Must Read: Honorable Secretary (18+)

Episode 6 years ago

Must Read: Honorable Secretary (18+)

Text didn’t allow me get as expressive as I would have liked but I was pretty sure she got the message clearly. The rest of the day passed in a blur of activity but I didn’t mind the madness, new K!ttyC@t to sample was on the way.

I got home quite early that evening. The security light was on in my neighbor’s compound although the place was quiet. It suddenly occurred to me that the only times she’s greeted me lately were when days Mrs Ayiri showed up. Maybe it was time to start taking evasive action sef, at least to avoid any stories that touch.


Dinner was soaked cassava flakes inundated with roasted peanuts and accompanied by peppered barbequed chicken or in laymen’s language Garri, groundnuts and chicken suya.
Afterwards I stayed up late to watch some episodes of Game of Thrones on my laptop before I went to bed around midnight.

The next morning I called up Susan around 9 a.m. to reconfirm our date and we agreed to meet for some Ice Cream at the Ikeja City Mall. The rest of the morning was spent on chores and a short nap, before I left home around 1 p.m.

The mall was crowded as was usual for a Saturday afternoon which made parking annoyingly difficult. I was finally able to park after driving around the lot for ten minutes but since I arrived ahead of time, it wasn’t really a problem. Window shopping sounded like a good way to pass the time while waiting for Susan to show up so I headed towards the Samsung store to check out their new curved TV which was being advertised all over town . The plan was to buy Susan a tub of ice cream and some other munchies before taking her to one of the numerous hotels in Ikeja to give her some good J0yst!ck. I couldn’t afford to take her to my place as that might have repercussions later when one got tired of the K!ttyC@t. The way she’d been acting lately, I was pretty confident she was game for some bedmatics.

My phone rang at exactly 2.45 p.m., when I was already getting tetchy with waiting.

“Hi Miss Latecomer, about time you showed up too. I thought I’d been stood up. Where are you?”

“I’m right in front of the Coldstone shop sir. You?”

“I’m at the Samsung place but I’ll meet you in a second.”

“Okay sir.”

I quickly left the shop to meet my consignment.
Susan was standing with three other girls.

I didn’t want to believe she had brought follow-comes to what was supposed to be a Bleep date as I hurried over.

“Good afternoon sir. So sorry I came late, traffic was particularly bad at Oshodi.”

“That’s okay Susan, you’re here now. That’s what’s important.”

“Thank you sir. Meet my friends Mimi, Hannah and Sarah.”

Turning to them she introduced me.

“Girls meet my boss.”
They greeted me one by one.

“Is it okay if they join us?”

“Of course it is, absolutely. This way please.”

I was seething behind the smiling mask on my face as I ushered them to a table. Which kain craze be this, how can it be okay? How can somebody be invited on a Bleep date and you bring your friends along. What nonsense
One of the attendants came over and took our orders and soon everyone except me was merrily getting their sugar fix, I barely touched mine. All my good plans for the day looked to be heading for the rocks and I was pissed.

While they ate, I studied them one by one. Mimi was quite outspoken, beautiful even, although she was dressed like one of the late night Muri Okunola sisterhood. Hannah was obviously a ‘chop and quench’ judging by her rate of consumption and how she kept asking for more. No wonder she looked like a baby hippo and her jeans were literally bursting at the seams. Sarah however was conservatively dressed; spoke little although she sounded the most intelligent of the three whenever she did and didn’t seem to be too comfortable with my presence. Susan was acting in a very different manner from the Susan I knew from the office.

We were there till 4 p.m. when she announced that they had to leave, as they were still going to attend a special program taking place at Sarah’s church by 5.30 p.m. and didn’t want to be late.

“Thank you for having us sir”, cooed Mimi, batting her fake lashes. “We’ll hopefully see you again soon.”

“Thanks for coming girls.”

I drove back home in anger and frustration, after a bit of shopping for groceries. Shebi if K!ttyC@t no drop as planned, person go sha return home go chop.

Sunday was another Exco meeting and because the weekend had been so disappointing,
I wasn’t in the mood to attend so an SMS went off to the Chairman explaining that I was indisposed. Dinner was boiled rice and stew made from the stuff I’d picked up at Shoprite the day before and then I turned in for the night not too long afterwards.

Three men stood beside my bed. All dressed in black tee shirts and jeans, the first had a crowbar, the second a baseball bat and the third what looked suspiciously like a pistol. They all wore ski masks with small eyelets and leather gloves, in black too. How they got into my room wasn’t immediately clear but the three of them were standing right there and their body language wasn’t looking as if they’d come to play midnight ten ten with me. The one closest to the bed raised the crowbar in his hand menacingly and hissed at me through the mask material.

“Get up oga, shey na you?”

Sleep cleared from my eyes like magic.

“Sir?”

I could have been a frog the way my voice sounded. He repeated his question, this time swinging the bar menacingly close to my head.

“Oga a-swear, if you no talk true now I go make smoothie with ya brain. Shey na you? Shey na you dey thief another man kpekus? Shey na you dey wack another man ponmo? Shey na you dey drill another man oil well? Talk make I hear!”

My adam’s apple bobbed frantically as I struggled to respond.

“Yes sir, I mean, no sir.”

That only served to infuriate him further.
Signaling to one of his guys he growled, “Dogo abeg come help me hol am for leg.”

The one with the baseball bat rushed forward and dropped his weight on my chest to keep me immobile while Mr gravel voice did a mock swing, the trajectory of the bar ending up on my blokos.

“Hold on Orubebe, calm down. Give me a minute; let him ask him a few questions.”
The somewhat familiar voice of the third man stopped Mr gravel voice from following through his mock swing.

“Okay boss. Oya Dogo, leave am make he talk to boss.”

Dogo stood up, allowing me to draw breath into my starved lungs again. Both of them moved clear of the bed.

The third one designated as boss moved closer and grabbed me by the front of my pajamas, drew me into a sitting position and yanked off his mask.

It was Daddy…