Lust Next Door - S01 E66

Story 4 months ago

Lust Next Door - S01 E66

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 66

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The world felt completely still underneath the floccose weight of her blanket. She had remained tucked into her room, scared to leave the delicate threshold of her safe walls because the world now became a battlefield for her. Things had gotten bad. She wasn't sleeping properly, too scared someone would show up at her house. She wasn't eating right, not trusting her delivery service anymore. She had shut her life off nearly completely while the world tried desperately to peer into her life.

Nothing truly felt good anymore. She closed all her blinds, kept herself off the internet so she wouldn't see her face plastered all over it, and stopped answering calls.

The only glimmer of light she got was from memories that were followed up with a sharp stab of pain every time she indulged in them. Memories of him, but the more she thought of their time together, the more she was reminded of how royally messed up it all was now. She felt the weight of her actions a lot more than anything he had done.

She constantly replayed what she had said in the heat of her panicked anger, wishing she could be different. But Serena was wired to fear, to question, and accuse, so maybe she could succeed at protecting herself the second time around.

She had done that; she succeeded in avoiding every signal of danger that might ever cross her path. In doing so, she pushed away every person before they even got a chance to get close. One did get close even despite all of her intricately crafted safety measures, he got so perfectly close that Serena's heart had leaped out of the old wounds in her chest and crawled to him desperately. She pushed that one away too, in her frantic attempt to keep the heart that no longer belonged to her safe.

She didn't know what to believe, but the sheer conviction and hurt she had seen on Connor's face left her feeling crowed with a sense of dread that she had a more significant hand in this. She felt sick with the idea that her past trauma had caused her to react with the same ferocity as the people who had given it to her.

She lay in bed with eyes bloodshot and hung down by heavy bags, staring ahead at a spot on the wall while her mind did heavy blows to herself. She wasn't worth love and was too damaged to receive or give it. Like it was her own form of personal torment, she replayed and replayed his harsh words, words that were true.

The worst part of her lonely wallowing was the two sides of herself tearing her heart in two directions. The part that felt utterly certain of her assumptions and betrayal by Connor. It was the part that hung on to the notion he was the one that outed her to the world, the part that focused on him looking through her computer instead of looking for her, and all of the words he used to hurt her.

Then there was the side that remembered his touch, his voice, and the way he made the world look not so scary. She could painfully recall every detail of his warm whispered words sliding right through the damaged walls of her heart, cradling it in the palms of his sincerity. She was crushed she would never have that again, and every sense in her body screamed out for him in hopes he'd hear.

They pulled, and pulled, and pulled at her body. Not stopping till her heart and lungs separated, she was left there like a husk of her stupid actions.

A small silent tear rolled down the void expanse of her face. She reached up just as blankly and wiped it away; she had sealed her fate. She had chosen to live in her bubble. She had to face this reality she built.

Her doorbell rang, making her whole body flinch, her heart racing in her chest as the noise disrupted the peace of her home.

She sighed and tried her best to calm her heart down as she pulled the covers from her body. She was dressed in a pair of sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt with a large print across the chest that read 'This guy needs a beer.' Her hair was pitifully tied into a loose knot above her head, and she did in fact feel like she needed a beer as she finally reached the door. She peeked out the peephole, reasonably sure it wasn't Connor, but she now had to worry about anyone turning up at her door.

When she saw Melody's familiar face, her shoulders relaxed, and she blew out a tight breath before opening it.

"You can shut the world out, but if you think you can shut me out, you're sorely mistaken, lady." The headstrong woman pushed past Serena and into her house, immediately flicking the light switch on. The sudden pang of light hitting her eyes made her squint.

"What are you doing here?" She groaned.

"Checking in on you, and clearly, it's a good thing I did. You look like you're decomposing." Melody turned her gaze over to her and flicked it up and down. This woman had seen her in some pretty sad states, but this one might've taken the cake.

Serena rubbed a hand over her face, pulling at the bags under her eyes, "I'm fine. I'm just trying to figure out how to deal with this mess."

Mel narrowed that all-knowing look at her and shook her head, her soft waves of brown hair swaying side to side.

"Yeah, I'm not convinced. There is more going on. Your eyes are all red like you've been crying, you don't look like you've eaten much of anything, and your flowers out front are wilting like they haven't gotten water in a week. You never let your flowers wilt."

Serena just stared at her and blinked a few times; she felt a tight quiver in her lip and a searing sting behind her eyes under the revealing observations. She hadn't realized she was as transparent as glass, her pain on clear display. The tiring restraint she was trying to keep on all of her emotions threatened to snap beneath the pressure.

A line of water made her vision blurry, and her chest started to rise and fall with short breaths. All the air in her body was trying to get out at once, making her shudder.

Melody's whole face softened, and she moved with open arms to support her, "Oh honey." She wrapped her up in a hug, and Serena fell into the older women's warmth. She smelled like cinnamon and chamomile, and the sturdy balance she offered Serena while her world spun made her cry harder. She clutched onto her, and her sobs came out in strangled wails.

Melody let her fall apart in her arms, stroking a hand down her back every so slowly, every drag of her hand instilling a warm safety in her cold body, like liquid gold pouring into her body and making her feel whole again. It was the touch of a mother, the kind of comforting support you could only get from that sort of bond. She never experienced it from her real mom and never expected to feel it now. But hell, did it feel good.

Serena's eyes still leaked liquid, but her breathing calmed down to a steady inhale and exhale. She focused on the pull of air in her lungs, doing her best to control that as Melody offered soothing words.

"Just breath honey, deep breaths, and when you're ready, you can talk to me." She whispered.

Serena made an ugly-sounding snort as she pulled in a breath through her stuffed nose, nodding gently. She just took her time and basked in the comfort of another person, someone who she knew she could trust through hell and high water.

Once she found her words and talking didn't seem impossible, she told Melody everything. She cried through most of the story, recounting how scared she was to see Peter, followed up by her biggest secret being found out. She told her how she reacted and how he did, too, all of the nasty words they exchanged.

"God, darling, that's some emotional whiplash. All in one night." They had sat down at the island, facing each other as Melody listened to her.

Serena's heart squeezed in her chest, and she nodded with a solemn frown, "I feel really awful. I jumped to the worst conclusions. I hurt him badly. He hurt me too. But I don't know what's wrong with me, and I don't know if we can come back from this. I'm so scared of trusting people.

Melody reached forward and swiped away the rolling tears as they poured down, "You both are scared."

Serena closed her eyes and shook her head, "I wish I could just fix myself. Undo what Peter did."

Melody chuckled, and it made Serena look up into her face. She had a wistful smile on her mouth that didn't make her feel judged but related to her. They were just two women sharing a moment of pain with their hands in the other.

"Serena, we will always encounter people that change who we are. For good and worse, all of them enable us with a new set of skills. You had the unfortunate opportunity to meet someone that equipped you with too intense of a defense system. You aren't broken. You are just protecting yourself. So is Connor. You both have these giant walls built so high." Melody turned her palms over and gave them a good squeeze, "Lower them a little so that he can climb over. So that the people that want to get to know you can."

Serena took in a shaky breath as the impact of her words hit her square in her chest, taking away the air in her lungs and making her brain spin. She was right. This woman could see right through her and into the fundamental workings of her body.

She was stripped raw and naked, her heart an open sore for anyone to pick at. It didn't feel good; it felt awful. But she clung on to the fact she knew Melody, and she knew that she would never take a knife to the fractured heart she sought to protect.

She trusted her. It was about time she started trusting others too.

She let out a broken sob, shaking her head as she stared shamefully down at her lap. She watched as droplets of tears fell from her eyes and pooled on her thighs.

"Melody, what if I can't fix this? I'm terrified that even if I lay myself out in front of him, hand him my love, it won't matter in the end. He'll still hate me."

"That's a part of it too, honey, getting hurt. It's inevitable, and I won't sit here and promise you he will break down in tears and forgive everything like some couple in a rom-com."

She blew out a breath, looking up at her with watery eyes, "That's great."

Melody chuckled and took Serena's face in both of her hands, squeezing her cheeks together as she might do to her kids, "I do know he doesn't hate you miss pouty pants."

The name made Serena smile. She rolled her eyes and leaned back, drying her eyes with the bottoms of her palm.

"You didn't see how he looked at me or hear what he said."

The older woman just shook her head, "Doesn't matter. I saw how he looked at you when he thought no one was watching."

A hopeful breath caught in the bottom of Serena's throat, making that familiar warmth and excitement bloom in the bottom of her chest as she looked up at Mel.

"And that tells me everything I need to know."

Serena swallowed down the shiny lump in her throat and offered a small smile back to her, "Thank you for coming."

"Like it or not, I'll always be here for you, Serena." Melody winked and hopped up off the stool, fixing her sleek pants suit.

"I also came here to tell you an update about this whole exposing mess."

This elicited a dramatic groan from Serena, making her fold her arms together on the table and bury her head in them.

"Trust me, I know you don't wanna be dealing with this, but your silence is affecting your image and your sales. Just a reminder, bad press is not a good thing before you're about to launch a new book."

"I know." She mumbled into her forearm.

"When you're ready, of course. You should have a book signing, something small but reported on, so people can hear you. Whatever you want to say is fine, but you need to say something. If this sounds okay to you, I can set up something this Saturday at a local library." Melody said in her usual pointed businessy tone, the one she was so used to hearing scrutinize her for more chapters.

That's the day after Connor's game for the Stanley cup. She thought mindlessly as the familiar swirl of panic in her chest choked her up. It set off alarms and made her brain go all fuzzy. Before it could overtake her, however, Serena closed her eyes and blew out a chilled breath. She wasn't going to live in fear anymore.

"Saturday sounds good." She leaned up and faced Melody, holding her eye contact despite every voice telling her to run.

This seemed to take her by surprise, her eyes widened a little, and it took her a second to respond, "G-great, that's great! I'll let them know."

There was another ring at her door that drew both of their gazes to the sizeable wooden doorway, and it was immediately followed but a series of knocks and a voice that she felt etched into her heart.

"Serena, it's me." Connor's voice carried through the grain of the wood and pierced right into her. She went rigid as Melody looked down at her phone and faked a smile.

"That's the husband calling me. I'll let you two have some privacy." She raised the phone to her ear and stepped into the library down the hall.

She was left alone to face him.

He knocked again as she approached the door, opening it while her heart raced rapidly through her body. She was looking at the ground when it opened, seeing his feet first as she slowly followed up the large expanse of his body.

Seeing his face again was devastating, immediately, she felt the urge for him ignite in her body. It squeezed her heart and made her throat feel like it was closing with the intense longing to have him, knowing he was the furthest from her.

His eyes held scorn as they gazed down at her, only making her feel worse as she shrunk into herself. She was suddenly keenly aware of the effect insomnia had on her appearance and the way her clothes hung off her body in unflattering waves.

His intense dark eyes looked cold and unforgiving as they scanned over her face, seemingly searching for something he couldn't find when he finally spoke.

"I found who leaked your identity."

Her eyes went wide, shock took her by the chokehold, and all she could do was stare at him with a dumbfounded look.

"It was Liam, not me." His voice was the husky reminder of all the times he whispered her name with sweet affection. Serena had to dig her nails into her palm to keep herself from balling in front of her.

Her heart, however, wept for him.

She finally found her voice to speak, "How did you find out?"

Connor jutted out his hand that was holding a vanilla folder between them, "I bought the rights to the video that was used to expose you. It was a conversation recorded between you and your editor, and it was at the rink. After that, it was just a matter of pulling the surveillance footage. It's all in this folder spelled out in sparkly letters." His tone carried the edge of a sword as he spoke, but Serena could pick up on the way his spiteful words sang out his hurt.

She couldn't even process what he was telling her. All that really registered was the outstanding shame she felt looming over her, whispering in her ear, 'You were wrong you were wrong.'

"Connor, I'm-"

"I don't want to hear it, honestly. I said I would prove you wrong, and I did. From the moment-" He choked up on his words, making him pull a sharp breath in through his nose as he collected what he wanted to say.

"I'm just done. My final game is tomorrow, and I need to focus on that." Connor shoved his hands into his pants pockets and turned away from her. As he descended the short steps, Serena felt the burn of her tears behind her eyes.

"Then why do this? Why go out of your way to do any of this? If you hate me, then say that!" She held up the folder shaking it, while she spoke in her raised voice. Her heart was a mess as she tried to understand him. Why did he look at her like she didn't exist but talk like he was drowning in pain? Like he was suffering without her.

He spun around, and his face was twisted in his own confused anger. His eyes held the weight of the world in the brown color. She remembered them staring at her inches away. He was searching her expression again, desperately trying to decipher something in her pained face.

Connor just shook his head and closed his eyes, "As I said, I'm done trying to convince you I'm a good guy."

He turned around and walked away. Serena didn't have the heart to watch him go. She stepped inside and slammed the door. Resuming her painful sobs as her heart ached in the palm of Connor's hand. Her cries were loud and messy, the folder falling out of her hands and spilling the contents all around her as she fell to the floor.

She loved him; she loved him so painfully. Whether she liked it or not, she fell in deep for him, and now that he didn't want her. She could no longer crawl out, and he could only stare down at her in the pits of her painful affection.

Melody came out of the library and gasped when she saw the state of Serena, running to console her once more as she fell into broken pieces on the floor.