Oh Brother - Season 1 - Episode 33

Episode 5 years ago

Oh Brother - Season 1 - Episode 33

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Continues..

I woke up twenty minute ago, but I stayed lying on the ground of my room, staring up at the ceiling. My heart still felt heavy from yesterday, even though this should have been the closure I needed. I told him why we couldn’t be together and my brain seemed to agree with me, but that didn’t seem to help with my aching heart.
I groaned as I realized I was becoming such a lovestruck girl. A girl who had heartache over one guy. One guy she knew would only hurt her if she continued to fall for him. But even knowing that, I knew this was different. That I wasn’t one of those girls because Christian was worth fighting for. It was just one stupid word that was stopping us from happening.
“Why are you on the floor?”
My eyes flew up to my bed, to where Christian was sitting up on. He looked confused, but more tired as he stared at me.
“You kind of stole my bed,” I replied casually, sitting up as I stretched.
From his confused face and ability to talk to me, I knew he didn’t remember what happened yesterday. He had been too drunk it seemed, which was a blessing now. I didn’t think I would have been able to face him if he remembered.
“From my headache I’m guessing I was drunk.” He frowned as he touched his head, but a small smile fought its way to his lips. “And I’m guessing you took care of me.”
I shrugged, wanting him to leave my room. “Kind of. Well, we just hung out here for a bit. You fell asleep after.”
His smile grew. “Well, thanks.”
I shrugged, not knowing why he was so happy. It wasn’t like I saved his life. Glancing at him, I was glad to see him packing up my present and opening the door.


“Let’s hang out again later.” He smiled. “Okay?”
“Okay,” I replied quietly, even though I didn’t want to.
The door soon closed and I sighed in relief. Now I could officially drown in sadness because Christian could never be mine. His stupid, drunk kiss gave me hope that we could be something more, but the word incest told me otherwise. Suddenly, my life was becoming overwhelming.
*****
“We’re going to Niagara Falls,” my mom announced, catching me off guard.
Stephen smiled and planted a kiss on my mom’s head. She smiled at him and I rolled my eyes, slightly annoyed by the fact that they made up – probably from their day together. I couldn’t believe it. My cruel mom had everything she wanted in life and I had nothing. I wondered what I ever did to deserve this.
“We are?” Christian asked, frowning.
“Yeah, for your birthday.” My mom smiled. “We didn’t get to do anything as a family, so we might as well now.”
At that, I huffed. I knew for my birthday I would be getting nothing from her. Not even a birthday wish. I smiled bitterly to myself, suddenly feeling sorry for myself. Everything s----d and I just wanted to hole up in my room. Too bad I had this trip now.


Seeing that nobody would say anything, my mom said, “Guys, get ready. We’re not staying overnight so no need to pack, let’s just go.”
I turned around and left at that, glad to be able to brood on my own. Even for a bit, every second away from these people was beneficial.
*****
I stared at the enormous waterfall with amazement. It wasn’t the first time I had been here, but I was still amazed by its beauty. It was huge and incredible. That was all I could think about right now, which was the perfect distraction.
“Autumn,” Christian suddenly said, snapping me out of my amazement.
I froze in my spot, shocked that he was right beside me. With my arms gripping onto the rails that kept people away from the natural wonder, I fought the urge to run off. I wasn’t in the mood to see him now – or ever.
“Yeah,” I said, keeping my eyes on the waterfall.
“What’s wrong?” I could hear the concern in his voice, which made it more painful to be next to him. “Why do you look so upset?”
“I’m not upset,” I lied quickly, ignoring the yearning I had for him.
He cared about me and he was such a good guy. Such an incredible guy even, who could deal with my baggage. All those factors made it so hard to forget about him.
“Liar.” He moved closer to me. “You can tell me. I thought we were close now.”
“We are,” I said, finally looking at him. “I’m just so tired.”
“Tired of what?” he prodded gently.
His eyes softened up and I knew I couldn’t hold back anymore. Not my affection for him, but genuinely what I was so tired of. Even though the memory of yesterday was fresh in my mind, it didn’t mean I would let it destroy what we had.


“Everything,” I admitted. “Just… Everything.”
He sighed lightly at that and looked away. I frowned as I watched him stare at the waterfall, unsure of why he suddenly looked tired as well. Wasn’t he supposed to be helping me?
“You know, you remind me of Niagara Falls,” he suddenly said, still staring at the waterfall.
I frowned at that. “Um, are you trying to call me fat?”
“No! Of course not.” He chuckled lightly. “I mean, you’re strong. Just like its currents, you can knock down the obstacles in life.
Something in me softened up. The one thing I wanted him to see me as was exactly that. Strong. Not delicate. Not weak. But simply strong. I wanted to be that girl who could handle anything, which was what I hoped I was.
“You think I’m strong?” I asked, wanting him to say it again for reassurance.
“For sure.” He smiled at me. “Look at you. You’re still full of life, even when your own mom won’t talk to you. Even when you’re forced to make a family out of two strangers, you still keep pushing through life. I don’t blame you for being tired because others would of lost their minds in your shoes.”
I smiled, even though I knew I did lose my mind. Over him though, which was what we weren’t talking about right now. What we were talking about was life and family, something he had to be strong about too.
“You’re strong too,” I said, grinning at him. “You had to deal with what I had to, and someone like me. Being around me alone should have had you checking into an mental institution.”
He laughed and the sound gave me a warm feeling. He was nineteen, yet his laugh was so childish. Almost high, which would’ve been a turn off to most girls. Not to me, though. I loved his laugh.


“Well, you actually kept me sane through everything.” He grinned. “So thank you.”
My eyes softened as I suddenly wanted to hug him. With his thank you from yesterday as well, I really wanted to embrace him. I knew that was something siblings could do, but it still felt wrong. Anything related to touching Christian would make my brain scream incest, I knew by now. I sighed quietly at that, but smiled anyways.
“Thank you,” I said. “I’m sorry I was such an a-----e to you before. But thank you so much for not giving up on me.”
He smiled and shrugged. “Hey, it’s not everyday you meet a girl who hates you for being perfect.”
I laughed and rolled my eyes. My heart felt light as we continued to talk. Even though I wished for more, I was satisfied with this. Satisfied with just having him here as my stepbrother. It was all I could get from him, and I knew I could live with it. Just being at his side was okay.
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I smiled as Christian placed his lips on my forehead, kissing it lightly. He smiled as I grabbed his arms tightly, and looked at me. With his large smile, I couldn’t help but grin as I suddenly hugged him. This was what we were meant to be. Not siblings. Not friends. But so much more.


Then locking his eyes on mine, he moved his face closer to mine. I sighed quietly as I parted my lips and closed off our distance, kissing him. Kissing him the way I wanted to for so long. With our lips moving in sync, everything felt right. Everything felt the way it was supposed to be.
That was when I woke up. With my body alert, I sat up quickly and gasped. Placing a hand over my heart, I realized I hadn’t been with Christian. Not like that – ever. It was just a stupid dream, an illusion of what I wanted. Suddenly, I felt upset.
In my dream it had felt so right. Being with him made perfect sense. In fact, it would have been the only thing to have made sense in my corrupted life. But it had been a dream and incest existed in reality. With that, there was no way my dream could become reality.

I didn’t know why my dream got to me, but I was now clutching my hair in frustration. One part of me wanted to scream, another wanted to let go of him, and another wanted to cry. For once I felt like I was leaning towards the crying side, which was frustrating. I couldn’t bare to cry over a guy. No matter how incredible he was, I just couldn’t.



I got up at that, knowing I’d be a fool to go back to sleep after a dream like that. There was no way I’d go back to that world I wanted because I needed to forget about Christian. I needed to move on, because we could only be step-siblings. My heart needed to learn that.


Pacing around my room, I wondered what was stopping me from moving on. I had learned about incest, told myself to forget him, and even rejected him. There was something stopping me from getting my closure, and suddenly an idea popped into my mind. The one thing I hadn’t done was tell someone about my feelings. I had been holding it in all this time, which made me realize I needed to visit my best friend.

*****

The door to Dee’s house soon flew open and Dee smiled. But as her eyes landed on my own, her smile fell. Suddenly, she looked concerned.


“What’s wrong?” she asked.
For some reason, I began to cry at those words. Something inside me snapped, and I was suddenly like a waterfall as I began to sob in front of Dee. Her eyes widened, but she hugged me.

“Hey,” she said gently. “Let’s go inside and talk.”
I nodded and she gently pushed me inside. Still keeping an arm around me, she then brought me upstairs and into her room. Tears were streaming down my face the entire way, but I found myself oddly relieved. I guess because I had been holding everything in for so long.


Once in her room, she sat me down on her pink bed. I wiped my tears away as she sat next to me, knowing I needed to confess to her. I needed to tell her that I liked Christian when I shouldn’t. My stomach twisted, knowing this would be a painful conversation.
“Autumn,” Dee said as I finally looked at her eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“I like Christian,” I said, letting myself become an open book. “That’s what’s wrong.”


“You finally admitted it.” Dee’s eyes softened.


I frowned. “How did you know I like him?”
“It’s obvious from the way you guys look at each other.” Dee shook her head and smiled. “Why do you think I backed off from him? When you two danced together you guys looked really happy. There was no way I’d come between that.”
I frowned at that. Back then, I had no idea I had feelings for Christian. But then again, I felt like I had always liked Christian. And that was why I pushed him away in the past. It wasn’t that I ever hated him, but I was scared of my feelings for him.


Seeing that I wouldn’t say anything, Dee said, “So, what’s the problem with liking Christian? You guys are perfect for each other.”
“Incest,” I muttered. “My feelings for him are a taboo. It’s disgusting and everyone would hate us if we got together.”

Dee frowned. “You guys aren’t related by blood. There’s no incest.”

“But everyone views us as siblings!” I exclaimed, feeling frustrated with myself. “My feelings are so wrong.”
My eyes began to tear up again as I looked away from Dee. I didn’t want people finding us disgusting. I didn’t want anyone thinking that of Christian. Even if I could ignore how disgusting it was to like him, everyone else would not ignore it. We would become outcasts.


“Autumn,” Dee said gently. “No one even knows you guys are step-siblings. Even the people who do wouldn’t judge.”
“What about our parents?” I grumbled.
“Your parents would understand.” Her eyes softened. “You guys are their children.”


I laughed bitterly. “My mom would think I’m some demon who made Christian fall for his own sister. I would get disowned.”
Dee’s eyes widened. “Who gave you all these crazy ideas?”
“Nate.”
“Ugh, him.” Dee rolled her eyes. “He’s just mad because you rejected him.”
“That doesn’t mean his words aren’t true…”
“Autumn!” Dee suddenly exclaimed. “Christian makes you happy. He probably likes you back and you’re letting yourself despair over a stupid word. Isn’t being happy the most important thing in life? Ignore everything else and be that.”
“I can’t, Dee,” I groaned. “Incest. That’s so wrong.”
“It is, but your situation is not incest. Tell me one situation where you seriously felt like what you were doing was incest.”


My mind flew to the party and I found my face heating up. My mind had been screaming incest, but my heart really wanted to kiss Christian back. I had wanted to know his lips so freaking badly. If it weren’t for Nate, I probably would’ve kissed him. Just like at the lockers, I would have just felt like I was kissing the boy I really liked.

“Have you guys kissed?” Dee suddenly asked.


My face turned even more red as I sighed. “Kind of. He kissed me and I didn’t kiss him back. I couldn’t with the though of incest.”

“You probably broke his heart.” Dee’s eyes widened with horror. “Do you guys talk anymore?”


“Yeah, he was drunk so he doesn’t remember anything.” I smiled sadly. “He was wasted, so I know that’s why he even kissed me.”


Dee raised an eyebrow and I looked away. The one thing that left me also conflicted was how Christian may feel about me. He kissed me, but he was drunk. But then again, he had put his lips on me before when he was sober. A part of me wondered if he did like me back, but I also knew things would be so much more complicated if he did.
“Autumn,” Dee said softly. “I don’t know how I can help you. You seem intent on this incest thing.”
I frowned at her, wondering why she was the one giving up. It was I with the huge problem. I, who needed her counselling. Her giving up destroyed my last ounce of hope.
“But do one thing for me,” she continued on. “The next time you guys share a moment, be selfish. Don’t think about anything except him, and follow your heart. If it really feels wrong to you then you’ll know he’s not the one. You’ll know you have to move on. Okay?”
I nodded, even though what she said was something I couldn’t do. With my brain filled with thoughts of incest, I didn’t know if I could follow my heart. The kiss had been something my heart wanted, but I had listened to my brain. Deep down I knew I wouldn’t get my closure because of that.
Wanting to change the subject, I said, “I’m always selfish.”
I forced a smile, but Dee frowned. “No you aren’t. You try to be, but you care too much about everything.”


And with those words, I began to cry again. It was like Niagara Falls, which reminded me of what Christian said. I was strong. Even if there were many obstacles, I knew I could get through this. I knew I would make it. As tears steamed down my face and Dee hugged me, I smiled as I realized Christian had given me hope of getting over him. How ironic.
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