Men Dey Reason - S01 E153

Story 2 years ago

Men Dey Reason - S01 E153

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 153

Why wouldn’t my fart tear my boxers? When

my stomach was running because of the urine

soaked bread i ate.

I continued shivering and gnashing my teeth

or rather speaking in tongues, when i heard

two Policemen walked to our cell and one of

them said; “those boys wey be cultist, if una

hear una name make una dey comot one by

one” He opened the cell.

That was when it dawned on me that they

arrested us because they thought we were

cultist.

He mentioned Seven names, and i didn’t hear

mine. He kept repeating a particular name;

Ugochukwu Eke. My mind told me the name

sounded familiar.

“present Oga officer!! name my name sir!!” I cried

out.

As I and Man entered the compound, Mama

Ejima and Kate ran into their rooms with a

great speed.

“why dem this one dey run na?” I asked Man.

“when we reach house you know” He

answered.

“i no blame una, that una Video still dey oh,

na this jeans pocket i put the memory card

wey the video dey” I dipped my hand into my

pocket. To my greatest surprise, the memory

card wasn’t in it.

“how this memory card take disappear na? E

been dey for my pocket before police arrest

me na ” I was sure of that.

“abi e fall comot when those Policemen say

make we comot our cloth?” I asked myself.

It was certain Tupac would eat me for

breakfast for misplacing his memory card,

what wasn’t certain was whether he would eat

me raw or cooked.

As i was about stepping into our room, i

heard; “Flowey!! Flowey!!” it was a female

voice. I initially thought what i heard was;

“Flour!! Flour!!” maybe the person was calling

a Flour seller.

“i never see where them dey kiri flour before

oh” I said to myself. And i turned to see what

a Flour seller would look like.

Kiri is not the short form for the name of the

prison Kirikiri, it is the Pidgin word said to

refer to someone hawking wares on his/her

head. That means a Pure water hawker would

be referred to as a Pure water “Kirier”, also a

Beans hawker would be referred to as Beans

“Kirier”.

The person i saw was too beautiful to be a

Flour dealer not to talk of a Flour Kirier.

It was the ever b’.reastful Florence.

“how this one take know where i dey stay?” I

asked myself, as she walked towards me, she

wasn’t walking alone, she walked side by side

with her two mighty b’.reast, one on her left

and one on her right.

“omoh mehn! This one dey come for wrong

time oh” I said within.

She really came at the wrong time. My breath

was smelling like soak-away because i had

not brushed my teeth for three days, my face

was unkept because there was a forest of

beard in it, my body was smelling like that of

a He-goat, not only that, my skin looked like

the skin of someone infected with Chicken

pox, the marks of mosquito bites in my skin

looked like i had Tatoo all over my body.

“howdy Florence!” I greeted.

“am fine, and u?” She said.

“am fine” I replied.

“am not fine oh” I nearly said.