Story: My life as a Yahoo Boy By iphekitan - Season 2 - Episode 15

Episode 7 years ago

Story: My life as a Yahoo Boy By iphekitan - Season 2 - Episode 15

With everything happening I don’t know if I”m making it or if am
loosing it, I feel am on the right path or have been on the right path
rather. Since everything has been smooth in my life lately, and all of
a sudden this glitch is just happening.
Krissh came to ib. The next day as planned and agreed to help purchase
the sound systems comprising of four speakers and one amplifier, I
couldn’t go to purchase the stuff myself because I wasn’t chanced at
work.
At work I did all I supposed to do diligently and kept to my self as
much as possible, I was low key, thou we don’t have much to be
occupied with most times, I’d just be coding, have made half way
success with the mobile App by then but am still having issues with
payment aspect.
Friday came by and everything was in order. I planned not to go to
work so I called in sick.
Krissh and I loaded all the sound stuff in a pick up truck we rented
and we drove to the primate’s church.
Thou I was a little nervous, we got there around 1pm, they were having
some sort of open field service, so they were not making use of the
church auditorium, the place was overcrowded sef. I told krissh to
stay in the truck which we parked outside and I went in, took off my
footwear and joined them in the service.
I tried surveying with my eyes if I could locate faith among the crowd
but I couldn’t. At the end of the service, the primate was holding
meetings with some people and the meeting were taking like forever. So
I just sat at a corner and focused of my phone.

Boo!!! (Was shocked looked sideways and it was faith standing beside me.
Me : oh good afternoon faith.
Faith: hmmn afternoon, oga, you couldn’t holla me you were coming.
Me : don’t mind me jawe, it skipped my mind.
Faith : so you have decided to come and show gratitude after all this years.
Me : that’s life for you jae, can you just help inform your mum of my
presence, because I don’t think she would leave that meeting anytime
soon.
Faith : okay I’d be right back.
She walked away and approached where her mum was, she was talking with
her, her words weren’t audible to me though, then I noticed she
pointed at me, and the primate also looked in my direction with a look
of surprise on her face.
She stood up briskly and they approached me.
Primate : ifeoluwa!
Me : good afternoon ma.
Primate : is this really you.
Me : yes ma.
Faith : we both attend the same school mum
Primate : oh really?
Me : yes ma.
Primate : hmmmn let’s go to my office.
Faith turned and went on her way, while iya primate led me to her office.
In her office.
Primate : iphekitan
Me : ma!
Primate : iphekitan!!
Me : yes ma!
Primate : iphekitan!!!
Me : ma!
Primate : how many times have I called you ?
Me : thrice ma.
Primate : why are you here ?
Me : firstly ma, am very sorry I’d show up all this while, and am very
sorry ma, I came to show some gratitude, I brought some speakers and
sound stuffs for the church.
Primate : oh thank you , and is that all .
mehn I told her about my J0yst!ck losing erectness all of a sudden, and
about how bosun directed me to come back to her , and the two years
remainder warnings.
Primate : hmmm have you heard of the story pharaoh’s dream.
Me : yeah about joseph interpreting pharaoh’s dream in the bible
(still had the knowledge ,junior secondary school CRS classes)
Primate : exactly can you summarize the dream to me ?
Me : well pharaoh’s dreamt two dreams I can only remember the first
one which was that he was standing by a river and seven fat cows came
out of the river and later another seven thin cows came out of the
river and while the cows were grazing by the river bank , the seven
thin cows came and ate up the seven fat cows.


Primate : well you tried, let me explain it to you like joseph
explained, he said ” there would come seven years of great plenty
throughout egypt, but after then, there would arise seven years of
famine and all the plenty will be forgotten”. This dream applies to
you.
Me : how ma ?
Primate : I really pity your circumstance, I should have informed you
earlier had it been you came back, but you didn’t , the thing is, you
have seven years of great wealth here in Nigeria and another seven
years of great poverty here in Nigeria. Then another seven years of
wealth again, then poverty, that’s the sequence 777.
Me : (shocked by the revelation, omo na two years remain oh) ma so
what’s the solution.

Primate : well it’s simple, immediately the first seven years is
completed you are to leave nigeria for another country, there the
seven years of poverty won’t affect you outside nigeria, when the
seven years of povery has elasped you can come back to nigeria. I.e
the 777 is only applicable to you in nigeria.
Mehn I was dazed 777 is the number.
Me : okay ma, I’d think that through, but what about my Attention ma ?
Primate : just take a bath with a local sponge at 12 midnight to be
precise and throw the sponge away, your manhood would rise again.
Me : just that ?
Primate : yeah just that .
Me : okay thanks ma. So please can you come along so we can drop the
stuff we brough for the church.
Primate : okay.
I called krissh and he drove in the truck, we off loaded the stuff and
then left. In the truck I explained how the thing went to krissh and
he was just smiling, jeez unserious element of a friend.
Me : why are you smiling now ?
Krissh : because you have a solution already !

To Be Continued…