Lust Next Door - S01 E67

Story 4 months ago

Lust Next Door - S01 E67

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 67

________________

Serena loved him.

Sitting in the busy locker room, it was filled with noise. The sound of men dressing in padding and uniforms, covered blades stepping into the soft rubber flooring, and the drowned-out thundering of fans in the stands waiting eagerly for this game to begin.

All of this surrounded Connor, and yet the only thing he could manage to hear was the formation of Serena's lips saying those three little words. It filled his head with a symphony of warmth and confusion all at once.

He had gone over to her place yesterday, desperately hoping to hear those words come out of her mouth. He searched her face endlessly for the love she professed on the phone, hoping to find that adoration in the fine lines on her face. But he was almost sure that was all gone now.

They had both plunged daggers deep into the other and drained all that love out.

Before Connor could ponder on it anymore, Coach Stetson walked into the room, and his booming voice snapped him back into game mode.

He didn't have time to think about the video, question what was real. He needed to push all of it to the furthest corner of his mind; he refused to ruin this game. The one that mattered. He owed it to himself and his team to give them everything tonight on the ice.

"Alright, I want everyone's attention as I go over plays. The wolves are walking away with that Stanley Cup this year, and I won't accept anything less." He boomed and walked over to the large whiteboard. He went over plays with their tactics and discussed the weaknesses of The Bullet's star players as the team geared up.

It was nice to focus on Hockey completely. Regardless of what he heard in the Video, Connor felt somewhat at peace. He did everything he could for her despite the acquisition she threw at him. All that he could afford to lose, he had lost. He wasn't going to lose anymore.

Even if Serena did still love him, she hadn't told him. It felt wrong to hear it through a video that was stolen from her, recorded against her will. He wasn't going to sit around while she hid from the world, from him, and from herself.

His chest felt like cinder blocks were being piled on top. He could feel the excruciating ripping as he tore Serena out of his mind. It didn't feel right or natural, but he knew that's what he needed to do to move on from this.

Connor breathed in a solid breath and closed his eyes, forcing the sound of her voice on those three letters out of his mind as the coach ended his pregame speech.

He walked past Connor and cleared his throat, making him look up at him, "Deluca. I need to know I can rely on you tonight. I need to know you're here to win. There can be no distractions."

For the first time since Connor knew Coach Stetson, his words held concern and the sheer weight of tonight's importance.

Connor gave him a firm nod, "No distractions, Coach." He flipped the switch in his head, shut off his heart, and focused on the one thing he knew he did best. Hockey. He promised Honey that he would win for her this morning since he broke their first promise. He would make good on this one.

Coach seemed satisfied with his answer. He returned his nod and gave him a hearty pat on his shoulder before leaving the locker room.

As Connor laced up his skates and the roaring from the announcers and fans outside grew louder, Josh moved next to him on the bench. He knocked his stick on Connor's helmet, "Probably not a good time to ask, but how are things with Serena?"

Connor just shrugged, ignoring how his whole body lit aflame at mentioning her name, "It's done." He kept his face level as he looked into Josh's unconvinced expression.

He decided against saying anything more, "Ready?"

Connor looked over at his best friend and smiled. This would be their first cup won together. "I'm ready."

"Let's go get some Texas ass then." Josh returned the smile and bumped gloves with him before he walked away.

The rest of the team got suited up just as the announcers got ready to call all the players onto the ice. They started with the away team, giving them a brief introduction that a select yellow section of the stadium rose and went crazy cheering for.

Connor stood in a line in the tunnel, staring out into the ice, trying to feel the spark he always felt for this. And as much as she tried and searched for that roaring pleasure he got from this, it wasn't there. Something was missing, hallowed out in his chest.

The announcer's started the introduction for the Wolves, the whole stadium vibrating with the loud cheers coming from the fans. His eyes glanced over at the empty section where Serena usually sat, and the spot where that spark usually spurred was filled with a dull ache.

He squeezed his hands around his stick, blowing a breath past the cage of his helmet as the announcers called his name first.

The second his skate made contact with the ice and he pushed himself forward into the spotlight, he made sure to silence every pain in his heart. He plastered a smile on his face while the jumbotron displayed it for everyone to see the finest details of his expression. He held his stick up in the air and waved to the fans. It made them cheer louder while he finished his lap around the rink, and the next player on the wolves was called.

Once everyone was out on the ice, they went right into the small warm-up before the game. Connor was laser focused on his shots, ignoring every sound and pointless thought in his head as he focused on the task at hand.

His shots were lighting quick and accurate. He was reacting fast and moving with purpose on the cool ice. He could even ignore Liam's piercing glare and the other team's taunts. Nothing could stop him.

He slammed his stick into the ice and snipped a shot past their goalie.

The practice period ended, and it was time for the actual game to start.

Connor was starting the first face-off. He moved to the center circle and leveled himself low to the ground. The taunts coming from the player clad in yellow completely silenced inside his mind as he focused on the puck. The second it dropped, he had it.

The timer was going now.

______________

Serena had (against better judgment) put on the hockey channel. Melody and her brain had advised against it, reasoning that seeing him would only succeed in making her upset.

But all day, she had dutifully eyed the clock, silently counting down the minutes and hours as she prepared for her first public book signing tomorrow. She couldn't seem to get him off her mind, no matter how much it hurt. She tried telling herself to be done. He didn't want a thing to do with her anymore. But something felt unfinished; some part of them was itching to be scratched before she could lay her burning love for him to rest.

When she heard Connor's sports car leave his driveway, she knew that the game of his career would start in one fleeting hour.

She had to watch it and hope that despite the pain she had put him through, he would win.

She glued herself to the sofa and watched as he came onto the screen. Seeing Connor's killer smile in high definition wasn't the same as feeling it pressed against her lips.

Melody was right; this hurt.

She was wrapped up in an oversized hoodie, and she pulled the fabric of the large shirt over her legs as she pulled her knees to her chest. Serena could get through this game.

She watched it on the edge of her sofa as both teams fought helplessly for the lead spot. Connor scored the first goal in the first period, putting them ahead. The bullets, however, didn't let that shake them. They almost immediately followed up the goal by scoring on the Wolves, putting them in a tie at the end.

Serena winced and leaned back into the sofa, whispering silent encouragements under her breath as she watched. Mayo was watching, too, perched next to her on the sofa making small biscuits into the blanket.

The second period started, and Serena was a mess of nerves. And to top off all of her anxious watching, she felt a silent incessant tug at her heartstrings. A small voice in the back of her head whispered, telling her to go and do something. She wasn't sure what that was, but the feeling it encapsulated Serena made her feel restless.

This period was much more physical as the tension on the ice rose, and two fights broke out between the players. Luckily not Connor. He was playing like there wasn't anyone on the ice but him. Both of those fights landed with a penalty against the wolves. It knocked them down a player. This cost them; the Bullets took advantage of the wounded team and scored on them twice. It made the score by the end of the second period three to one.

Serena thought about how Connor looked at the start of this game, compared to the fire and passion that was lit behind his brown hues every time he stepped onto the ice before. It wasn't there anymore. Serena felt that small nag at her heart like a full-blown punch now.

The camera zoomed in on Connor as he went to exit the rink; his face was shallow and dark, and she could see the defeat written across his face before the game was even done.

Her hands anxiously twisted the hoodie she was wearing in her hands, her heart beating fast as she felt the words she knew she should have said to him so long ago bursting at the seams of her lips. She wanted to grab his face in her hands, breathe those words into his lips, and tell him to fight for this.

Tell Connor she loves him. Finally, it clicked what the incessant itch in her heart was calling her to do. She needed to tell him, if not for herself, then for Connor. She knew that was what he was looking for in her the other day, and he didn't think he saw it. He would've been right, too; her fear had buried it so deep that she could barely recognize how her heart called for him. She needed to prove that this fear she wasted so much of her life to did not have the power she thought it did over her.

And as it all dawned on her, she realized with a racing heart that she only had fifteen minutes before the final period started to tell him.

She jumped off of the couch and nearly tripped on the blanket as she ran to the door. She yanked her keys off the hook and barreled for her shitty Volkswagon.

•

Serena was halfway certain god was trying to keep her from making a fool of herself.

She could see the shining lights from the Arena just down the road when her car popped and made a horrible noise, followed by a stream of gray smoke streaming out of her hood.

"No, why are you choosing to die right now!" She watched lights and codes pop up, making her heart swell with panic as she looked between her slowing-down car and the flashing lights in the distance. She could see the building coming into view now.

She mumbled out a string of curses and pulled it off on the side of the road.

Staring at the smoking hood, Serena weighed her options.

Call roadside assistance, abandon this crazy plan, and move on with her life (with a new car.)

Or, she could get out of her car and book it the rest of the way to the stadium. She was probably going to get sweaty and out of breath by the time she reached Connor.

She was running out of time, and every second she spent gripping her steering wheel and pondering was another second wasted.

Her heart made the decision for her.

Serena grabbed her bag from the passenger seat and pushed on her hazard lights. She was so grateful she decided to wear her beat-up Converse and not some gorgeous outfit to blow the skates off of him. The all-stars made for much better sprinting, and sprint she did.

She took off down the road, ignoring the crazy looks she was getting from cars driving past. A car full of teenage boys rode past, honking. One even yelled something out the window.

Serena was on a mission, though. She just flipped the bird to the car as it drove away from her, holding the gesture till she couldn't see the car any longer.

She was almost to the stadium now and realized she didn't have a ticket as she approached the gates. She cursed and dug through her bag for her wallet. She usually carried a gross amount of cash on her. Her anxiety brain told her she would need it, and today was the day she would.

She approached one of the scalpers trying to sell tickets at the door. she shoved about four hundred at him, "Just give me a ticket."

He stared down at the cash with wide eyes, opening his mouth as if he didn't know what to say. Clearly, she was overpaying, but Serena didn't care.

He took the money as a 'thanks sucker' smile took over his lips, "There ya go."

Serena snatched the ticket from him and got through the doors. Once she was inside, she recognized the layout as the one she and Melody had gone to (that seemed like lifetimes ago now.)

Serena looked left and right before booking it down one of the staff hallways. She did her best to avoid anyone, ducking behind hallways and into closets when she saw someone wearing the stadium's official uniform.

She heard the announcers welcome back the audience through the thick concrete walls. Serena was running out of time.

She jogged down the hallway when she spied a large opening and heard the sounds of the crowd more clearly through the large entrance. She caught sight of blue and white jerseys and a hoard of staff and security watching over the team as they got ready to get back on the ice.

She took a much-needed deep breath. She had made it, at the very least.

One of the security guards caught sight of her as she approached the team, his face hardening into a glare.

"Hey! You can't be down here!" The burly-looking man motioned to another guard, both of them now in motion toward Serena.

But as their bodies moved, she saw the flash of a familiar number, and as his head turned towards the commotion, she was sure. Connor's prominent brown hues widened as they locked with hers. His face softened from the intense, focused expression that hardened it, falling into a breathless shock as it took in her winded state.

"Connor!" She called as the men crowded around her. All she could do was hope and pray he didn't let them drag her off. But as their aggressive hands grabbed her biceps, she lost hope. She winced, her eyes shut as they turned her away, shoving her back down the hallway.

She bit back the lump in her throat, refusing to let herself cry, but even despite herself, she felt water gathering in the corners. She knew she would come here and embarrass herself.

Connor had told Serena he wanted nothing more to do with her, and he meant that. Clearly.

"Let her go!" Connor's protective voice echoed through the hall and made her eyes shoot open. She whipped a look over her shoulder and saw him pushing his way through his team and the staff. His helmet was off, tucked under his arm, and Serena wasn't sure she could handle the attraction rolling off him as his hair fell around his forehead in wet waves.

"She's with me." His eyes narrowed into daggers at the security men, his voice booming once again.

They got the message this time, letting go of her tentatively before returning to their stands by the team.

Connor walked up to her, his large mass towering over her petite frame even more due to the skates he was walking on. His wild eyes were searching her face, desperately trying to figure out what was going on.

"Connor, I know this timing is awful-"

He let out a sharp laugh, "Awful? It's actually the worst possible time. I am about to walk out on the ice, and if you came all this to psyche me out, it's working."

Serena felt her heart hammering against her chest, desperately trying to get the right words out to melt away his scorn.

She raised both her hands in defense, shaking her head, "That is the exact opposite of my reasons for being here. I-I just wanted to apologize about everything. My hand in this mess was so much heavier than yours."

She could see the edges in his face every so carefully starting to soften, but his eyes held a significant curiosity to them. Searching and searching for something expectantly.

The more she heard the words in her head as they got ready to leave her lips, the more her whole body shook with fear. Her tears burned, and her throat tried desperately to choke her up, but regardless of all the discomfort, Serena wanted to keep going.

"I'm not really interested in apologies, Serena. I told you that. From the moment we met, we have been full of mistakes followed by apologies. I don't see the point in continuing it anymore."

"There is a point, Connor." Serena felt tears fill her vision, and her hands shot up immediately to wipe them away. "I didn't know it then, but there always was a point to it. I convinced myself I despised you, hated the ground you walked on, and that all the stupid jokes you thought were hilarious were the worst part of my life in Citrus Grove."

She could tell she needed to get to the point, his face fell into a large frown, and his arms crossed over his broad chest. Not to mention the rest of his team was already in the stadium waiting for now, for him.

"If this is your way of apologizing, I don't really want any part of it shortcake." He went to turn around, but Serena grabbed hold of his jersey and pulled him back to her.

She felt a spark of hope in her chest when she felt his weight give, and he allowed himself to be pulled by her. He was inches from her now, looking down into her face, and the proximity after so long apart left them both nearly breathless. Connor was quiet and patient and watched her so closely.

"I didn't realize that I started living for all of it: all the teasing, the dumb flirts, your annoying jokes. I-I loved every one of them because I knew it was an excuse to be near you, to see you, talk to you." Hot streaks of tears gently descended her face, but she kept going. She held her hand meekly clutched around his jersey. Serena was terrified to stop now, afraid of his responses.

So she just kept going, the floodgates of her heart now opened.

"Connor, I can't even express how sorry I am about how I reacted." She had to reach up and wipe the flow of tears as holding his ever-unchanging gaze became a terrifying game.

"I am used to getting hurt. I was brought up by people who didn't honestly care about me. My parents never loved me. Peter's love left me broken. Where ordinary people's defense system was a gun, mine was equipped with massive bazookas. So when you got close to me, closer than I've let anyone in years, you're right, I got scared. When things got rocky, my heart panicked, and I tried desperately to push you away. But I'm done being scared. I'm done hiding. I'm not letting fear instilled in me by awful people continue to hurt me...and you-"

Connor's face softened, his mouth fell open with a strained breath, and the look in his shattered hues seemed to slowly piece back together with warmth.

"Connor!" They had been so wrapped in each other and the moment that neither of them realized the Coach had walked up behind them. The older, cranky-looking man grabbed the neck of his jersey and pulled him back toward the rink's entrance.

"You need to be on the ice now."

Connor looked between her and the coach before speaking again in the velvet husk of his voice, "Right, coming."

Serena watched as Connor was practically dragged away, still feeling the large lump of that three-letter phrase needing to be freed from her. He drew more space between them with every step away, creating more doubt and anxious hesitation about those three words.

Serena had this grand fantastical plan she drew up in her mind on the way here. She would get to the stadium and have all the time to pour the love in her heart out to him. She was an author, carefully curating words in a beautiful symphony of poetry was what she did.

But this was real life. And standing here watching him about to leave without hearing the decorations stirring around in her, she realized that life would never be like the stories she had created. It was raw, messy, and unpredictable. Real-life hurt sometimes and, like right now, called for her precise, safe plans to be derailed by its chaos.

"Connor Deluca, I love you!" Serena yelled from where she stood. The rush of those words off her tongue left her breathless. Her chest heaved up and down, and for a second, she thought she might pass out. "I loved you from the moment you stumbled into my life with your loud parties and stupid smirks!"

Connor whipped his stone gaze over to her, his eyes widening. Her words even render the coach still for a moment, stopping his eager corral of his rogue hockey player.

The moment felt frozen in time as they stared at each other. The wordless exchange bore the total weight of her words.

She honestly couldn't place the sheer shock on his face, whether it was one of delight or horror. The uncertainty made her heart beat crazily, and she wouldn't have the time to decipher it.

The coach snapped back into reality, pushing Connor out of her view and back into the game.

A beat later, the crowd went wild with cheers, and she heard the far-off sound of announcers acknowledging the return of the Denver Wolves star player.

Serena basked for a moment in the beautiful feeling of the weight of those words off her chest. Her eyes widened, and she stared at a spot on the ground as her whole body rang from the adrenaline.

But the minute the adrenaline died down, Serena realized with debilitating severity that Connor hadn't said it back, and that left her feeling a whole new category of fear.

That was the price of love's recklessness. It promised nothing.

•