Must Read: Life Of A Broke Naija Graduate

7 years ago

Must Read: Life Of A Broke Naija Graduate

I was confused, even though I had started developing feeling for Shina, I was never ready for some kind of poo.
“Shina, let us take things easy”
“This is me, and here is you, I’m 31 for Petes’ sake, do you expect me to start begging and wooing you like a kid?” He lied on the bed in anger and soaked under the duvet, I mean blanket. I was up for a moment thinking if my life. I was a blunt broke liar and my lying game took me nowhere. You have to lie to cover a lie. I’d leaving a fake like since my uni days and it never paid me. I’d lose a reasonable amount of good suitors because I could not afford to take them to my parent after bragging about being a rich kid. A good example was Victor, Victor was an IB boy, he was a rich coded yahoo guy and believed I was a banker, after gaining a substantial amount from his yahoo plus business, he decided to open an account with access bank where he believed I was working, I was able to cover up till when I couldn’t and he knew I was never working in Access bank… I tried to cover up and that was when he asked to meet my parents, that was where kasala busted and I could not get a tangible lie to tell, I opened up and told him about my real parents, he broke up with me immediately but his words hurt more, he said he was dating me because he thought I was from a rich home and. Could not stoop too low dating the daughter of a village illiterates. He went ahead and got married to a lady close to my house. I made up my mind right then never to open up who my real parents were to any man. After all, I could rent parents.
“Do you have to think about it this much?” I heard Shina said as he pushed up into the sitting position. It sounded more like “do you have to think about being Forked this much?”.

He drew me so close that I was afraid he would swallow me.

” I love you, Riri”
“I want you to carry my babies” “not someone who had over three known abortions” Truth being told, I had six abortions before I met Shina, I knew instantly I was not the best for him.
“Shina, let us take things slow. I understand how you’re feeling but we shouldn’t rush” I said as I withdrew myself from him.
“Okay. I’ll give you from now till tomorrow”
“That is better” before I could blink, Shina had kissed me, and right on that spot, my body and soul was vibrating, I felt a chemistry which I’ve never felt for a guy in ages. He noticed my strange feelings and stopped.
“I’m sorry, Riri. I never meant to go far.” He begged with an embarrassment look.
“I understand..” I said laying in the bed.
“Goodnight, my woman” he said as he la!d down facing the opposite direction. I relaxed so well thinking about the kiss and Shina. I felt strange, I was scared of S£x for the first time in my life.I was afraid Shina was going to wake me up in the middle of the night and forced me to S£x. He was not sleeping neither, he kept tossing around till I feltasleep around 2am . I dreamt about getting married to Shina in a big way, and guess what, my parents came in the middle of the reception. I fainted on seeing them and Shina was shooking me trying to wake me up
“My woman, wake up” I opened my eyes just to see myself in bed and Shina standing over me fully dressed. I was disappointed, I wanted to go back and sleep, I love my dream..
“Shina, are you up already?”
“Yes Honey. I’m going home right now,something came up” he said adjusting his wristwatch.
“To do what” I sprang up, deepdown, I love his company and I wanted to be with him more especially because of food.
“Mum needs me, I’ll be back in a jiffy” he pecked me n left my room. I slept a little more and decided to do some chores, I swept the room and on unlocking my door, I heard doors cracking and people coming out, I opened the door and the first person who greeted me was Sheyi.

Sheyi was my next door neighbour, he was so fake that even his hairstyle was fake, he also was a perfect ‘runsboy’who makes money from servicing old women, dear readers, Sheyi was a liar, serial cheat, womanbeater, imposter and a ‘yahooyahoo’ he afforded a tainted black Toyota ‘pencillight’ Camry and to him, it was a baby, the car was his wife. He was a university dropout but lied to everyone that he was a masters student in EKSU. I did not believed him, he knew I knew he knew I never believed him, he could boast for Europe. He tried to avoid me always especially the day I caught him with our co-tenant’s wife and also our Almighty Onome, he hated me and was always doubting my lifestyle.

For the first time in 2015, he greeted me’
“Riri, morning to you” he approached smiling, I noticed almost everyone in the house was around that Friday morning and I knew their reason: APROKOS.
“Morning, Sheyi”
“I fetched those two jerrycans for you when water came” I was surprised, everyone murmured. One thing about Sheyi, he would not do anything for you for free and if he did, you’re going to pay in a way you never expected.

A case study was when Mr. Onabisi, a former neighbour traveled to Onitsha and on his arrival, Sheyi went to pick him from the park, it was later when Mr. Onabisi sent his wife packing and later packed out of the house that we knew Sheyi was smashing Mrs. Onabisi and the day he went to pick the husband, they strafed.

Immediately, I knew he was up to something but trust me,I was smarter. “Thanks” I said
“You are welcome.” He said grinning,”more so, I want to see you later.”

He said and left.

“Aunty Riri, how’s your visitor” it was Mama Susan who asked.
“Which one” I asked. By now, all my neighbours were either leaning on the railings or standing by their doorpost and little who were matured were peeping through their windows.

Mama Susan was our street back bitter, she was married to Baba Susan, an Hausa man who was a ‘mekanika ejiniarin”(mechanical engineer) like his wife would say. She was a fullhouse wife and it gave her all the time needed to pokenose into others affairs. She could open her mouth and say anything to anyone at anytime. There was an instance which happened few months back when Onome was strafing ‘Magic fingers’, another internet fraudster in my street and one Mr. Hammed, a banker, Magic fingers had a girlfriend who was schooling in EKSU who was a living-in girlfriend while Mr. Hammed was married, Mama Susan told Magic finger’s girlfriend Onome’s escapades when they were both making hair at a salon down the street, what actually happened was that, Onome was close to Caro, Magic finger’s girlfriend and took her as her street sister,so Caro was at the salon making hair when Onome walked in, greeted her and left, that was when mama Susan opened the can of worms, how magic fingers would sneaked into our compound, how Onome was visiting him while Caro was in school and how they would go to an hotel and straffed in his car. Caro, being a crazy Ado babe left the Salon without finishing her hair and went to ask Magic fingers if they were all true, he denied it but Caro had plans already, she offered to pay Mama Susan a substantial amount to track them down and call her anytime they were together, Mama Susan declined the money and promised to help her for free.

The d-day came and it was on a Saturday evening, Magic fingers came into our compound under the guise of coming to seeSheyi but later sneaked into Onome’s room, trust Mama Susan, she called Caro immediately and it happened…