Must Read: How 3 Girls Fought Over 1 Guy (A Tale)

Episode 7 years ago

Must Read: How 3 Girls Fought Over 1 Guy (A Tale)

AS expected, they gave each other that eye batting thing that women do, maybe it’s because they figured that fighting in the afternoon is not good or maybe they felt that fighting in the open in front of school authorities will not end well for either of them, no one made a move.
” anti-padi , how far”, uzoma said , giving me a highfive, I told her I’m cool and she started talking to me, acting as if we are best of friends, acting as if mercy does not exist and she is not right beside me. This is not a good time for me I thought , this two girls are using me to try and score a point, they are trying to make each other jealous using their friendship with me. mercy too caught up to the game and was putting her hands in mine as if I was her boyfriend, also asking me irrelivant questions.


They kept up this game for most of the 30 minutes we we’re on that line, it even got to a point where both of them were trying to talk to me at the same time, it was really awkward moment, as I was trying to keep from offending either of them.

Both for them where using me to score cheap points, and I was desperately trying to make sure this new tactics employed by these girls ends in a draw, cus if either wins, I lose badly, this is a new semester, don’t want to start it with any of them on a bad note.

I was the happier of the three when we got near the front of the line, they had to keep quiet or get warned by the people doing the registration, I was much more happier when uzoma lines moved faster than ours, she finished and left while we(mercy and i) where still on the line.

We did our registration and left for the hostel , did not see mercy again for the rest of the week, went home for the weekend and came back on Monday, now school was in full swing, everyone is back!.
Monday evening, after lectures, we, the boys, where in David’s room playing badIcoot crash (its a cart race ,shooting game on ps2), I don’t know why , but we just went crazy on it. A guy bought a pad extention on which you can attach four pads, therefore many boys can play at same time.

By evening David said he is going to mercy’s room and asked if I’m coming , I said no. Going their will mean seeing toke, and I was not in the mood to see her that day, moreover, me, another roomate and ade had decided to contribute money to buy Don Simon, go to an uncompleted building some distance away from the hostel and drink our life’s out.

The main reasons for going to that building are 1, ade and the roomate want to smoke the latest weed from other states, I suspect its oshogbo weed, the second reason is that boys in the room are not afraid of any dark place in the school again , as long as ade is around, if fact our bouncing in the school has been elevated to 2.0.

As planned, we bought the don Simon, 2 parks, and went to the uncompleted building, we met some guys there who bought their own weed and a bottle of Chelsea dry gin.

I don’t know how Igbo smokers become frIends sharp sharp, they have started hailing each other. All of us where drinking while all except me where smoking, it was interesting to watch them sU-Ck the weed, lighting it over and over again and passing it around.


I was offered several times but I rejected it, I preferred my red wine in it paper pack. After a while, probably it’s because of the alcohol in the system, and the several times the guY’s yabbed me each time I rejected the weed, I started considering taking the weed for the first time.
“take am guy”, “you go like am” “e better pass cigger”, “e go make you strong” “you go reason well well” , this and other things they said while trying to get me to smoke.

After a while I succumed, yes I took the weed, though with trebbling hands and put it in my mouth, ” drag am” ade said and I dragged.

It tasted like smoke, dry grass and burning paper, I was expecting and instant reaction but nothing happened, “if you wan enjoy am, you go drag am well come swallow am” ade continued. I dragged again and attempted to swallow, come and see coughing , I started coughing and the boys where laughing, after I regained myself the weed had gone round twice, I was giving again, I collected it and dragged again, I coughed, but not as much as the first time, the hailing I received gave me confidence and so anytime it was passed around , I took a drag.

We finished the drinks, finished the don Simon, and now it was time to go, the boys jumped down from the window side we were seated and started leaving
adelooking back at me)” come make we dey go na”
me: silent
other roomate: “anti, make we dey go jare”
me:”I can’t feel my legs”
ade: ” wetin hin dey talk” he asked the other roomate even though he heard me well.
me: ” I can’t feel my legs”I whimpered
ade:” you don sidon too long for that windows, na blood no go your leg be that”
one of the other guys said to ade ” bros, no be blood be this issue o, see him eyes , see as he dey look”
ade: ” wahala don dey o” he said to the other roomate

I became afraid not understanding what is going on, all I know is that everything is becoming more heightened, I could see in the dark , I could feel the blood in my veins, I could hear people talking a mile away.
me : ” I turning into a vampire”
other roomate: ” yeee, and this guy talk say e no want o”
ade: ” no worry, e go soon clear, let’s just get him back to the hostel”
They helped me down from the window and supported me from each side, we are now out of the building, walking on the long very silent road, ade called my name”anti”, though he said it once , I heard it like ten times, it was just echoing “anti, anti,anti, anti” as his voice ringed in my head.
“no…no…no…no, talk….talk…talk…talk…talk, to…to…to..to, anybody…dy…dy…dy…dy o!”
me: I heard you the first time, why repeating it”
other roomate: ” Haa, na only once he talk na”
ade: ” *****(calling the roomate name),”shut up a beg”
They where abLe to escort me to the hostel , we were like 20 feet from the hostel entrance when I was mercy(in front), david(in second position) and toke running towards us. From a distance , they saw how ade and the roomate where helping to keep me up right , i was was leaning on the two of them and swinging from right to left, I just wanted to lie down and sleep, anywhere will be comfortable.

The girls thought the worst had happened , that I had been beaten to a pulp, they were now confused when they saw no blood , no marks or any signs of rough handling.
“What happened ” asked mercy “anti what happened to you” she asked me in a worried tone
me: ” mercy, help ive been bitten”
toke: ” who beat you”
me:” bitting , bite!”
mercy and toke: ” what bite you”
me: “eeehhh”
toke: “is it a dog, a snake, he said something gas bitten him and you guys are taking him inside instead of heath center, look at his eyes na, he is not okay!”
ade:” nothing bite am jare”
me: “no, no, no, no, something bite me, a bat bite me, I’m turning into a vampire , pls lock me up before I bite someone”
The girls cannot decipher the smell of weed, but David can, so he figured out what is going on, he just put his two hands on his head, looking at me.
me ” why you dey put your hand for ya head, someone die for ya house” I said angrily
mercy put her hands in her mouth, toke attempted to say something
“shut up” , I shouted at her
toke:” has he gone crazy?”
me : ” sharttap there, me crazy, i still know things o, as I am now I can calculate the degrees of progression and regression as they relate to random variables in bifurcations of a triple level. I might be a little bit not in shape, but modifications are underway to correct certain minor difficulties. Can you calculate head pressure, for you to say I’m crazy, is it because you don’t want to date me again that you are stupid talk is fleeing from ya mouth like lead projectile from a gun.”
” i never said he is crazy” toke said, but they continued to carry me into the hostel , I continued to rant, calling David bastArd when he tried to caution me, the worSt was calling my babe “b***tch until she turned and walked to her hostel , mercy walked after her with her hands in her mouth.

The federal ministry of health had warned that igbo is not good for your health, I now know why!