The Heartbroken - S01 E100

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The Heartbroken - S01 E100

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 100

“I missed that smile of

his,” she said. “That

wide, dorky, goofy grin?

I hadn’t seen it for a

long time. Not until he

met you.”

I was so tempted to

ask her what happened

between him and Sarah.

I wanted to know. I

wanted to ask her so

badly. It was so difficult

to be the only one who

wasn’t in on the secret.

When Dad got cancer, I

had no idea about it

until he got admitted to

the hospital. They left

me in the dark for an

impossibly long time. I

never want to stay in

the dark ever again. I

needed to know what

Sarah’s deal was,

because I was afraid

the answer was going

to slap me straight in

the face harder later.

I didn’t want to be that

girl again. That girl who

was staring at the

closed door at the

hospital corridor, no idea

what was happening to

her dad on the other

side of the door, no idea

how bad it was, no idea

that whatever was

wrong, it was killing her

dad.

I don’t want it to be like

that with Seth again.

“Seth never told me

about Sarah,” I told her.

“He once told me that

moving on is being able

to remember

something without

feeling hurt. I think he

hasn’t completely

moved on.”

She looked at me with

an unreadable

expression on her face,

pressing her lips

together. “Well,” she

said after thinking

about it, “he forgot to

tell you the part where

moving on doesn’t

happen instantly. You

don’t just wake up one

morning feeling ‘Meh, I

don’t give a shit about

that motherfucker

anymore.’ It’s a process.

Seth had been stuck in

a rut for a long time,

and you’re the one who

pulled him out of it. He

might not have moved

on completely yet, but

he’s getting there.”

Was it the same for

me? Have I been

making progress?

Was I still stuck?

“Don’t hesitate to tell

me if he ever hurts

you,” she said. “I’d

personally give him a

black-eye for being

stupid and violently

shove him your way

until he apologizes.”

Seth’s real girlfriend

would be really, really

lucky. And not just

because of Alyssa and

the rest–Seth himself

was actually quite a

catch, not that I’d ever

admit that to him. That

sexist pig is bigheaded

enough already.

“You’re a really good

friend,” I said. “Really.”

“See? See? I’m an

awesome friend, yet

the others won’t even

come out for pizza with

me because they’re

busy?” she complained

with a playful eye-roll,

feigning a hurt tone.

Then, out of the blue,

she said, “Oh, by the

way, who was that guy

who approached you in

the cafeteria last

Monday? I asked Seth,

but it doesn’t seem

safe to take his word

for it.”

“Why? What did he

say?”

“That he was ‘a person

with severe bacne who

was convinced you had

some ointment that

could clear it,'” she said

flatly, amused.

I burst out laughing,

which I hardly ever do

when it comes to

matters about Cedric.

“He might be telling the

truth,” I said.

“Right, because he

would totally hate

someone for something

as simple as bacne. He

was totally jealous!”

Well, Seth did hate

Cedric, so I couldn’t

blame Alyssa for

mistaking the tension

between them for

jealousy. If only she

knew that it wasn’t

about being jealous at

all. It was a different

matter in its entirety.

“He’s my ex-boyfriend,”

I told her.

“Oh. That makes

sense.” She was so

nonchalant about the

whole thing, like it

wasn’t that big of a

deal. And I loved her for

it.

“Makes sense how?”

“Well,” she said, “it

totally explains the look

of terror on Seth’s face

when you walked out

of the cafeteria with

that guy. It was like he

was afraid you would

never come back.”