Must Read Story: My S*x Service To My Principal And Students

Episode 7 years ago

Must Read Story: My S*x Service To My Principal And Students

I remember the first day that I got the apartment where I lived during my service year.

My guy David gave me a lot of assistance and
support. He helped me settle down. That was
probably why he became my tightest homeboy.

Aside that, I discovered in an instant that he loved the fun life: drinking, partying, girls.

I loved that life too but the difference between us was that he was really wild while I was really quiet.

Anyway, we still clicked.

As days went by it seemed that we got closer. No, we did get closer.

He introduced me to my girlfriend, Sandra who was equally his girlfriend’s best friend. So we became four best friends.

On a Thursday morning, I prepared for school and decided to check on my homeboy before heading out for school. It had become a culture for us to check on each other in the morning before going out. I knocked on his door:

“Guy how far na?”

“Corp Lee!!!”

David was my namesake but we never used to call each other our names. His used to call me ‘corp lee’ (whatever that means) while I use to call him ‘counterfeit’.

I used to call him counterfeit because girls never used to get anything good from him. The best he could do for a girl was to cook indomie and eggs for her. No more, no less. And oh, they used to like him too: he was a really smooth, light-skinned, fine brother. Very funny guy.

There was never a dull moment with us, life was fun, full of laughter.

I remember us walking down our street one
evening, going to fetch water when I ran into one of my students.

She was in ss2, I can’t remember her name now.

Anyway I introduced her to ‘counterfeit’ and they exchanged numbers. If only she knew how counterfeit he was. Lol.

He told me the day that the girl was appointed to come.

After she visited him and left, he came to my room. I knew he would have fvcked her. That guy was an amazing dog.

“Counterfeit!! Badest guy. How far na, she don go?”

Then he began to laugh, I joined him in laughing
too. Whatever it was was definitely worth laughing.

I knew he would have done something mischievous and funny. I trusted his branch of comedy, and I was his biggest fan too.

I asked him again:

“Guy, how far na, talk na, how the show go?”

“Omoh ehhh, that girl dislocate her leg o”
(Meaning that the girl had a joint dislocation).

We laughed some more. Louder.

“Guy, how e take happen na? Una bin dey fight?”

“No. E get one chinese Blue film (po-rn) wey I buy so I bin dey practice the styles wey dey for the blue film. As we one practice one sweet style naim I hear‘krraaaa’. Omoh na so her leg break o”

This was too funny for me. I ran out laughing out loud, like a mad man. I nearly choked to death. Till this day, I still laugh whenever I remember this conversation.

I thought he was joking until I didn’t see the girl in school for almost a week. When she resumed, she never talked to me or ‘counterfeit’ again. To her, I
was probably counterfeit too.

*back to this day*
He was lying down in his bed when I entered.

“This one wey you still dey sleep, you no go go
work?”

David was a Tiler (used to fix tiles for houses, halls e.t.c).

“Omoh eh e get one chick wey I carry come from ajegunle last night. The girl just finish me. I dey very weak.”

Ajegunle was the code name for a slum near our neighborhood. A very substandard place where poor people lived and the girls living there were extremely cheap and bad too.
Alchohol, Drugs and wee-d. It was simply sin city.

“Ok na. Me I don dey enter school o. Make I go tidy one or two things”

“No wahala we go see when you come back”.

I left his room and headed to school.

An hour or so before break-time, I got a call. It was David’s girlfriend.

“Hello, corper”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“I’m fine. Please where are you?”

“I’m in school. I hope no problem?”

“Please come o, police people carried David and those your neighbours this morning. I have gone to see him in the station and he gave me a message for you.”

“Ok. I’m on my way now. But what caused it?”

Omoh make I no know whether I go run o, cuz na small thing person dey carry enter prison for naija o.

“Its not something that I can say over the phone. Just come please.”

“Ok. I’ll be there in 5 minutes”

I dey wonder wetin my homeboys don go commit….