Must Read: Diary Of A Broke Playboy

Episode 6 years ago

Must Read: Diary Of A Broke Playboy

James searched her with his eyes and nodded.
“Yes, maybe she wants to be a model.”

Shape was entirely indifferent. Chinaza made me sit beside her on the bed. James left while shape joined us on the bed. I was preparing for a wonderful 3some in my mind but got something else. Something I didn’t like one bit.

“Chi something happened.”

That was shape talking to me like I just lost my wife and she was loaded with the burden of giving me the news, well, Naza was there so obviously, I hadn’t lost my wife. Lol
“What happened?” I asked, sharing glances between her and Naza.

“It’s chinaza, she fell sick last month, that was before her birthday.”

“Why didn’t she say that when we came for the party?” I asked trying to hide the fear that was cropping up in my mind, I was hoping and praying fervently that she didn’t have HIV.

“Because it wasn’t serious then, so telling you was unnecessary,” Naza replied in a way that spooked me seriously, you should see the look on her face, real scary.

“So now what? Do you have HIV?” I asked and she shot me a glance.

“No I don’t,” she retorted and eyed me suspiciously ” Chinecherem, do you have?”

“Of course not, where will I get it when you don’t have.”

“Well, She went to the hospital, I followed her actually,” shape continued.

“Ehee,” I was getting impatient.

“And tests were done,” shape said slowly, my suspension reaching it’s zenith. Does she have cancer? If so, I was hoping it wasn’t cancer of the K!ttyC@t or b0s0m.

“I am pregnant,” Chinaza cried out eventually. If she had said cancer of the K!ttyC@t and b0s0m at the same time, I would have preferred it.

My mind rushed back to the previous year, yea, when we all fell sick and she came back with the pregnancy joke. My mind clicked, yea, the date was April 5th. I smiled and looked at the two of them. I caught them in time. My racing heart slowed down a bit.

“Baby, it’s April 5th today, your joke came late,” I said, grabbing her hand, she flipped my hands away and sniffed.

“I am not joking, I am pregnant, Bleeping pregnant Chinecherem.”

Like she was crying and her beautiful light face was red. She obviously wasn’t joking so the April fool thing was a sham.


“For who?”

Jeez, I didn’t even know when I asked her that, the look she gave me was out of this world. I half prayed for her to say it’s James or Shape, YES! Shape!! anybody but me!!!

“Don’t you dare ask me that again,” she almost yelled out. Obviously, it was me. The room went dark and my head was spinning 360 degrees, I could hear Nigerian police siren blasting in my ear, my right early only, my left ear wasn’t even hearing any sound.

I stood up from the bed and made my way to James room. I didn’t even know how I managed to get there because I wasn’t even seeing the road at all.

“Guy what’s up?” James asked as I walked in, he was leaning over his plate of over soaked garri.

“I don’t know guy, Shape and.. and Chinaza, they are in my room,” I was stuttering as I spoke.

“Yes, I know they are in your room, what happened? Are they doing lezzy?”

“No, Naza was saying something, errm, she was saying something about something, James I don’t know,” I Stopped and took a deep breath while James watched me like I was doing a Basket Mouth something.

“Just go in there and find out what Naza was saying, then come back and tell me because I didn’t even understand what she told me.”

“Ok, I will go, but don’t touch my garri,” he warned and left, if only he knew that the garri looked like Shtt to me at that moment.

I crashed on the bed and gazed at the roof.

My mother’s favorite advice to my brother and I was banging hard against my head.

“Umu m, any man that a woman doesn’t kill will surely live out his God allotted time on earth.”

But It’s Chinaza, my only true Love, she can’t kill me.

My head was popping like pop corns as I sat there, imagining how I will break the news to my people.

My Mom will just shout the living daylight out of me. I don’t know what my father will do.

James came back looking more confused than I was.

“Guy what was she saying?” I asked him.

“That she is pregnant for you and she wasn’t joking o.”

“Guy is that even possible? I mean are you sure I am not impotent?”

Anything that would null and void the possibility of my being the owner of the pregnancy was welcomed. James just looked at me like I was going mad.

“Wetin you mean, guy you are potent in Jesus name.”

“Amen but guy, do you think the something is mine?”

” It should be naa, I think you are the only one Bleeping her.”
We both sat on the bed

, staring away.

“Maybe you should call Williams,” James suggested and I nodded, that was the most coded thing to do.

“I have to get my phone, it’s in my room.”

I opened the curtains to my room and peeped in, I was obviously expecting Naza to grin at me and say it was all a prank but she didn’t, she was sitting on the bed with Shape, staring at the TV, she had stopped crying.

“What do you want to do now?” I asked her as I got to her on the bed. She looked at me and shook her head.

“I don’t know.”

I stared at her for a few seconds, she returned my stares and her countenance changed.

“No way, I am not aborting him.”

I was yet to find out how she keeps reading my mind through my eyes.

“I wasn’t saying that.”

“But you were thinking it, please I won’t abort him.”

“Him? You already know it’s a boy?”

Something was telling me that she was enjoying the whole pregnant something. Shape was having the laugh of her life at the side.

She just let out a weak smile and threw herself into my hands while I called Williams.

“Hello, young man, how are you?” Willy bassed into my ears


.
“Guy I no dy, you fit enter my lodge?”
“Ermm, wetin happen, you give woman belle?”
That was funny.

“Yes, I give woman belle, abeg come tomorrow.”

He laughed, he probably thought I was joking.

“See you and your impotent prick, I dy come tomorrow.”

We dropped the phone and I wished I was impotent. Lol