Must Read: Diary Of A Broke Playboy

Episode 6 years ago

Must Read: Diary Of A Broke Playboy

“Did you tell her of abortion?”
I looked at him and shook my head.

“She didn’t even wait for the suggestion, she just change am for me when she suspected that I will bring it up.”

“Guy serious Fork up.”
“Yea, Dad will just throw me over the balcony,” I murmured, shedding internal tears.

“No he won’t,” he replied.

“You sure?”
“Yea, he said he no longer needs stress with his children.”

“Thank God,” I said and heaved a sigh of relief.

“Yes, he is only going to shoot you, he just bought a pump action.”

Willie was wicked in a sort, he just dropped it casually like shooting someone was the same thing as flogging him.

“See what we are going to do now,” he started and I paid rapt attention, hoping he wasn’t going to misyarn.

“Yes?”
“We will go to Dad’s office.”
“What for?”
“Listen now, abi do you prefer going home first where both him and mom will jointly roast you like roadside maize?”
I shook my head, I had better go with his plan, he was the next man after my father and I believed he controlled some authority.
“We will settle with dad, then we get home, he can help us fix mum.”
“Yea, you made sense.”
I always knew Willie was a great asset.
“We will talk to Rita too, she will help us.”
“Rita will Finish me naa,” I protested.
“Yes but she will also help, just relax, you only got her pregnant, you didn’t kill her.”
I fell back on the bed and hissed. I knew K!ttyC@t was going to kill me one day but I never expected it to be Chinaza’s own.
“So when are we going to see Dad?” I asked getting up from the bed.
“After I get this girl that just left with Naza.”
He was devouring the only star in my fridge.
“She is a virgin bro.”
He smiled at me and nodded.
“I have readjusted my standards, I am the new Isreal.”
“Israel kwa?”
He nodded again and smiled.
“I will tear down that wall of Jericho.”
I sighed and fell back on the bed. The next picture on my mind was me and shape on the bed after Willie must have opened her. Jeez, I swear I will be the worst father on earth.
He stood up from the chair and walked outside, probably after shape. He hadn’t been gone for more than 30 seconds before Chinaza bursted into my room, holding his hand, against his wish.
“Are you guys done?” she asked me as I stared at them. I nodded and she made Willie take a sit.
“Now, lets discuss about my own issue.”
“What issue?” Willie asked.
“My family, how will I tell them about it?”
“It’s very easy, you just walk up to them and yarn them what’s up.”
That was Williams.
“Maybe you should help me, I will appreciate,” Chinaza replied him, rolling her eyes.[B] “Have you told Chinelo?” I asked and she nodded.

“I told her when the result came out.”
“What did she say?”
“That I am finished,” she answered casually. I had almost forgotten about her parents.

“Fine, I will be there, maybe tomorrow, we will move from dad’s office to your dad’s.” I said and she put down her head, sobbing without tears.

“What now?” I asked.

“God I am finished. My Mom thinks I am still a virgin.”

I don’t know why I didn’t laugh at that, it was damn funny.


Williams took us out in the evening, Me, Chinaza, James and Shape. Somehow, my brother meandered his way into shapes cubicle, shape was all over him in the end. That boy is a magician.

It was at the peak of the moment that I learnt Shape’s real name was Chinaza.

I am as amazed as you are.

For a moment, everything seemed normal, Chinaza’s pregnancy was thrown to the background while we had the fun of our lives. Willie had come with mom’s car and so it was a little high key.


I spent the rest of the night prophesying my undying love for Chinaza. I was drunk and high but she wouldn’t bulge, she needed no second pregnancy and when the chips were down. It turned out that Shape was never a virgin, maybe her asshole is still sealed but her K!ttyC@t was as open as the temple.


I was only pained at what I had missed for almost a year.