Must Read: Life Of A Broke Naija Graduate

7 years ago

Must Read: Life Of A Broke Naija Graduate

It was Onome! Let me tell me a lil about Onome. Onome was a professional, dirty and shameless LovePeddler. She goes after everything under pants.. When I say pants, I mean PANTS. p@anties ranging from boxers to pants. She was bisexual that is she does both males and females. It was through Onome that I knew it was through that Edo women loves pricks. She dated our landlord,our house agent,co-tenants and street guys. She cared less if you were married or single. She would date both husbands and wives and some even hired her for 2-3sums. She was a Lovepeddler! But one thing about her, I was a thorn in her flesh.

She never believed I was what I said I was, she would stalk me just to know my true identity but trust me, I was smarter. My makeups customers was hers, so was my “benddown select” customer.

Onome was discussing with Shina who was sitting on a stool and surrounded by my neighbours.
“I’ve met you somewhere” she was talking to Shina in a tone I’ve never seen her used on a guy.
“I? Where was that?”
“I don’t know, where are you staying”
“I’ve been in this town.”
“Oh… Maybe in Prosperous”
“I’ve never been there”” I’m new in this area”
“Oh really, where were you staying before.

Maybe it was from there we met.”
“Been in the states but was in Lagos earlier” This drew the attention I needed, my neighbours marvelled upon hearing Shina was from the states. I felt highlighted and earned more respect… Atleast as a banker dating a Londoner. I withdrew Shina from the crowd and took him in.
“You’ve got a nice apartment” he commented searching through my room.
“Thanks”
“Your neighbours are fun to be with especially the fair lady”
“Be careful of her. She’s dangerous.”
“Someone here is jealous.” He rolled his eyes blushing.
“About who and how?”
“You better tell me the truth. You’re falling already…”
“What can I offer you…” That was my greatest mistake, why would I ask such question when I had nothing at home, not even sachet water. I blamed myself for trying to change the topic.
“Anything would do.”
“But… But… I’ve nothing at home right now. Just planning to get some tomorrow.”
“Is there any fast food close by?”
“Captain cook is at Fayose.”
“Let’s go there.” Before I could say jack Robinson,he was up dragging me out.
“Do you want me to go out this way?” I asked immediately we got into the car.I was wearing a bumshot and croptop.
“I love my woman looking hot and Sekxy.”
“But this is Ado not Lag or wherever.”
“I care less.”He ignited and off we went. I was reminiscing on the ” my woman” thingy.

We got some food and Suya and ate, I wanted to ask if his car was the same I saw yesterday when his phone rang
“Hello”
“Get the Fork off, I ain’t coming home till u guys r in d right senses.”
“You don’t command me like some kids, I’m a grown up, man”
“I ain’t in no hotels, I’m with my woman” I was alarmed.
“Believe me, you ain’t seeing me till I return to the states.”
“Get the Fork of my phone” he said and hung up.
“Who was that?” I asked silently.
“My mum” he replied burning with fury.
“You mean you’re addressing your mum like that?”
“Riri, I was the one you saw in the afternoon” he caught me off guard. I never knew he was reading my mind.
“How? Why didn’t you talk to me then?”
“I was with that witch.”he was now on his feet angrier than ever.
” Your mum?”
“Aderin, marry me.” He stressed these word looking so pale. I didn’t believed my ears,we’d seen for the second time and Londoner was talking about marriage. It sounded like “Aderin, maga me” rather than marry me.
“What are you talking about?” I asked trying to conceal the confusion written all over my face.
“Riri, when I met you, I felt this kinda chemistry you feel while in love. You see, I’m 31 and unmarried, I’m in Nigeria to get a wife but my parents ain’t helping me.”
“How?”
“Marry me, we’re getting married before next month ends and going back to the states in two months.”
“Is that a command?”
“No, I’m being straight. I can’t stoop to the level of wooing a woman. We’re adults, matured adults”” I am going to take care of you. I wanna use you to get back to my parents”
“Your parents? How?
” Riri, I knew you saw the lady in my car! She was the hoe my parents want for me. How could they expect me to marry a lady all because we promised to love and marry each other while we were young… Accepted I deflowered her and she aborted my baby but she is a Lovepeddler! She was going after all men in UNILAG while I was away and had several other abortions.” He was now shouting so Loud that I feared my neighbours were eavesdropping.
“Yeah, I loved her but I love her no more. Riri, it’s you I want”” you’re so decent and promising.” His last comment was a lie. I knew I was not decent, I was a corporate LovePeddler in UNILAG too. I was still into “ashewo business till that moment even if it was codedly.