Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

Episode 6 years ago

Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

The next day was Saturday, so no school. I was at home, this time not smoking but thinking deeply. I was lying on my bed lost in tots that afternoon when i heard a knock on my door. “who b dat?” i asked the person who continued knocking. I went to see who it was. it was Kehinde, holding a polythene bag on her hand. “sir, may i come in?” she asked “yeah come in” i said as i noticed she was wearing a very h*ot mini skirt. “if u like n*aked come, i no go do anything, d wan wey i do yesterday my body still dey pain me” i said to myself as she sat on my bed. “sir, i brought you some things” she said handing the polythene bag to me, i opened the bag and i saw; Paw paw, Yam, beans, palm oil. “na me dis girl wan jaz? She don put Yoruba L*ove portion inside this things, i no go chop” i concluded. “thank u very much, and i Love Paw paw alot” i said and she smiled. She left my house after i had explained some physics topics to her, i didn’t “do” anything with her.

“Ilorin, see Yam, oil, beans and Paw paw oh, take am i dash u” i said as i handed the bag Kehinde brought to Ilorin, “mehn Flow beans and Yam go make sense to chop dis nite oh” he said, “e go make sense na, me i don already get plenty yam and beans for house, so instead of make dem begin spoil, i say make i come give u na” i lied. “nahim make me dey call u my main man!!” he said. “what of the Paw paw na, make i arrange am make we chop na?” he asked, “arrange am for urself oh, me i no dey like chop paw paw” i lied again. As he was rinsing the Paw Paw, i said to myself, “ehennn!!, if l*ove portion dey all this things wey Kehinde give me, na Ilorin e go catch, shebi him be Yoruba boy and Kehinde na Yoruba girl, dem go just marry”. As Ilorin took the first bite of the Paw Paw, i was eased a beat “Flow, taste am na, e sweet oh” Ilorin said directing the Paw paw to my lips. As the Paw Paw touched my upper lips, i was full of Fury and said, “you dey mad oh Ilorin, i don tell u say i no dey like Paw Paw, u come wan force am for my mouth” i said rubbing off my lips with my palm repeatedly. Just then, We saw two men walked boldly into Our Compound, they were Police men.


“which of u is Ojiga?” one of the police Men asked. At that moment i remembered there was weed in my pocket; weed i wanted to go smoke in Angom’s room later. “oga Officer, me na Ilorin, dis na Flow, Ojiga no dey here sir” Ilorin said rubbish. “my friend, where Ojiga dey?” the other police man shouted, “oga officer, na him room be that” i said pointing at Mama Alhaja’s room. As the Police men went in to bring out Ojiga, i suddenly had an urge to defecate, “why s*hit go dey worry me for dis wrong time” i said within me. As they were inside, i suddenly heard sound of a window being smashed.

The next odd sound i heard was a gun shot. They was a great stampede as i and Ilorin ran for cover at Ilorin’s room.

“abi dem don fire Ojiga gun?” i asked Ilorin “maybe oh, but thank God say Mama Alhaja no dey oh” Ilorin responded.
Suddenly we heard noises as if someone was draged out, what followed was a noise as if someone was pleading for mercy. Ojiga was draged out by the two Police men, i saw from the key hole of Ilorin’s Room that Ojiga sustained a gunshot injury in his right legs.

As they drew closer to Ilorin’s door, i felt urine come out of my p*enis
gradually. “where those two boys?” one of the police men asked. “we dey here oh” Ilorin answered even before the question was asked. “make una come out here” the other police man commanded cracking his gun. On hearing the cracking of the gun, we both jumped out with our hands raised above our heads. “oga officer we no be theif, we dey stay for this house, Ojiga na Our friend” i said what implicated us instantly, “Ojiga na ur friend ehn? Well we go arrest una two make una go write statement as na only una dey dis compound, Ojiga una Friend na big theif” one of the Police men said. “no sir him no be our friend oh” Ilorin cried. “as far as say him dey stay una compound, him be una friend be that” the police man concluded. “Why Angom, Kelvin and Sammy no dey house sef?” i asked myself. All these happened very fast that i forgot to remove the weed from my pocket. When i remembered, it was too late as we were already moving to their police van parked outside. “weed dey my pocket and i dey go police station, what if dem search me there, wetin i go talk?” i asked myself.