Solace - S01 E03

Story 1 year ago

Solace - S01 E03

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 3

"Kevin continues comforting his mother. When he gets dumped, it is his mother's turn to comfort him."

By the time I woke up Mom had slipped out of my room. There was part of me that didn’t believe last night had happened, but a large, dark spot on the side of my boxers was still damp with female sexual juices. There was no denying what had transpired. I took a moment to get my head on straight and process my feelings about it. Then, throwing on basketball shorts and an undershirt, I left my room in search of breakfast.

I was the last one up this Sunday. Cora was already fully dressed sitting at the kitchen table sopping up egg yolk with a piece of rye bread. Mom had changed out of her little black dress into a fluffy pink robe and was doing her best not to make eye contact with me as I entered. She hadn’t managed to get all of her disheveled mascara off, I noted as I took a seat across from my sister and began buttering toast.

Cora gave no indication she picked up on the tension in the room. She chatted with me like it was a normal Sunday. She chatted with Mom like it was a normal Sunday. It didn’t even appear to register to her that Mom and I couldn’t look at each other, let alone talk. Within a few minutes of my arrival in the kitchen Cora stood and indicated she was going to meet up with a friend to study for some test. Kissing each of us on the cheek she flounced out of the room leaving Mom and me to our silence. Once she was gone, Mom slumped down in her chair. She had only been holding it together for my sister.

We both knew something needed to be said, but neither of us wanted to lead. Mom stared intently at her orange juice. I poked bacon around on my plate like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. The atmosphere hung thick between us, first merely uncomfortable and then downright oppressive. I was about to flee the room when Mom finally cleared her throat and spoke.

“Listen, Kevin, about last night…”

I didn’t life my gaze from my plate, but I held my fork aloft and made an indeterminate gesture. No words came out, but I did my best “no-big-deal” vocalization to suggest the matter didn’t bear discussion. Mom wasn’t having it.

“No, listen baby, it’s important I say this. I’m really sorry about last night. It shouldn’t have happened. I was drunk and lonely, and that’s not an excuse just an explanation. I even knew it was wrong at the time. This has been hard for all of us, and you deserve better from me than...than molesting you. I don’t expect your forgiveness immediately, but I want you to know that I’m going to work hard to earn it. Something like that will never, ever happen again. I’m so sorry, I love you so much and I’ll be a better mother going forward.”

I finally looked up across the table at Mom. Her voice had not once wavered as she delivered her apology, instead bearing a steely resolve that was unusual for her. But as soon as I saw at her face I could see the tears rolling down her cheeks. She had such a firm handle on her emotions in every other way, but the silent droplets streaming from her eyes revealed just how much internal agony she was going through. It broke my heart. I nearly started crying myself.

Before I even knew I was moving I was on my feet. I think it surprised Mom too. My chair tipped over onto it’s back as I strode around the table and took up a position behind Mom. She looked up at me, stone-faced, wet cheeked, eyes begging for forgiveness. Leaning down, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in close. My head rested on her shoulder as my cheek pressed against hers. She was trembling.

“It’s okay, Mom.” I said quietly, soothingly. “I’m not mad at you. I never was. It’s all okay.”

Mom leaned back against me and began bawling. I held her as tightly as I could while she let it out, rocking her gently and desperately trying to soothe her with just the power of my presence. It was much the same as the night before. Finally the weeping subsided into sniffling and I continued talking.

“You’ve bee such a rock for Cora and me, and I know that can’t be easy. We may have lost our father, but you lost your husband. It’s normal to need support, and I want to be there to give it to you. If that means sometimes you need to come do what you did last night, that’s fine with me. I won’t judge you for anything; you’re my mother and I love you. I want to help support you as much as you’ve helped support me.”

Mom turned her head up and stared into my eyes. Her agony had been replaced with pure love.

“You sure it’s alright, baby? You don’t hate me or anything?”

I chuckled, “Seriously, Mom, it’s not a big deal. Sometimes you just need physical touch. I get that, and I’m happy if I can do that for you. Better than the shitty plans your friends had for how last night was going to go.”

Mom chuckled with me at this. Though her face was still wet, she was no longer crying and even had a grin on her face. It was like a stone had been lifted from deep in my stomach.

The tension resolved, we both leaned in at the same time. I think our intention had been to hit each other’s cheeks, but somehow our lips ended up connecting. Pressing my face into my mothers, I felt her tongue hit my lips. I opened my mouth, and for a brief perfect moment we made out. At the time it just seemed like a natural extension of our love for each other, it didn’t even strike me as odd until days later.

All too soon we parted, breathing heavily. Mom smiled at me like a million bucks, “Thanks for being such an amazing son, Kevin. I have to go get ready for work.”

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