Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

6 years ago

Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

I woke up the next morning blasting Tupac–“better days” from my sound system, i was sure that day would be “better” than the previous day, or so i tot.

It was a thursday; our CDS day, so we didn’t go to sch. I prepared for CDS and left to the secretariat with my guys. I was a member of FRSC CDS group. After our Local government inspector had his usual 30minutes talk with us, our CDS President a.k.a Cadet in chief told us we would be going to do traffic control at Ilesa round about.

We all got to the round about and i was to control the traffic of a road that whoever was driving from my street to the round about would most definately follow.

“eeeh!! You hold on there, eeeh!! u move” i was giving command to road users. Just then, a Toyota Camry 2.2 was driving towards me at a high speed. I gave a sign for the car to stop, it didn’t stop but moved towards my direction wanting to knock me down. As it came closer, i was trying to decide which way to fall; by my right or by my left. Either ways, i was going to die, but the right side was a better way to die bcos the car would not roll over my body after knocking me down. “is the driver of this car drunk?” i tot to myself.

The car screeched to a halt about 10cm from where i stood; very close. I died for 10 seconds and ressurected.
“are u crazy?” i shouted. “yeah!! Am crazy, crazy for u” the person driving said bringing her head out of the car for me to see. The person driving was Ireti, Ireti and her friend Ronke. “haba!!! Ireti what kind of expensive joke is this? U almost knocked me off”, “common!!! I can’t knock u off darling Ugo, i just wanted to scare u a bit” Ireti said as they both burst into laughter. I gave way for them and they drove off still laughing. “una wan kill me abi, una dey laf abi? If i die who go satisfy una for bed?” i said after they had gone.
I played table tennis with my guys for like and hour that evening. I was tired of being beaten in the game, so i went straight to my room to watch a black American movie, Ilorin soon joined me.

We watched the movie into the night.

I prepared food, we ate and continued watching. When i suddenly had a big b’ang on my door.
“who be dat? U wan break the door?” Ilorin shouted. “if u no come open dis door, we go break am” a bass voice responded. My brain was sharp enough to know it was pay back time. It was the guy on dreadlock.

I tot of jumping through the window, but it was too late, as Ilorin had already opened the door. “wey that boy wey wan collect my babe? See am there, make una go show am pepper” the guy on dreadlocks ordered his friends. They dragged me like i was rag, “gba! Gba! Gbe! Gba! Gbo! Gbo!” they gave me hard punches. “bros make u no vex abeg i no know say na ur babe oh” i said as i saw blood dripped out of the corner of my mouth. “but i catch u as u wan arrange her for outside na, dis boy u too dey enter my trap oh, dis na the second time now, make una bring am make i burn him p’rick with this ligther” the ordered. His two friends dragged me to him and removed my trouser and boxers to reveal my D’ick. As he put on the lighter i saw green colour of fire coming out of the lighter in place of the usual yellow colour, or was it that my eyes were failing me considering the fact that i had been beaten to stupor? “dis ur p’rick big ooh” he said bringing the already on lighter closer to my D’ick………………………….. Ilorin stood up from where he was lying facing the floor and said, “eyeh brodas!! Omo blue!! make una forgive am, him no go do am again, abeg, abeg, him na my padi”. They must have recognised him as the guy that pleaded on my behalf the other day. “na ur padi ehn, warn am oh, warn am make him no come near my babe oh, if not, next time we go use him p’rick do suya” the dreadlock guy said as his friends freed me. I was saved by the bell. I almost lost my most precious d’ick. Ilorin saved me, for the second time