Dysfunctional - S01 E04

Story 3 years ago

Dysfunctional - S01 E04

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 4

Sommy's POV

Before I got to the clinic, I had literally brushed the whole thing under the rug. It was a technique I employ to get rid of my problems. I simply imagine them as dust and I use my imaginary broom in sweeping them off. It was my urgent escape from reality.

I walked through the hall that led to my office when I heard someone making complains about me. I recognized the face from my little Google search last night.

“Everything about Dr. Sommy is unethical” I heard Filda say. I wasn’t sure if she meant it as a compliment or insult. Just when the man threatened to leave, I had to make my presence known.

“So you’re the doctor Sommy?” He asked and I nodded.

“How could you keep a client waiting for..” he paused looking at his wrist watch. “Forty minutes” he continued and I almost rolled my eyes if not that I was trying hard to respect him.

I knew his type, the ones with the over time concious persona. School prefects who could have functioned well as time keepers.

“Definitely a time keeper” I uttered unconsciously. I didn’t realize I had said it out loud. He seemed insulted.

This man was a complete bore. He didn’t get any of my jokes. All lawyers are boring! This might come off as a hasty generalization, but I’m yet to meet a lawyer that has humour.

He was too serious for my liking and he wanted a d--n apology. I could see it in his eyes and I wasn’t ready to give him one.

In between his eager expectation for apology, I remembered all my theories on lawyers

“You’re definitely a lawyer.” I spilled out.

“How?” He seemed shocked that I knew. Of course I did! I read his biography on court war blog. I never knew such blog existed until last night.

“It’s what I do” I found my crazy self reply then I turned to Filda requesting that she covers up for me when Mrs. Ajayi calls. She’s a client that wants me to help her with her marriage with her crazy urge for s*x. I’m just a psychologist and not a miracle worker!!

Most times I wonder why people come to me so I could work miracles for them.

I entered into my office and I almost closed the door back from how horrible it looked. It looked like a pig sty.

It never bothered me until now. It has been this way since I scattered the office looking for a VIP invite to a seminar. I knew i kept it in a textbook. Since I didn’t remember which, I scattered the whole office looking for it until I found it.

That was three months ago.

I saw the horror on his face when he looked at me. For the first time in a long time, I was ashame. Then I brushed the thought off even when he made derogatory remarks about how the office looked I just ignored him. I already felt like strangling him.

“What’s your name?” I asked. The shock on his face was interesting. He got angry and I was just simply excited. I pretended not to know who he was out of spite. Nothing gets celebrities more angry than you not recognizing them.

After several argument with him, I decided to dive into the business of the day.

I wondered what his problem might be. There’s no condition new to me, I’ve seen a lot of clients coming to me for crazy things. I was shocked when he told me he has never experienced a hard on. All of my years in this profession, this was a first.

I walked towards him seriously concerned. I wanted to know how it all began. It occurred to me that John was a freaking thirty five years old virgin.

I laughed; all show of concern immediately converted into laughter. He had to be the oldest virgin in the world I thought then an idea popped into my head to give him a hand job.

As crazy as that was, I knew I had to do it. I get inspired to do crazy things like that but I’ve never gone as far as giving any client a hand job. I pushed his chair backwards then knelt down touching his peestick from the fabric of his trousers.

He stood up threatening to sue me for s*xual assault. I rolled my eyes and hissed within.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been attacked by jealous wives and how many relationships and marriages I’ve saved.

Shared on whatsapp by Martino.

I tried to convince him to agree to my crazy idea and he finally agreed.

I touched and stroked the d--n thing. There was no groan, mo*n, he was just static. Every normal guy gets excited with a good hand job, i thought he was diseased but he claimed he was fine.

After several trial to wake up the sleeping dragon, I stood up shaking my head like a doctor about to break a bad news to her patient.

“It’s dead” I announced, “Call me when it’s time for the vigil mass” I added. I noticed he was very angry about.

The guy has no humour! I went back to my seat.

” For what it was worth, you sure have a reasonable length” I complimented. I just managed to weird him out.

“Can we move on?” He requested and I agreed.

“What do you suggest I do?” He asked and I shrugged.

“This case may be pychological or physical. Maybe you got into an accident as a child or a baby or it might be diabolical, we can’t rule that out” I added and he rolled his eyes.

“I did have an accident when I was ten”

“There we have it, maybe your scrotum got fried up” I answered almost laughing.

“It was a blow to my head” he replied through gritted teeth.

“Then it might be psychological, maybe an experience in the past affecting your s*x life” I guessed,

“You have to be specific, I didn’t exactly have a good start”

“You probably grew up in money away from daddy’s love and affection.”

“I was adopted by Anthony Bishop, I had a rough start”

“Let me know, it might just help out in figuring this thing out” I advised and he nodded.

“I failed my father and my siblings” he began and I picked up my notepad to write.

“How did you fail your father and your siblings” I swallowed hard.

“I was ten when my father died, my siblings were separated, my mom was a drunk who couldn’t take care of us. I was moved to Lagos” he paused now shutting his eyes in pain. I felt sorry for him.

“Dad said i was the man of the house. I was supposed to be the man, to take care of everyone of them but I didn’t”

“I think the right word is you couldn’t, it wasn’t your fault”

“I failed him” he insisted.

“Maybe you’re not able to get an erection because you don’t feel you’re man enough to get excited” I paused rushing over to my white board then I picked up my marker drawing a phallus on it.

“What are you doing?” He moved closer.

“I work with my white board” I explained then boldly wrote ‘responsibillity’ on the board.

“Responsibility has just one ‘L’ he corrected and I scoffed.

“Of course I knew” I cleaned off one of the ‘L’.

The spelling still looked wrong to me. How can responsibility not have two ‘l’?

“You didn’t” he argued and i scoffed once more.

“Well I didn’t study english” I snapped. I think I saw him chuckle.

“You’ve channelled your inability to fulfil your promise to your dad into your ability to be a man during s*x.. Your inability has destroyed your ability so all you have to do now is to let go of your promise to your dad”

“I can’t”

“The only solution is to find your siblings, it’s been twenty five years. How would you recognize them? It’s impossible. This isn’t a soap opera, this is real life. If you make your manliness connected to finding them, you’ll be stucked in this condition” I explained to him and he plunged his hands into his trousers suits then sighed. I guess he was either frustrated or confused.

“How can you help me then?” He asked.

I was completely out of ideas, i needed a time out.

“Oga if you ask me, na who I go ask?” I said out loud unconsciously again. “Did I say that out loud?” I asked and I saw him glare at me.

_____________

Bosco's POV

After an unsuccessful and traumatic visit to the therapy clinic, I swore never to go back. Dr. Sommy was nothing but a crazy clown.

It’s been a week and Isabel has been refusing my calls. I learnt she travelled.

Tasha called me up yesterday, told me she came back but doesn’t want to see me. I bought a bouquet of flowers, apology cards and some gifts then I drove over to her family’s house.

I knocked and Isabel opened the door. She had a short denim gown on.

“Hey dear” I greeted stretching the flower at her.

“I’m sorry” i apologized and she smiled.

She has always been a sucker for flowers. She collected it then invited me in and I walked in.

She placed the flower on a shelf now, I didn’t understand why she wasn’t looking into my eyes. Perhaps she was still mad at me.

“Sweetheart I’m sorry for”

“It’s okay” she interrupted, “I’ve forgiven you, I’m just concerned about your well being” she replied kissing me on the lips. She tasted like wine, she has definitely been drinking something alcoholic.

“You make me worried,” she added.

I felt pathetic, perhaps that explains why she was drinking.

“I should be apologizing for not picking up your calls” she placed her palm on my cheek.

“The way I spoke to you that day was wrong, it’s not your fault”

“Have you been drinking?” I inquired,

“I took a bit” she replied.

“I’ve been thinking about us. I’m so happy to see you” she added kissing me on the lip.

I scowled at her, Isabel was not a kind to drink. She was acting strange and i just didn’t understand why.