The Heartbroken - S01 E91

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The Heartbroken - S01 E91

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 91

I was torn between

feeling relieved that I

was able to ignore her

and feeling horrible for

walking away when I

knew there was clearly

something wrong. I

found it difficult to take

a step farther, too

aware of the growing

distance I was leaving

between the two of us.

But all that we ever had

is gone now, and it was

this thought that

propelled me to walk

straight ahead.

“Are you sure you don’t

want to talk to her?”

Seth said, grabbing the

sleeve of my blouse. I

hadn’t realized I was

walking faster than I

intended to.

“I’m more than just

pretty sure.”

He didn’t call me on the

obvious lie. It was a

good decision of his

because I wasn’t sure

how I would take it,

considering how

emotionally unstable I

was at the moment.

Not well, I assumed.

Desperate to change

the topic, I finally asked

him about his weird

attitude since this

morning.

“What weird attitude?”

He seemed genuinely

surprised at the

question, looking at me

with his eyebrows

furrowed.

I was pretty sure I

hadn’t just imagined it.

“It’s like you’re sort of

distracted. Like you’re

worried about

something.”

The image of Hail,

looking miserable in the

hallway, made its way

into my mind. It struck

me how different

things were compared

to how they would

have been Before. If

things hadn’t changed

so drastically, I would

probably be with Hail

right now, directing

these questions to her

instead of Seth.

“Is that so?” He

shrugged. “I’m blaming

it to the fact that I

didn’t get to eat your

cooking for breakfast.”

“Is this still about yout

dad?” I decided being

straightforward was

the only way I could get

him to talk. In the short

time we’d known each

other, I recognized this

forced nonchalance of

him as his way of

changing the topic.

“Sort of.” He was

tugging at the collar of

his shirt, letting me

know he was very

much uncomfortable

with the fact that I

kept pushing the topic.

Highly frustrated, I

heaved a frustrated

sigh and said, “What is

that supposed to

mean? Is something

else bothering you?”

A tight-lipped smile was

on his face. “I told you, I

just miss your

pancakes. That’s all.”

I hardly ever tried to

push him into telling me

these things, but that

was because he never

let it bother him so

much that it would

affect his attitude. He

had his secrets, but he

also had this perfect

act that he had going on

the surface, and it

barely ever slipped. But

this time, something

was bothering him

enough that his mask

wasn’t exactly

flawless.

“You can tell me about

these things, you

know,” I tried again,

though I knew he didn’t

want to. Truth is, I

wasn’t even sure why I

was worried.

“I know.” He placed one

hand on top of my

head, ruffling my hair in

a gesture that is now

as familiar to me as

breathing is. “But you

really don’t have to

think about me.”

If we hadn’t already

reached the cafeteria, I

might have continued

my attempts at trying

to force him into telling

me. It was frustrating

how he refuses to tell

me about the things

that actually matter to

him—first, Sarah, and

now this.

Thinking about it, the

only time he actually

willingly told me

anything was when he

told me about his sister

Sam and his mom’s

affair, and he only did

that because of the

Question Game we

were playing.

Maybe I should suggest

playing it again. If I

wasn’t mistaken, we

gave each other ten

questions each and we

didn’t get to use all of

them. I momentarily

cursed myself for not

remembering how

many questions we still

had left, but if I wasn’t

mistaken, we had

around six or seven left.

I should find a way to

unpause the game

somehow.