Oh Brother - Season 1 - Episode 34

5 years ago

Oh Brother - Season 1 - Episode 34

My eyes began to tear up again as I looked away from Dee. I didn’t want people finding us disgusting. I didn’t want anyone thinking that of Christian. Even if I could ignore how disgusting it was to like him, everyone else would not ignore it. We would become outcasts.

“Autumn,” Dee said gently. “No one even knows you guys are step-siblings. Even the people who do wouldn’t judge.”
“What about our parents?” I grumbled.
“Your parents would understand.” Her eyes softened. “You guys are their children.”
I laughed bitterly. “My mom would think I’m some demon who made Christian fall for his own sister. I would get disowned.”
Dee’s eyes widened. “Who gave you all these crazy ideas?”
“Nate.”
“Ugh, him.” Dee rolled her eyes. “He’s just mad because you rejected him.”
“That doesn’t mean his words aren’t true…”
“Autumn!” Dee suddenly exclaimed. “Christian makes you happy. He probably likes you back and you’re letting yourself despair over a stupid word. Isn’t being happy the most important thing in life? Ignore everything else and be that.”
“I can’t, Dee,” I groaned. “Incest. That’s so wrong.”
“It is, but your situation is not incest. Tell me one situation where you seriously felt like what you were doing was incest.”
My mind flew to the party and I found my face heating up. My mind had been screaming incest, but my heart really wanted to kiss Christian back. I had wanted to know his lips so freaking badly. If it weren’t for Nate, I probably would’ve kissed him. Just like at the lockers, I would have just felt like I was kissing the boy I really liked.
“Have you guys kissed?” Dee suddenly asked.

My face turned even more red as I sighed. “Kind of. He kissed me and I didn’t kiss him back. I couldn’t with the though of incest.”

“You probably broke his heart.” Dee’s eyes widened with horror. “Do you guys talk anymore?”

“Yeah, he was drunk so he doesn’t remember anything.” I smiled sadly. “He was wasted, so I know that’s why he even kissed me.”

Dee raised an eyebrow and I looked away. The one thing that left me also conflicted was how Christian may feel about me. He kissed me, but he was drunk. But then again, he had put his lips on me before when he was sober. A part of me wondered if he did like me back, but I also knew things would be so much more complicated if he did.

“Autumn,” Dee said softly. “I don’t know how I can help you. You seem intent on this incest thing.”
I frowned at her, wondering why she was the one giving up. It was I with the huge problem. I, who needed her counselling. Her giving up destroyed my last ounce of hope.

“But do one thing for me,” she continued on. “The next time you guys share a moment, be selfish. Don’t think about anything except him, and follow your heart. If it really feels wrong to you then you’ll know he’s not the one. You’ll know you have to move on. Okay?”

I nodded, even though what she said was something I couldn’t do. With my brain filled with thoughts of incest, I didn’t know if I could follow my heart. The kiss had been something my heart wanted, but I had listened to my brain. Deep down I knew I wouldn’t get my closure because of that.
Wanting to change the subject, I said, “I’m always selfish.”
I forced a smile, but Dee frowned. “No you aren’t. You try to be, but you care too much about everything.”

And with those words, I began to cry again. It was like Niagara Falls, which reminded me of what Christian said. I was strong. Even if there were many obstacles, I knew I could get through this. I knew I would make it. As tears steamed down my face and Dee hugged me, I smiled as I realized Christian had given me hope of getting over him. How ironic.
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