Must Read: Confessions of a Funaab Yahoo Boy - Season 1 - Episode 10

7 years ago

Must Read: Confessions of a Funaab Yahoo Boy - Season 1 - Episode 10

A day to the commencement of our exams. G-money called. He said something had clicked and it’s worth $1m. And that the three of us should come down to Ibadan if we want to partake of it. He also said he had already processed everything but it seemed EFCC was having an eye on his account so he wants to use the Domiciliary account(Abisoko, Uchenna and i) to move the money. He said he was ready to give us N50m out of the money. “As I heard N50m, na so my head pop like popcorn.” But G-money said we should come down to Ibadan the next day and spend like 3 days in Ibadan for everything to be finalized. “And the next day, the three of us were starting our exams.” The 3 days we go spend, we get 3 courses for those days. My other two guys were ready to go but I refused. At a time, part of me began encouraging me to go, leaving the exam I have for those days. “After all carry over no dey kill person.” I could still write it the other year. At least if I have N15m from the N50m that would be our share, I go finish our house for Ilorin.

Poverty na b-----d.” But Another part of me thought I wasn’t making the right decision. “Even my two guys encouraged me to come. The next year we go just write the 3 courses.” After thinking about it for a while, I decided to follow them because I was very important in the team. The account G-money was going to use am signatory to it.
We left for Ibadan that evening. When we got to Ibadan at G-money’s house, mehn, I couldn’t believe my eyes at what I saw. “That was why he’s called G-money. Na 7 gatemen with guns na im the guy get.” It was a duplex with great interior. CCTV camera full every were. He even had a daughter. He said she came to visit him and his boys would soon take her back to her mother soon.

The little girl looked much like him with Wide jaw and flat nose. G-money said most of his goons had travelled out of the country so he and some other guys were left alone in the house. That evening, we began the work we came there to do with so many online transactions. He sent someone to get us food and other packages.
The next morning, funke’s call woke me up. She asked if I was in school. I told her I was at a friend’s place reading and was ready for the exams. Because it was an e-exam, and all of us partake in that course together. Funke said I should come and meet her at a place after the exam. I agreed even when I was lying. She no know saw I no dey around.
Few hours later funke called back and said she was at my house and the place was locked. He asked where I was. I told her I was at the hostel inside the school. “Shebi I said you should come and meet me at a place, why didn’t you come?” she asked. I told her that I forgot and apologized. She said she was coming down to the hostel and she needed to see me. I asked what she wanted to see me for, but she said she just want to see me. “Dis one na serious gobe and I no dey hostel. I dey Ibadan.” I told her that she shouldn’t come to hostel that will be soon leaving because a lecturer sent me on an errand. I told her not to worry that I would come to see her that evening. Na so she cut the call angrily. We continued our work in Ibadan.

Evening came, funke called. I brought up another excuse that I was in one of the lecturer’s house helping to arrange experimental samples. I had to switch off my phone completely till Wednesday. Everything had been finished. G-money used an agent in U.S who used Paypal to make all the transactions faster. So I went to banker Jide through the bank and transferred the money, G-money’s share to his own account. Uchenna said I should leave our own so we go back to Abeokuta first before sharing it. After finishing our exams, we would do the sharing.
We got back to Abeokuta. I tried reading for the remaining courses I had for exams, but the book no dey enter. I no fit read again. I visited funke that day. She was so furious and said my mobile line was not going through. I apologized and told her that I was in the hostel reading. And she said she searched all the boys hostels and didn’t see me. I no even talk anything. We shah settle the matter. I spent couple of hours with her before leaving.
After the exams, we shared our money. Na N16m reach my hand. I was so happy and feeling fly. I had never seen that kind of account statement in my life. Funke had already been noticing some changes in me, in dressing and talking, character. It was more glaring with my 2 guys. I decided to be calm, I didn’t want to just show off myself.

I gave funke N20,000 when she was going back home for the long break. I felt like giving her more but I didn’t want unnecessary questions.
People had started travelling back to their homes. Our (Uchenna, abisoko and i) plans was to spend the holiday at Ibadan with G-money. This was to help us gain more connection and also work together. I rushed home to Ilorin. I sat my mom down and explained to her that I had started a new business that would be making me travel a lot. I told her there was a lot of money in it and I won’t be staying much in Ilorin. Though she was uneducated but I briefed her a little on forex. She asked if it wasn’t going to disrupt my academics. I told her it wasn’t. She advised me so well and prayed for me. I told her that the business was what I was doing that is giving me money in school. She was so happy. How I wished she knew that that wasn’t what I was really doing.

I and my mom made arrangements to start building. Within one week, we drilled borehole on our land. The way my mom was watching me spend money. She began asking if the business I was doing was the one giving me that kind of money. I told her “yes ooo.” We got a good engineer who help us with the plan of the building. I wanted a duplex and boys quarters inside the compound. At first I wanted only our house in the compound. But I considered that it would be lonely for my mom. At least there should be tenants to keep the house lively.
I handed our house building project to Engineer kole, told my mom to monitor more often as she wasn’t doing anything. I had stopped her from her akara sales.

After everything in Ilorin, I went to Ibadan to join my goons at G-money’s house.
Life in G-money’s house was wonderful. Yahoo yahoo Work in the day and party at night. We got beautiful women tripping for us. We splash huge amount of money on drinks and women. I also got someone who started teaching me forex and mini importation business. He comes from Apata to our place every morning for one month. And I grasped so well.
This particular morning, my mom called me that our building was massively progressing. I rushed to Ilorin to see it. I had budgeted N12m for the cost of the whole thing. And I paid Engr. Kole N5m. I did that to make the building project fast so I could focus my attention on another thing. The building had gotten to linter level. The building project made me not to get a car. I was so impressed with the extent the building had gone within one month. “When there is money, everything moves fast.” I spent about 3 days in Ilorin and returned to Ibadan.

Things were moving fine. We (abisoko, Uchenna and i) had started looking for another maga, it was pretty hard. But the money coming that period was between $1000 and $3000. But wetin man wan do!
Barely 2 weeks I visited Ilorin to see our building, my mom called me to say that the whole building had collapsed. I wasn’t myself when I heard it. I had to rush down to Ilorin and saw things myself. When I got to the sight, I felt like crying. We all blamed Engr. Kole for it. Infact we even arrested him with the help of Kwara state ministry of lands. Everything was settled within two months outside the court. Engr. Kole was asked to pay N4m in cash for damages then help evacuate the debris of the collapsed structures. I thought that would be the end. I never Knew I was just diving into another trouble. Immediately after settlement of the collapsed building structure, I hired another building engineer. After 2 months of the commencement of the building which had gotten to linter level. The building collapsed again. I was really running out of cash and going ballistics over everything happening. In just one year, my CGPA had dropped drastically. I was struggling with my academics. Our building had collapsed up to 4 times. When it gets to linter level is when it will always collapse. My guys would encourage me. Most at times we go to Ilorin together. My mom has been worried over the building collapse issues. I had to get another land and started building with another building engineer. It also collapsed. I felt it wasn’t ordinary any more. People had started telling my mom to find solution. My forex trading had collapse due to the economic recession the world was experiencing. The relationship between I and funke has been on-n-off because of the numerous girls chasing me. “Yes I had become a little popular i and my 2 guys even though I didn’t really have car.” Some girls take me to be humble and had come to love my personality. I conduct business seminars and tutor students on how to make tangible money online. All that was just used as a cover up for the yahoo business I was into. But as the money were coming, I have not had a tangible investment with all my money, and business has not been moving so good and in 300level still battling cgpa that was 2.7.

This particular Sunday. G-money came by Our house to visit us. He had been aware about my ordeal. He once suggested we go see a babalawo but I refused at that time. But the present time, i was ready to go with the advice because it was too much for me. G-money even suggested that the babalawo was stronger than the first one we met. He started explaining that at that stage we are, we no longer need the babalawo that did the virgin blood work for us. That we need a higher one. The more we work and go higher; it would be better we go for a higher power. He said he was taking us to a place in Osogbo, Osun state. But they assured me that no scarifies would be made because they knew I detest any ritual sacrifices. The way G-money was hyping this juju man. That he had done great works for Governors. I come think say the man go rich wella.

A week later, Na so we follow G-money go Osogbo oo.
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