Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 64
Two fat women were in the backseat and a very beautiful lady sitting alone at the front
Light complexion, hazel eyes, alluring boobs well packed in a denim red top and a very beautiful face like that of Shakira
I spotted the lady before Jide returned from where he went to drop our luggages inside the boot of the car
Jide made for the front seat but I quickly pulled him back
“no..no…na me dey pay for the fare, go sit down with your mums” I whispered in his ear
“you no get sense, becos you don see pretty lady for front? P---y slave” he hissed and hopped into the back seat and closed the door
I ignored his sentimental comment and hopped in to the front seat beside the lady
The distance between Lafenwa to Oyo state is exactly the same distance between the first letter of SPERMATOZOA ‘S’ and ‘A’ the last letter
The journey began after one of the women at the back said some lengthy journey mercies prayer which I reacted to nonchallantly
We were at the ‘R’ letter of the journey when my Barca conscience started encouraging me to woo the lady beside me
‘darous my guy, wetin dey happen na? You wan bone that beautiful girl throughout the journey? Abeg no dull am jor’
it barely stopped talking before my Madrid conscience slowly countered back
“Darous, please don’t mind him o, I advice you to think twice, it was your relationship with a woman that led you to this fatal situation, don’t add to….”
‘instead of you to pray for him to be sucessful with that lady, you are here talking rubbish, abeg keep quiet jor’ Barca retaliated
‘will you guys just stop talking for a while? Wether you both like it or not, Am going to talk to this beautiful lady’ I replied and switched off my conscience
I was racking my brains for a good way to strike a conversation with her when an idea suddenly logged into my brain
I removed my wallet from my grey chinos trouser and opened it. I recounted the 20k inside and started soliloquizing gently
“7k for T.fare, 3k for breakfast, and this 10k for miscalleneous…” I made sure the corner of her eyes was watching me before I continued “I will use the ATM to withdraw 50k when I get down…gud as coffee” I smiled and inserted the wallet to my shirt’s left brest pocket
She started feeling uneasy and asked me of the time on my watch
“please can you check the time for me?” She asked politely
I looked at the dial of my gold Rolex watch and smiled mischiviously
“the time here says; The square of 4 is past the number before 8” I replied with a nonchallant tone
“uncle, you are funny o, is that what the time really says?”
“yes o, but if you want another interpretation, here we go, fifteen plus one mins past, 2 times 3 plus 1”
“gawd, like seriously? Never knew handsome guy like you don’t know what the time really says”
“sister the time is 7:16, no mind my friend jare, na excessMATH dey worry am” Jide cuts in from the back
The lady glanced back and appreciated Jide for bailing her out of the situation
“your friend seems nicer and handsome than you”.
“hmmm really? but the mirror will not agree with you on that, cos even a deaf blind man can see that my friend is the perfect photocopy of Segun Arinze”
“you dey madt!…na your papa kom fine? Hediot” Jide retorted
“oga driver abeg help us switch on the radio for the news o, make this talkatives let person hear word jare” One of Jide’s neighbours reiterated
The driver oblidged and the radio was turned on
There was silence in the cab except for the sound coming from the radio. We encountered a slight hold up at the ‘M’ letter of the journey and everybody started buying snacks and bread from the road hawkers
I bought 6breads with 6 sardines and 6 plastic Coke drinks for everybody and they all thanked me enormously
“never knew you were this nice, anyways thank you.” The lady remarked with a playful hit on my shoulder
“don’t mention, lets just say am always celebrating my birthday whenever I see a pretty lady like you”
“hmmm…what a nice man…by the way am Favour, and you?” she said stretching her hand for a handshake
I took her hand fondly and replied
“am RobertoJohnEdinsinSonOfThunderMagnanimateousdarousmart…” a startled look erupted on her face before I quickly added “but if you are having a hard time pronouncing all that, just call me DAROUSMART or simply Darous for the sake of your dazzling white teeths” I concluded with an amicable smile
Favour shook her head sideways slowly in total awe
“gawd! You are really something else…I wonder how your girlfriend is managing to cope with you” She stated with a questioning look
“G.F? It brings me great pain to tell you that, despite all my unrivalled handsomeness, that Girlfriend space still remains a vacancy in my delicate heart”
She was busy comprehending my statement when my whatsapp notification tone beeped and a message from Jide displayed on the screensaver. It reads as thus;
‘NA thunder go fire you for that lie, idiot, chai what of Joke?’
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