Tales of two funny ritualist - Season 1 - Episode 2

Episode 6 years ago

Tales of two funny ritualist - Season 1 - Episode 2

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We sat down at our begging spot with our suit shining under the sun and rags tied to our eyes.
Now i know you would be thinking that do beggars dressed in suit just to beg?

Truth is, we normally wear rags anytime we are running our business but yesterday which was Sunday, everything changed that Sunday.

FLASH BACK TO SUNDAY

We went to church as usuall dressed in a cool outfit. When we entered inside, we sat down in front sit, that’s our usuall sit so that the pastor would mark and know our face.

Flex: chaiii, Idris today service go tough o.

Me: i think, our sit no dey allow us to access clean clean babes oo..

Flex: na true o.

Me: abeg make we go sitdown for back sit.

Flex: but if we go back seat another person go take our chair.

Me: just put your bible make we go back go sit down.

We dropped our bible on the two plastic chairs indicating to others that those seat has been taken.

We strolled to the back seat and sat down.

Me: omo, see ynash na!!

I shouted with mouth agape.

Flex: i don die today oo. Fear yoruba girls oo. Chaiii, na ukwu be this?

Just then, one devil dressed in white cloth and black skirt came out and blocked our view.

Me: this girl dey craze oo..

I insulted the girl that came out from nowhere blocking our view. The two girls were ushers and it seems as if they are trying to arrange the sits.

That’s why i love coming to church very early. Most of our ushers are girls, girls were get big big ynash. That’s the main reason why i say i go marry for church. Make i just save enough money through our business first. so what we normally do every Sunday morning is to sit down and watch free HD live movie.

Well if na sin we dey sin make God forgive us.

Me: which kind rubbish be this?

Flex: na thunder go fire her self. See her ynash like mango were monkey don chop into two.

Me: see her head abeg, like something wey rat don dance ajasco ontop.

Flex: and she no want shift oo. Infact i don vex.

Donflex stood up and shouted.

Flex: heys, heys!

The girl turned back. But her face fine oo.. The thing be say her body too straight abeg.


Girl: erm can i help you sir?

Flex: pastor is outside, he said i should call you.

Girl: okay, thank you very much.
She said and ran out.

Me: Donflex the one and only badest guy.
I said as i playfully shook hands with Donflex.

Me: you no dey fear oo. See as you just sample her throw way.

Flex: she dey craze na. Why she go just dey block our view anyhow. She no dey fear?

Me: abeg make we continue dey watch our ynash.

Flex: na who be our?

Me: the ynash wey we do watch na. No be us dey watch the ynash since.

Flex: you dey mad! Ynash where na me first see na him you don dey claim sharp sharp. Thunder fire you.

I bent down quickly.

Me: i dodge am. So na just to share this ynash with me na im you don dey shout?

Flex: share wetin with you?

Me: the ynash.

Flex: all the ynash where you dey book you don ever share am with me?

Me: no be so na. Make we just share this..

Flex: *shouting* leave me joor, we no dey, sorry, i no dey share this ynash with you…
The girl walked to us.

Girl: na which ynash una dey share for inside church?

“gen gen”

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