Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

Episode 6 years ago

Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

I got to the hostel after the tiring journey by 6pm, meanwhile i met Sammy, Angom & Kelvin at home and i was told Ilorin was on his way from ilorin.

I opened my dusty room, kept my bags and properties, looked around and concluded i wouldn’t sleep there tonight bcos rat sh*it was everywhere, “rat don play champions league for this room as i no dey oh” i said while locking the door and heading for Angom’s room where i would pass the nite.

As i entered his room Angom said “e get wetin i wan show u flow” “na wetin be that” i queried when i saw him bringing out a polythene bag full of something, “wetin be dis” i asked, “na weed na, a.k.a ituara” he said as i instantly smiled, “bad benue boy! So u bring weed all d way from benue” i said. “we get am plenty for our farm na” he said while bring out r*itzler.

As we smoked Angom told me that the landlady of the house; an old woman of about 80 stays directly opposite my room, that she wasn’t around the last time we came that was why we didn’t see her. I went to greet the old woman who i learn’t was called “Mama Alhaja” bcos she was a moslem. As i came to continue smoking, i noticed i was famished so i suggested “make we cook indomie with weed na, i bring indomie oh” “no wahala, bring am, me sef dey hungry” Angom said. I brought the indomie, he started cooked it garnishing it with some eggs and of course weed, while the food was almost done, ilorin arrived, Sammy and Kelvin also came in one after the other complaining that they were hungry. “make una no worry, the indomie go reach all of us” i said while helping Ilorin bring his belongings to his room. Soon the indomie was done and we all started eating, as we were half way through the first plate i suddenly remembered that Sammy and Kelvin doesn’t smoke weed and they were eating a food prepared with weed, just then Ilorin look at me and i winked at him not to say a word as it was too late, i just wanted to see the drama unfold. “me and Sammy enta sch today oh, d principal say all of us must report for sch tomorrow” Kelvin said “no wahala, we go show for sch na, thank God say all of us don come back” i assured. Just then, Sammy said “wetin una use cook dis indomie, e sweat oh” “na the new indomie wey dey reign now, the indomie company just produce am, e just dey enta market, u never see am?” i lied “i never see am oh” Sammy said. “but why all dis tin wey b like leaf come dey am na?” Kelvin asked, “na so d company do am oh” Angom lied. We finished first plate, as we were “downing” the second plate, i saw Sammy’s eyes closing, i looked at Kelvin, same thing. Sammy droped his spoon and fell to bed like a plywood, Kelvin followed saying, “my belle dön full abeg” “ur belle never full, na u head don full” i said in my mind. As we entered the third plate Ilorin droped his spoon also saying “una know say i just dey come from journey, i don tayah, make i sleep” “na lie ur liver don fail u” i said as he smiled at me and slept ön the floor. We entered the fourth plate and i said “u dis benue boy, u no wan give up abi, u think say ur brain strong pass my own abi” “my brian ströng pass ur own na, u get brain” Angom said. I ate five spoons from the fourth plate when suddenly.

That night i had a terrible dream, i dreamt me and Juliet were sailing on a ship together to an unknowm destination when suddenly the ship started capsizing, Juliet couldn’t swim so i tried my best to drag her along with all my strength as i swam to the shores of the mighty ocean, a whale was swiming right behind us trying to get us and eat us for lunch. I swam faster and faster to the shore, but it seems as if the more i swam, the farther the shore was. And final we got to the shore, i was very happy we reached on time before the whale got us. “u saved my life” Juliet said with great relief “my love, thank God that big whale didn’t get us” i said as i was breathing out faster. I cuddled juliet r*omantically, my lips was longing to k*iss her. We kissed and……………. “Sammy why u wake me like dat na, na now wey i wan do d main tin nahim u go wake me, u be bad belle oh” i cursed in a low voice after been waken by Sammy, “u be mumu, u just dey k*iss Agom n*yash since” Sammy said and laughed loudly at me, as i instantly looked to the spot i slept, i noticed i slept directly facing Agom’s a*ss, “nyamah!! na true oh” i said feeling iritated. “Abeg make all of una wake up make we dey go sch, we don late” Sammy shouted. Immediately he said that i glanced at the wall clock it was past 8.