi was quite outspoken, beautiful even, although she was dressed like one of the late night Muri Okunola sisterhood. Hannah was obviously a ‘chop and quench’ judging by her rate of consumption and how she kept asking for more. No wonder she looked like a baby hippo and her jeans were literally bursting at the seams. Sarah however was conservatively dressed; spoke little although she sounded the most intelligent of the three whenever she did and didn’t seem to be too comfortable with my presence. Susan was acting in a very different manner from the Susan I knew from the office.

We were there till 4 p.m. when she announced that they had to leave, as they were still going to attend a special program taking place at Sarah’s church by 5.30 p.m. and didn’t want to be late.

“Thank you for having us sir”, cooed Mimi, batting her fake lashes. “We’ll hopefully see you again soon.”

“Thanks for coming girls.”

I drove back home in anger and frustration, after a bit of shopping for groceries. Shebi if K!ttyC@t no drop as planned, person go sha return home go chop.

Sunday was another Exco meeting and because the weekend had been so disappointing,
I wasn’t in the mood to attend so an SMS went off to the Chairman explaining that I was indisposed. Dinner was boiled rice and stew made from the stuff I’d picked up at Shoprite the day before and then I turned in for the night not too long afterwards.

Three men stood beside my bed. All dressed in black tee shirts and jeans, the first had a crowbar, the second a baseball bat and the third what looked suspiciously like a pistol. They all wore ski masks with small eyelets and leather gloves, in black too. How they got into my room wasn’t immediately clear but the three of them were standing right there and their body language wasn’t looking as if they’d come to play midnight ten ten with me. The one closest to the bed raised the crowbar in his hand menacingly and hissed at me through the mask material.

“Get up oga, shey na you?”

Sleep cleared from my eyes like magic.

“Sir?”

I could have been a frog the way my voice sounded. He repeated his question, this time swinging the bar menacingly close to my head.

“Oga a-swear, if you no talk true now I go make smoothie with ya brain. Shey na you? Shey na you dey thief another man kpekus? Shey na you dey wack another man ponmo? Shey na you dey drill another man oil well? Talk make I hear!”

My adam’s apple bobbed frantically as I struggled to respond.

“Yes sir, I mean, no sir.”

That only served to infuriate him further.
Signaling to one of his guys he growled, “Dogo abeg come help me hol am for leg.”

The one with the baseball bat rushed forward and dropped his weight on my chest to keep me immobile while Mr gravel voice did a mock swing, the trajectory of the bar ending up on my blokos.

“Hold on Orubebe, calm down. Give me a minute; let him ask him a few questions.”
The somewhat familiar voice of the third man stopped Mr gravel voice from following through his mock swing.

“Okay boss. Oya Dogo, leave am make he talk to boss.”

Dogo stood up, allowing me to draw breath into my starved lungs again. Both of them moved clear of the bed.

The third one designated as boss moved closer and grabbed me by the front of my pajamas, drew me into a sitting position and yanked off his mask.

It was Daddy…“Toyin. What are you doing here?’

[B]“Bringing you a little sunshine man” she replied as she closed in on me and went down on her knees. Next thing I knew, my zipper was open and ‘lil J’ was hanging limp in the frigid air until her warm mouth closed on the shrunken meat and started working its magic, making it grow. Truth be told, a little corner of my mind was worried about the possibility of being caught or of madam unit head getting mad at me because I didn’t bring the tape on time. Majority of my senses however were devoted to decoding the myriad of scintillating s£nsat!ons originating from my J0yst!ck and spiraling all over my body, even to the tip of my toes.

“This is crazy babe, we could get caught.”

Toyin just kept sU-Cking as if her life depended on it, even m0an!ng once in a while as if she was the one being pleasured. As the s£nsat!ons intensified, I grabbed her head and thrust lightly down her throat, careful enough to make sure she didn’t gag. It was crazy poo, my insides getting all warm and tingly while the blast of the cold air from the AC raised goose bumps on my skin. After a while, I could feel myself close to cumming and made to remove my J0yst!ck from her mouth but she refused. Grabbing my bums, she opened her mouth wider and slid me further inside till I was hitting the soft tissue of her throat. I came in seconds and she swallowed every sticky drop. Crazy, awesome poo!

When I was done pulsing, she stood up, brought out a hanky from her skirt pocket and wiped my wet semi hard J0yst!ck dry before pushing it back inside and zipping up my trousers. The she wiped her lips and smiled again at me.

“Now I hope you’re feeling much better.”


Then she turned and scurried back to the door, opened it a crack and peeped out to see if the coast was clear then turned back and gave me a little wave before she slipped out.

“What took you so long?”

“Sorry ma, the tapes were not labeled accordingly and I had to sort them before I saw the ones you wanted.”

“And who was supposed to label them, me? Just drop them and go.”


I did just that.

Back at my desk, I brought out my blackberry and pinged Toyin.

Me: You really are awesome you know?

DD: Waawu! Thank you for the compliment sir.

DD: Better now?

Me: You bet, absolutely.

DD: Good. Now get back to work.

DD: Don’t forget to smile…

I almost burst into loud laughter.