The Heartbroken - S01 E77

Story 5 years ago

The Heartbroken - S01 E77

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 77

I would rather jump off

the Ferris wheel if it

meant not having this

conversation with Seth.

He cursed under his

breath as the ride

started to move. I held

back a couple of curse

words as well. The car

was big enough for six

people, but the confined

space didn’t seem

enough to hold the two

of us and the weight of

the words left unsaid

between us.

You know how

sometimes it feels as if

the tension in the air

was enough to

suffocate you? That

was exactly how it felt

as we rose higher,

neither of us saying

anything.

“I didn’t think you knew

about Sarah,” he finally

said, halfway up the

highest point of the

ride.

Was it really this high? I

wasn’t afraid of heights

or anything, but I felt

nervous.

“I don’t really,” I said.

“Know about Sarah, I

mean.” For some

reason, I kept clasping

and unclasping my

fingers on my lap,

fidgeting like an idiot.

For the first time since

the fight, I raised my

gaze to his, only to find

him looking at me like

he was trying to figure

me out. There was

something about the

way he stared openly,

not bothering to hide

the fact that he was

trying to see something

beneath the surface,

that made me look

away.

“You have your Cedric, I

have my Sarah,” he said.

“Was the mix in the car

for her? The one with

Yellow?”

I could almost see him

struggle to say the

word, but he managed

to force it out. “Yes.”

I waited for him to say

something more, but he

didn’t. He dropped his

gaze.

“When you said you’d

been in love before,” I

said, “was it with her?”

He let out a pained

breath, running his

fingers through his hair.

“Yeah. Pretty much.”

I was aching to ask him

what happened

between them. I

couldn’t remember a

time when Seth Everett

had a girlfriend. Was it

before he became

popular? Come to think

of it, Seth hadn’t

always been popular.

They must have broken

up before he became

popular.

Did that mean Sarah

was a “nobody” (as high

school cliches go)? If

she wasn’t, this story

between Seth and her

wouldn’t be so out of

the student rumor mill.

“You think I don’t get it.

You think I don’t

understand. But I do.”

Seth looked out the

view, compelling me to

look as well.

It almost took my

breath away. The view

was magical. There

were lights everywhere.

From way up here, the

colorful lights from the

rest of Cloudland

seemed like glittering

stars on the ground.

Those from the nearby

neighborhoods twinkled,

transforming the night

into something

breathtakingly beautiful.

“I know how it feels as

if you’ve given

everything to that one

person. I know how it

feels to see her walking

towards you in the

hallway and you

suddenly stop and think

‘This is it. I’ve found her’

and everything you do

everything you say,

everything that

matters is for her.” His

tone was flat, but his

voice was unsteady. His

words tumbled out like

he couldn’t control

them. From where I

sat, I could see his

fingers were almost

trembling. “In your head,

you can see yourself

growing up with her and

even without talking

about it, there’s this

unspoken commitment

between you. You

believe that it’s her, it’s

her, it’s her and it will

only ever be her.”

It was hard not to mix

up my feelings for

Cedric with the

moment. Seth’s words

hit home, straight

through the heart,

missing all logic as he

laid it out there.

“And suddenly it’s

gone,” I said quietly.

“And suddenly it’s

gone,” he repeated.

A quiet settled over us

as we let the words

hang in the air. I wanted

to ask more, to know

more about what really

happened between

them. But thinking

about Cedric and how I

would feel if Seth began

to pry, I knew it wasn’t

right for me to do so.