Men Dey Reason - S01 E148

1 month ago

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 148

Two Male officers and a Female officer.

“Where were you all on the night of Chief

Ogbonna’s murder?” A male Officer asked us.

I saw from his name tag that his name was

Officer Tunde.

“we were at home, all of us” I replied.

“so since u were all at home, what happened

between 2300hours and 1am” Another Officer

asked. From his name tag, i saw that his

name was a tongue twister. His name had

more consonants than vowels. According to

what i saw, his name was Ejunykpokpo,

sounded like “Enjoying kponkpon”. Because

the name sounded funny, i smiled.

“why are u smiling, do u think we are here for

joke?” the Female officer yelled at me.

“no Aunty Officer, naso my face dey. If i no

dey smile, e go be like say i dey smile” I

replied.

Her name wasn’t Aunty Officer, but Aunty

Officer Bimpe, sorry, Officer Bimpe(miss)

according to her name tag. That meant she

wasn’t married. “who go marry you sef, u

think say any Ibo boy go marry O”femmanu

girl like you?” I mistakenly said with a low

voice, like i whispered it loud enough for my

friends seating close to me to hear and not

loud enough for the Officers to hear. It was a

slip of tongue. So my friends laughed.

“what did u say?” Officer Bimpe yelled at me

and stood up. She even brought out koboko.

Koboko a.k.a horse whip a.k.a chop and clean

mouth.

“so na me u wan flog koboko, dem no born

you well make you flog me” I couldn’t say

that.

“i say what did u say” she yelled raising her

hand as if she wanted to flog me.

Though she had not flogged me yet, but in the

spiritual realm she had already flogged me

and i could feel the “tingling senstation” of

the pain in my back.

So in other for the spiritual not to turn

physical, i instantly switch on my “lie clock” to

figure out the best lie to say. TIC………..TOCK,

TIC……….TOCK, went my lie clock. Finally the

clock stopped at about 1759hours.

“i said you are a very beautiful woman and

you will make a good wife” I answered.

“i tot u said something else” Officer Bimbe

said and sat down. “that is what he said” my

guys defended me.

“so naso woman for flog me koboko, God

forbid!” i tot.

“now what happened between 2300hours and

1am” Officer Enjoying Kpokpon or rather

Ejunykpokpo asked.

Tega started explaining with a mind blowing

grammer.

With words that could run one’s stomach.

Mehn! Tega could speak. A grammarian

indeed if i must say. That kin Yanky English.

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Men Dey Reason - S01 E147

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