Deal With The Devil - S01 E102

2 years ago

Deal With The Devil - S01 E102

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 102

❝What I have become❞

.•*•.

Days pass. Days with no end and no beginning, they're endless and even when the sun either goes down or goes up it doesn't feel like a new day has gone by nor arrived. It is as if time has passed and the horrible sickening feeling stays with me the whole time and it never goes away and even when all I want is for it to leave me all alone, it doesn't and I fear that it will never leave me at all and it makes me feel horrible. I've not left the bedroom in some time, or ever since I came here inside the room. 3

I've barely had any time to look at it as I'm so lost in my own sadness and sorrow to even try to notice how the room is. Everything is just dull without him and it feels like I can't continue my life without him by my side. It is true what they say. 'You never know what you had until you've lost it'. I suppose that is what has happened to me as now I have lost the only man that I love and care for more than my own life.

The door to the room opens and someone walks inside but I still lie in the bed, facing the wall that has become the focal point in my life right about now as I've studied that wall more than anything over the last couple of days. "When a woman is missing her lover, that is the situation that she is in" I hear Colt's annoying voice break the silence in the room. The silence had been my only friend and the only thing that barely left me and nor did I want it to leave me alone.

I don't turn to face him and neither do I want to. He sits on the bed and forces me to face him. "Despite you looking horrible, he looks worse" Colt says and chuckles but I neither find it funny nor interesting to hear. I have not showered in a week and I've barely even eaten as I've just been lying here this entire time. Every so often I would go to the bathroom but not too often I go outside the room or even get out of the bed. "And you're ignoring me, just like him. Ever wondered how much you two belong together?" He asks me and I resist to roll my eyes. 20

I turn back to face the wall as I just want to be left alone. It is hard to even speak as I have been crying and sobbing so much that my throat and my voice does hurt a bit. My eyes are also hurting from crying and I have a constant headache all the time that makes my head feels like there is someone banging a hammer inside my skull and creating that headache that has taken over me but that is nothing compared to the pain inside my heart.

That pain doesn't go away and it has been since I was in his office, and that pain is the only thing that keeps me awake and it reminds of how I have made a mistake and that I can never take it back. Ever. That is just too much for me to bear. "All right, you are getting up. Taking a shower and eating something and I'm not helping you in the shower... unless you want me to because if so then I'm game" He says, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

This time I do roll my eyes as I look over to him but I don't feel like moving. I don't feel like I want to speak, move or even do anything at all. I just want to lie here until... I don't know how long I want to be here. I know that I just want to be here and stay here for a long time as this sadness that has me weighed down doesn't want to leave me. It stays with me. "That is a sign that something's wrong, normally you would've laughed or giggled but now you don't. I think my tricks aren't working any more" Colt jokes but I don't laugh.

It is true what he says, I would've normally laughed or at least smiled at his jokes but now I don't and I know that there isn't anything wrong with him, there is something wrong with me. There has to be something wrong with me since I did make a mistake that not many would've made but at the time I was so sure that it was what I wanted but now I know that it was a mistake and I would like nothing more than to go back to him.

However, I know that he must have found some other woman by now. Some woman that her family is desperate and needs help from someone as powerful (the most powerful) as him. Perhaps someone who isn't as difficult as I am and someone that doesn't need a deal to fall in love with him. Or perhaps he just wants someone to play around with as maybe he was always playing and fooling me. Colt, who I had forgotten was even here takes both my hands and forces me to sit up in the bed.

I don't want to be seated but it does make me feel a bit dizzy, most likely from lack of eating as I've not eaten that much. My appetite does not allow that as I feel like throwing up all the time from the sick feeling inside me. "I'm pretty sure that someone and I mean someone is not going to be happy if I were to help you in the shower. As tempting as that is, I'm going to need you to do something" Colt tells me and he snickers and I can already tell that he isn't going to be leaving any time soon as I might as well do what he says.