Must Read: Diary Of A Broke Playboy

Episode 6 years ago

Must Read: Diary Of A Broke Playboy

So today i saw a girl, a young girl, damn she was hot. She wore this short skirt that shot her laps out like hot live bullets, the sexiness of those laps can set the eyes on fire, and it was her selling point. Two hot laps plugged to a wide hotter hips shooting out a protruding butt0ckz out the back, jeez i could choose that figure over Beyonce’s face. Her upper body wasn’t bad either, full breasts struggling to jump out of a skimpy dress. As we all know, not all girls can have that killer figure and still get a cute face to match, except a selected few.


It was either a cute face for you and a slim body or a hot body and not so cute face. This particular girl had the body but her face tried shaa. But wor dah fuur, i can as well cover her face and do her, i don’t think the man down there, i mean that niggar, the one wey Brymo say hin no get shoulder, yea the prick, i don’t think he cares about the face. That girl apart let’s go straight to the issue at hand.

So after that mind wrecking event that took place in my room that night between me and Jennifer, i seemed to have lost my appetite for girls and now brush my teeth 3 times a day, i have stopped shaa, since i noticed that my toothpaste finished easily since i commenced that practice and since i had no money to spend on toothpastes,i just brushed with toothpaste and brush once a day and the rest of the time i just chew stick. I didn’t enjoy it, just that after seeing a girl i literally licked her mouth spit that thing out, my mouth developed a new kind of taste that wasn’t so pleasing.


I don’t know if it was my mind playing games on me or whatever but then i brush 3 times a day.

James and Shape never for once spared me the details of that nights affairs especially whenever i’m having a go at them.

Shape was a perfect actress, she would give me a short play on my reaction that day while James gave the vocals perfectly, it didn’t get stale and trust me, it wasn’t funny.

School closed on 22nd of December and everyone went home. I got to the house, the first thing i did was break my engagement with Amara. I decided i needed to sacrifice something to God for denying the devil the chance to ridicule me via Jennifer.

So i went for midnight mass. Started by 10pm, i was in league with the Holy Spirit as i went to church with my Bible in my right hand and my Holy rosary in my left hand, i was ready to cast out and bind the devil of womanization in my life, i was going to be born anew along with Christ and that was my new year resolution.
With a delicious hymn banging in my heart, i went into the church and found a seat for myself.

The service went smoothly and i was committed to it. The officiating priest’s sermon was direct from heaven, it touched the softest part of my heart that no girl had gotten to, not even my first crush.

So i was busy being in the spiritual mood when this daughter of eve from where i do not know, not minding the fact that she was late to church still had the guts to be swinging her fine butt0ckz in the face of everybody, especially mine walked in. The Lord forbid that the devil will mess up this day for me. I decided i wasn’t going to be tempted today, not today.

I wouldn’t have been tempted though if the girl had respected herself and found another seat but no, this piece of unbroken fine china decided the seat in front of me was the best for her.

She was undeniably beautiful on her long black gown. Chocolate in complexion and smooth skinned. Perky b0s0m and curvy hips graced her body, my exact full course meal. Either the Holy Spirit had left me or he was also admiring this piece with me. I fought and fought and was conquered. The rest of the service wasn’t even for me. This girl replaced my Bible.

I looked at her more than i looked at the Holy book. Church service rounded up by 1 am.

In my rush to interact with the girl i almost left my spiritual properties behind. Since i wasn’t successful in being born again, i had to know that girl, i can’t come and go and lose on both sides naa.
“Merry xmas” i said as i walked up to her, my Bible clutched under my armpit and my rosary in my pocket.

“Wish you the best”
“Are you from this side”
“yes, why do you ask”
“Nothing really, just that I have not seen something like you in this part before ”
” Hmmm, Something like me?” she said and looked at me.

“Exquisite, you look take away”
“Thank you”.

“Welcome, i’m already liking you but don’t take it to heart, i tend to fall in life with pretty things easily “.

It was night and she was dark but i could see the blush on her.

” Hmm, you don’t even know my name and you are liking me already”
“I can like you without a name, i even have a name for you sef”.

She laughed and i smiled.

“What name?”
“moonshine”
“Moonshine?”
“Yea, your face shines in the darkness ”
” What’s your own name? ”
” Chimnaechelum”. I tried to make it sound Sekxy.

“Nice name ”
” thanks”
So we got to where we were supposed to part ways, i realized that i had been top busy talking nonsense that i forgot to collect her number earlier on. I asked for it, she said no, said that we would still see, i asked where, she said she lived around, i should ask people about her. We said our Good nights and second merry xmas and i started running home before they lock the doors on me. I was on my way home when it hit me that I don’t even know the girls name, how do i ask people about her. Mtcheeeew.


Instead of getting her name, i was busy giving her a new one(which kind carelessness be that na). So eventually, born again i no born, get the girl i no get. Angrily i walked home almost stumbling to the ground more than once.

I got home and met Amara in the parlor, she Just got back from the church.

“Brother happy Christmas”.
She said that with a frown on her face.

She was still bitter with me ever since i dumped her.
“Wish you the best, come to my room sharp sharp” i said and ran upstairs leaving her behind in confusion. She came in some minutes later.

“Are you in your period?” i asked her.
“No”
“Lock the door and come “…

I broke my new year resolution before i had even gotten to new year…..