Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

6 years ago

Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

“Flow make una dey come legendary bar na, me and Sammy dey there, make una dey come quick we don dey shayoh oh” “see us dey come”. That was a phone conversation between me and Angom.

“see wetin woman don cause me, shey dem swear for me? Abi na my fine boy dey decieve me” i was lost in my thoughts while we waited to board a bike to Legendary bar. I could feel serious pains in my solar plexus caused by the heavy punches i recieved. Just when i said i wanted no more disturbance from females. My phone rang, a female called.

It was my Mum. She was asking me how i was enjoying Ilesa, she inquired if i had no problems, i almost told her i had a “trailer load of problems”. I told her to always pray for me, a prayer i was sure would be answered by God.

We got to the bar in no time to meet a big round table of six guys, we joined them to make it eight. As we drank, i suddenly noticed that two of the guys were talking to themselves with baggar’s slang. “dem fit be baggar oh” i tot. I stood up and whispered to the ears of one of them to excuse me, that i wanted to talk to him.

I walked to the backyard of the bar where they sold weed. I ordered for two jumbo wraps of weed. I was already smoking mine when the guy came, i offered him the other wrap, he collected it and said, “ehen! Wetin be dat? wetin u wan yan with me?”, “Elele ti elele!!! I be ur brother oh, i be XYZ Flow, what of u?” i asked as i extended my hands for a handshake, “correct man!!! My name na Bad Pekin, i dey OAU, Aro mate!!!” he hailed as he “anchored” me in place of a handshake. I told him what i had been through in the hands of those eyeh boys, he asked if i wanted him to organise some boys that would deal with the eyeh boys. I told him the time was not ripe yet, that if they crossed my path again then i would fight back. “Aro MATE, we be their MATE?!!!!” He hailed. “How ordinary Eyeh boys go dey cook jellof rice for u, abi na bcos ur brodas no dey around? Eyeh no get mouth for OAU na” he said. To “cook jellof rice” is a slang in baggar that means to beat someone blue black. We exchanged contacts, and i promised to always keep in touch. I let out a puff of relief of the weed i was smoking.

As we went to join others drinking, he introduced me to his other friend that was also a baggar. We drank different expensive drinks ranging from Henessey to red label to Don simon to Baron de romero to even the dreaded ALOMO.

10pm, and it was time to go home. I knew i was going to throw up, bcos i made sure i had a taste of all drinks that was served. In my head, there was this Tick-tock sound i was hearing, it was as if there was a clock in my brain.

We walked home bcos it was late and we couldn’t get a bike. As we walked i felt my legs were heavy. I was walking like i was in outer space, and………………………… “gbaaaaoooooom” i landed in a nearby gutter