The Heartbroken - S01 E128

2 years ago

The Heartbroken - S01 E128

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 128

I woke up at past one a.m., feeling extremely exhausted from the dream. It wasn’t the first time I had it. I remember having the same dream when I was younger, right around the time my father died.

It must have had something to do with the fact that I’d just gone to the hospital earlier.

Hail wouldn’t stop thanking me for visiting Lauren. She knew, of course she knew, that I had always hated going to the hospital. It reminded me of those few short weeks when we had to rush to the hospital because Dad fainted, when he threw up so violently Mom made me go out of the room, when we had to stay in the hospital because Dad was too weak to go home.

I’d skipped school during those last few days. My mom called my adviser and she didn’t know that I had accidentally eavesdropped, hearing her say, “It could be any minute now. I just want her to spend every last moment with him.”

It scared me, hearing her say that, and I wouldn’t leave my dad, trying to stay with him as much as possible. It felt like every second was too precious to lose.

Earlier, when I walked into the hospital room to see Lauren sleeping in that god awful hospital bed, with this dextrose pouring into her through plastic tubes, I almost felt like crying. It reminded me too much of Dad.

But seeing Hail, with a look on her face that was so familiar to me it almost broke my heart, I knew I had to stay with her. It was the same look on Mom’s face whenever she saw Dad in that drugged slumber that was supposed to take his pain away.

When I left, Hail hugged me so tight and I realized just how scared she really was.

Now, at one in the morning, I realized that the dream must have meant something like me chasing my Dad. The white corridor might as well be the hospital and the bird I was running after was Dad.

I tried to go back to sleep, tossing and turning in my bed, but I only managed to mess up the covers. Whenever I closed my eyes, images of my dad in the hospital kept coming back to me. Not the good ones, when he was awake and smiling and trying to listen to my stories. The images that kept coming back were the ones that reminded me most of his death–nurses running into the room, him coughing blood out, my mom trying to be strong for all of us.

Before I could think better of it, I found myself reaching for my phone from under my pillow, dialing Seth like it was nothing out of the ordinary.

I only realized what exactly I was doing when it started ringing.

When had I started depending on him so much? So much that here I was, calling him at one a.m. like it was the most normal thing ever.

I thought back to what Hail had told me earlier. Surely, she must have been reading things the wrong way. Sure, along the way, Seth and I had grown close, closer than I expected, and it scares me how much I care about him, but I didn’t like him in that way. I couldn’t possibly.

“Hey, is something wrong?” he answered groggily after the seventh ring.

Ah, f--k, I woke him up. “No, um, hi.”

I could hear some rustling over the line. “What’s wrong?” His voice, even through the phone, sent shivers down my spine.

“Why are you assuming that something’s wrong?”

“One does not simply call at one a.m. for nothing important.” There was more rustling, making me wonder what on earth he was doing there. “So, what’s up?”

He was sounding more awake now. I felt guilty for waking him up, especially because I had no idea why exactly I decided to bother him this late. If things were reversed, I probably wouldn’t be taking it as well as he was.