The Heartbroken - S01 E68

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The Heartbroken - S01 E68

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 68

“Did you make this?” I

asked him.

He didn’t miss a beat.

“Yeah. A long time ago.”

“Who is Juliet?”

The name Sarah almost

made its way out my

mouth but I caught

myself. I didn’t know

why exactly I still

haven’t mentioned her.

I’d always been too

curious about most

stuff.

He shrugged. “It’s just a

name for the mix.”

“Who was it for?”

“Somebody,” he replied

vaguely, taking a left

turn. “I’ll make you one

someday.”

There was a subtle hint

of pleading to drop the

subject in his voice, so I

did. “Sure. Maybe

someday.”

It felt unfair. He knew

everything about me,

and I had no idea who

this Juliet is, and if it

was Sarah. It was like

there was a one-way

mirror between us and

he could see me clearly,

but I couldn’t see him.

Before the third track

started, I took the CD

out, feeling as if I was

stealing something

from Sara by listening.

I played something else

instead, avoiding the

mixes, pretending not

to notice his sigh of

relief as Ben Howard’s

voice filled the car.

“Now that I think about

it, what’s your favorite

band?” he asked me.

I was about to say the

Beatles, but I stopped

myself. The only real

reason why they were

my favorite was

because Cedric did. Now,

sure, I liked listening to

them, but I wouldn’t

exactly call them my

favorite. “I don’t know,”

I answered. “I have no

idea.”

I realized I was telling

the truth.

He considered this for a

second before nodding.

“Okay.”

He started to go on and

on about this band and

that band and it made

me think of Cedric,

saying I was in need of

a serious crash course

on music, and he

brought me a whole box

of CDs at home one day

and we listened to

them all afternoon.

“Hey, are you even

listening?” he said after

a while.

“Why should I?” I tried

not to make it obvious

that I actually felt guilty

about not paying

attention, acting hostile

instead.

He let out a frustrated

groan. “One day,” he

said, “one day you’ll

realize you’re taking me

for granted. And you’ll

fall helplessly in love

with me.”

“I highly doubt that.” I

looked out the window.

That would never

happen, I kept telling

myself, it would never

happen.

—

At one point during the

ride, I fell asleep to Ben

Howard’s songs and

when I reopened my

eyes, the engine was

turned off. I lifted my

head from the car

window, looking around

me for a second,

blinking back sleep as I

tried to take in my

surroundings.

“We’re here,” Seth said

from the driver’s side.

I looked through the

windshield, squinting to

make sense of the

place. My brain decided

not to function

immediately, still

suspended in

dreamland, when it

finally dawned on me

where we were.

I pressed my hands

against the glass of the

window, pressing my

forehead as well as I

tried to get a better

look outside. The

circular web of metal

rotating on and on, the

colorful stuff

everywhere, the rising

and falling and

zigzagging metal

structure. It all clicked

into place.

The amusement park.

I tried not to gawk as I

watched the roller

coaster rise, slowly but

steadily, until reaching

the down-ward slope.

For a second, the cart

teetered, like it wasn’t

sure of the dip, but it

did. Falling bit by bit at

first, continually

accelerating, gaining

speed like it was gaining

courage, embracing the

fall.