Men Dey Reason - S01 E97

Story 2 years ago

Men Dey Reason - S01 E97

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 97

As Old Solja alighted from Madam Ifeoma’s car, i

noticed he was looking younger and kept unlike

the last time i saw him about a month ago.

“Old Solja!! Old Solja!!” we cheered. “my boys! How

unu dey” He smiled revealing his rotten teeth.

The kind of teeth no toothpaste in the whole wide

world could clean. The only remedy to bring the

sparkling back to his teeth was if he tried

brushing with a mixture of Ogogoro, Brukutu,

Omo, Jik, and Kerosene. And an Iron sponge would

do the “dirty job” of scrubbing.

Ogogoro is spirit, alcoholic spirit, while Brukutu is

a native alcoholic drink that is sometimes reddish.

Why i prefered Ogogoro to Brukutu is because, the

first day i drank Ogogoro to stupor, i saw the Sun

and the Moon dancing round my head.

Before i throw more light on Brukutu, be warned,

never you drink Brukutu alone, never!! It is best

enjoyed with friends.

As for Brukutu, since i was born, the one and only

day i ate my poo was the day i drank Brukutu to

stupor at Mammy market in the Barracks. That

day, i saw the heap of my poo as a heap of Moi Moi,

so i took just a chunk, and then one for the road

(those of una wey dey vex say i dey talk about

s’hit, make una no vex i dey talk am as e happen).

I was just Twelve then, and it was a juvenile

adventure i embarked on. After taking about

three cups of “BK” as it is popularly known, i went

to a nearby bush, pood and ate half of it. I smelt

of poo as i walked home that night.

I know you would be asking why i ate poo when i

wasn’t mad?

The answer to that is simple; that was the first

day i tasted anything alcohol, so i had planned

taking it alone. Brukutu commisioned my drinking

career. What happened when i got home that day

is a story for another day.

“Old Solja wetin you dey chop na?” I asked Old

Solja who walked towards where we sat resting.

“na Kola” Old Solja replied.

Kola is a short form for Kolanut, and Kolawole.

Legend has it that Kolanut is an express way to

having rotten teeth. And also, the moment you

eat Kolanut, you have murdered sleep, sleep will

be so far from you.

“unu want Kola?” Old Solja offered. “i no want” I

and Brainbox said at the same time. But Man

accepted it. Why?

Because he was a Mallam. And Kolanut was like

Candy to a typical Mallam.

An hour later and we were through digging the

“bottomless” pit, that was 30minutes after

Igbakwambo and Ochabuorie finished digging

theirs.

Madam Ifeoma ordered us to perfect the work by

showing us some places we had to dig, which we

did, albeit reluctantly. She was just searching for

our mistakes.