Must Read: Honorable Secretary (18+)

Episode 6 years ago

Must Read: Honorable Secretary (18+)

night outings are not usually my thing but for Murphy’s insistence. Murphy was my friend who worked at the State Liason office – which served as quickie base for me and Toyin – so I couldn’t really turn down the invitation to wash his new ride. He’d also invited a couple of other guys and we all met up at this exclusive joint off Allen Avenue in Ikeja for the mini party. I came directly from work, not trusting the madness of Lagos traffic to allow me get home early enough and come out again. On offer was alcohol of all types – beer, brandy,vodka, whisky et al – point and kill, pepper soup, nkwobi, asun and pretty much anything to make a gathering of jaiye jaiye boys groovy. Soothing highlife music could be heard from the music center standing in a corner and our gathering occupied two long tables placed next to each other on one side of the enclosure while other patrons sat on the other side as the booze and gist flowed freely.

I’d planned to leave the place by 10 sharp, so when my watch hit 9.45 I stood up, excused myself from the table and made my way to the gents to empty my bladder prior to heading home. The passage connecting the main building to the conveniences was not so wide and it was partially obstructed by two guys engaged in an argument. Their matter seemed to be escalating pretty fast as one of them violently shoved the other, making him lose his balance. Not one to poke my nose where it wasn’t invited, I paused for a bit, silently contemplating whether to turn back or wait for them to settle their quarrel before I moved on.

The smaller guy jumped up from the ground and rushed right back at the other one. Snatches of their loud argument reached me where I stood, something about a girl. Meanwhile, the smaller
guy was soon on the ground again, having bounced off a wall after another almighty shove.
The bigger guy didn’t stand aloof this time but moved threateningly close as if to do more damage.

At that moment, something propelled me forward.

“Oga chill now, you wan kill am?”
Mr Big whirled around at the sound of my voice.

“Wetin be your own if I kill am. I wan teach am sense small say everything no be money. Imagine this rat chooking my own babe, this cockroach dragging babe with me!”

That thought seemed to infuriate him more as he swore and aimed a brutal kick at the floored man. Two more kicks followed in quick succession before I could get closer and hold him back.

“Bros, e don do. Don’t break his bones now.”

My interference didn’t sit well with the guy at all.

“Were n se eleyi ni? Who call you to this matter sef?”

Before I knew what was happening, a balled fist was travelling at the speed of light towards my face. Mr Big had no way of knowing that I had a black belt in Karate. Evading his angry swing was easy and I probably would have let it go at that but he had other thoughts.

“Ehen, you think say you sabi weave abi? No wonder you dey aproko for case when nobody call lawyer instead of going to piss jejely. Okay now, show yasef. Waa mo pe Oji lo n ba e ta.”

He left his supine victim and faced me fully, throwing a combination of punches aimed at my face and torso. If any of those hammer blows had connected, I would have dropped to the ground like one hit by a truck but I just bounced around and dodged them all, ramping up his rage.


Cursing loudly and in full attack mode now, Oji made to grab my shirt in a bid to drag me close and pin me in a bear hug but I again evaded his reaching hands, stepped aside and slapped his monkey face.
Spittle flew.

“Yeeeeeee! You slap me? O gba mi leti? O gba King Kong Iya e ma ku leni walahi!!!”

Like magic, a knife appeared in his right hand and murder in his eyes so I knew i had to end this drama before my blood became involved. He rushed in with the intention to stab but I feinted to his left causing him to aim for that direction then swiftly moved to the right and kicked his wrist, sending the knife flying. There was an audible crack as the kick connected.

Oji screamed.

“Owo mi o!!! O ti kan mi lowo o!!!

Now I was in vexed so I landed two quick jabs to his chest before slamming a jumbo into his abdominals, causing him to double over in pain.


His face was at a good height for a well delivered knee smash which disintegrated his nose before an uppercut lifted his head and smacked it into the wall behind.

He went down like a sack of stones, battered, bleeding and unconscious.

Breathing heavily from my exertions, I stood there waiting to see if he would get up for more but he was down for the count and out. Only then did I turn to help up his victim who was now struggling to his feet.

Guess who it was? Karishika’s husband!!!
You
I yanked my erstwhile outstretched hand out of his reach immediately and made to move off but the pain in his voice as he begged for help drew me back. I reconsidered and helped him up.

“Easy bro, just take it easy”[B] I cooed to him as he gingerly rose to his feet.
His lip was split and bleeding and his watch strap was broken but all in all he looked alright although he couldn’t fully stand erect yet due to the pain in his gut. The faint whisper of gratitude could easily have been missed.

[B]“Thanks for coming to my aid bro, that ape wanted to kill me.”

“You’re welcome, I responded. Just thank your stars I hate bullies, otherwise I wouldn’t have intervened at all. What did you do that made him so mad at you though?”

“Let’s leave here and I’ll tell you. I can’t risk him regaining consciousness and meeting us here.”

I looked at where Oji lay on the floor, his face a mask of blood and his mouth hanging open, exposing his bleeding rotten teeth.