The Heartbroken - S01 E177

Story 2 years ago

The Heartbroken - S01 E177

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 177

Are you all right?

I contemplated on hitting send as I

stared at Seth’s number on the

contact list, but I didn’t.

All it would have taken was one tap,

but the message stayed there,

unsent and saved in the drafts

folder, and for the rest of the day, I

felt awful about it.

Seth had been a constant presence

around me for the past few weeks

and now, I was finding it hard to

ease back into a normal routine

that didn’t involve him. I couldn’t go

back to my life pre-Seth, because I

was different now and it was hard

to figure out how this post-Seth

phase worked.

People have been staring at me all

day, sending me a variety of looks

—apologetic, curious, victorious. I

tried to ignore them all, telling

myself that all I had to do was go

through this day, and by the end of

it, I would finally know the answer

behind the biggest question mark

in my life.

So I tuned everything out and tried

to focus on the lessons, forcing

myself not to think of either Cedric

or Seth (a task which was proving

to be nearly impossible). All through

the day, I could feel the weight of

that unsent message on my phone,

dragging me down and reminding

me of everything that had gone

wrong between me and Seth.

After my last class, I went straight

to the library, where Cedric and I

agreed to meet. He wasn’t there yet

and I found myself composing

another message to Seth.

I kind of f-----g miss you.

Unsent.

I took a deep breath and locked my

phone. I wasn’t even writing the

messages for him at all. They were

for me, a way to deal with the fact

that I couldn’t talk to him and this

was the closest thing I could get to

telling him.

When my phone buzzed, I nearly

jumped. My first thought was that it

was Seth, but it was only Cedric

texting to me know he was going

to be around ten minutes late

because of some work he had to

finish for a groupwork.

Thinking I might as well use the

extra ten minutes he’d given me, I

took out a pen and paper to

attempt to write something for the

contest.

The deadline was looming closer,

but I still couldn’t find anything I

wanted to write about. I tried, quite

a lot of times, but only ended up

with messy first paragraphs and

some gibberish that were

immediately deleted from my

computer or torn from my

notebook, crumpled and thrown

away.

I took my earphones from my bag

and plugged them on, playing my

music on shuffle. It was almost

ironic, really, how the first track

that played was The Scientist

by Coldplay. It was like the lyrics

themselves were speaking what I

was feeling at the moment.

The words came flooding into my

brain as the music picked up and

before I knew it, I was already

writing on a piece of slightly

creased paper.

Do you remember, Romeo?

How it used to feel as if the world

revolved around her,

How the sun seemed dim to the

twinkle in her eyes,

How her smile was the thing that

made you open your eyes each

morning.

Remember, Romeo?

How much it hurt when she walked

out,

Her parting words like shattered

glass,

Marking cuts upon your heart.