Men Dey Reason - S01 E80

Story 2 years ago

Men Dey Reason - S01 E80

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 80

A female it was, a beautiful one at that.

Not just beautiful, but Big and Beautiful.

The females that followed behind her were of her

kind.

Call them Plus size, call them Orobo, call them

Fat, call them Chubby, it is left for you. But for

me, i would prefer to call them Heavy Duty

because as the three of them sat, it seemed the

bus tyre deflated.

Not only that, as they sat, they practically

mangled me towards the window, that i could

barely breathe.

The cloud was about to cry, as i could hear low

thundering sounds from afar.

I took a quick glimpse at the faces of the Ladies

to notice that just two of them were beautiful;

the one by my side, and the one at the extreme.

The one at the middle could be best described as a

Mother Frog.

The right arm of my shirt was soaked with urine

and it was wetting the dress of the beautiful

Heavy duty that sat beside me. She didn’t even

notice.

What she noticed was the stench of Urine that

came from my direction. And she looked away.

“uuuuuuuhnnnn! Piss dey smell for here” The

heavy duty at the extreme said. I was surprised

such beautiful Lady spoke Pidgin.

“who dey piss for bed here” The Mother Frog at

the middle said and every passenger laughed.

“you dey Mad, na your Papa dey piss for bed” I

almost said.

Immediately the bus Ignition came on, it started

drizzling.

From drizzling, it started raining heavily.

Saying it rained Cats and Dogs that night is an

understatement, it rained Elephants and Cows.

All the windows were shut and the urine odour

was suffocating.

“uuuuuuuhnnn! Person go wan piss, na for him

clothe him go piss, like say him be small pekin” The

Mother Frog said what made the whole passengers

laughed out loud. She was really a comedian, i

guessed God gave her that talent to console her

for her U’gliness. She would definately give

Lepacious Bose a run for her money if she harness

the talent rightly.

Suddenly, i felt a drop of water rested on my

head.

From one drop to several drops. I looked up and

several drops of water landed into my eyes that

blurred my vission.

As i moved my face towards the Heavy Duties, the

drops of water that entered my eyes came running

down my chin, making it look as if i was crying.

“see this Bros dey cry because of the piss wey dey

smell, person wey piss for body shebi you don see

wetin you cause?” The Mother Frog teased and

everyone laughed. My friends even laughed most.

The water as now running fast to my head. The

water on my head was overflowing to my face,

making me look like an Ostrich that just took it’s

bath.

“Conductor una motor dey lick na” I complained.

“no vex, take this rag put for the place wey dey

lick” The bus Conductor offered me a very dirty

rag that i rejected.

“make him use him hand hold the rag for up abi,

you no know say him hand go pain am, you no get

sense oh, you dey Mad oh” That was Brainbox

abusing the Bus Conductor.

“na your Papa dey Mad, Otu Nne gi” The Bus

Conductor returned.

“Otu Nne gi” is an abuse that literally means Your

Mother’s Kpormor. Of course you know the

Kpormor i mean.

One thing led to another and Brainbox let out a

punch to the Bus conductor’s jaw.

The Bus conductor also let out a punch that was

meant for Brainbox but landed on Man’s left eye.